Private Life

It's December the years sand is running through my hands . I've fought so hard to not fail , to never fall apart . I have integrity and it's never repaid . I'm running in a maze where life wars with pain . 

Why did he walk away ? Why is there a cyst in my brain ? Why has this year been hard ? I pride myself on having all the answers , you know . I'm pretty smart when it comes to people , but today I have no answers . 

I'm climbing steps that are exhausting only to find myself on top of a ladder . 

I know I just need to pray and have faith . 

It's not a mid life crisis you see , it's just my life , I don't take it to seriously but then again , benchmarks do , 

Where do we go from here as tears stream down my face , writing to an audience wondering if you have ever felt the same . I know I'm not where I'm supposed to be , but I also know I've come so far , I'll get there some day 

4 Squares

There's a note left empty on the back door

I kept the t shirt and my hoodie that is left with your scent 

With all the umbrellas telling their stories in the rain 

I'm left alone in pain 

Your good bye a understated cliche 

And my smile you threw away 

Endings

The year closes her eyes 

I tell you , the scars are hidden under miles of broken bones and inked arms . 

She ask's me 

How to begin again 

I tell her time heals most wounds 

As I filter out the hooks and jackets 

Ready to set out amoungst  the rain 

As I kiss him good bye one very last time 

As puddles form beneath her feet 

She Braves the storm again 

Pardons

Archived it says , a thousand secrets 

Inbox flashing empty 

Folders sit under wire rimmed glasses 

Where every smile meets and cars drive by round cemetery track 

Control alt delete 

Sleepless

When I think about it I feel sick and can't sleep ... 

How to Know A Secret

This is the most real excerpt I will ever write . So pay very close attention . I want to say it because it's the most important life story I learned this year . I have thousands of readers here so I want to spill my guts ... 

This is a rare event I know . 

How do I explain it ? Mmmmm.... This just became difficult . I this year learned what true love is . There were no games , no lies ,  it just was . No worries of intentions , no who text or emails first . 

I'm telling you , listen closer ... 

When you open your heart to someone there is no bull shit . It just is , for good or 

Bad . You dig into each other and listen .  

Best friends ... 

If something is less than this , drop it . 

Period -2014

Hydrogen

Smiles crease empty iris 

Crowds shed light on empty conversations 

Nothing is heard 

Talking with nothing said . 

The wall stands tall 

Holding hands through cracks 

I turn , no one looking back 

A mirror 

Just like that .... Disappears 

Current

There's a lost ship with no sein 

The current breaks her legs and she mourns 

There is no turning back the tide , you see 

No wind to fill the sail 

I'm washed amongst the sand 

Depleting an hour glass through bloody hands 

I watch the stars 

Making the wish one more time 

North

Justice stands in the middle of broken asphalt 

Tied to nothing yet anchored to tragedy 

Puddles stream on night pillows 

As she breathes you in to sleep 

Run to shelter - an empty room 

Locket tucked around my neck 

There's nothing any one can do now 

I can see for miles 

Scraped knees won't heal . 

Street signs pointing north . 

Muse

She rustles through autumn leaves 

Watches them dying - falling to the floor 

Winter sets in , a quiet death 

A violent war - 

Arrows in the chest 

Only one breath left 

The snow is silent 

She can't wake up 

Black Keys

Body lies in the road 

Flat line and needing a life line 

Her veins black 

Lips red

Snow falls 

Nothing remains 

Stepping through darkness 

Finding light ......

Parachutes

The counter offers my coffee cold 

Eyes lifting from the floor 

Looking to the crowd - strangers turn to water colors , I can't see a single one 

I can't lose the dream . Only lost when I sleep . 

Shattered Sea

Caught a break at the shore 

Heart beats running low 

4 cords broken , and a necklace .... 

The loss of breath in a speechless memory 

Not knowing the time and what I lost 

The last moment you held me 

Caught under a tide 

Where you used to save me 

Circle

Abandoned by faith , I reach across finger tips left in the wind 

I wanted to carry you - 

A landslide of a world crumbles 

If I could have one more day 

When all the minutes are long gone 

Smoke settles I'm left alone 

I won't run 

I wanted to carry you 

Can I bend the wind 

For one more day 

lucky Penny

Cost of a lost penny 

The one you held onto for so long 

Escaping through muted holes in my pocket , 

The rain is pouring out here 

I'm searching through the cold 

My knees bruised and the whole world washes away 

Sifting through the pain 

It's growing dark 

I'm lost 

 

I can't go home til I find it 

No where in sight .....

Awaken

I catch the sun light in a rusted window 

Warm embrace in this cold room 

Always raining inside 

Lying on the ground watching clouds pass by , 

I grasp the warm buttons of your smile 

Wrap it around me like a lost photograph found over and over again 

As the light passes , I beg her hero to come home . But these pictures are black 

And white . 

Waiting by the window 

To catch her sun 

Again 

Diary

I lie in bed , my mind races . I'm flooded with memories of a lost love , I'm flooded with the day's stress . Then I hear a movie playing in the back ground of my thoughts . It's the 1959 sleeping beauty . As the music plays my mind slows back to child hood . The movie is magical in its vintage innocence . All at once my daughter who is napping beside me puts her head on my chest and wraps her arms around my neck . She mutters in her sleep about how she loves me . All at once my mind is blank and stress leaves me ..... 

As the piano suit plays in the back ground . I fall asleep . 

Her Letter

She can't sleep any more , she tries to erase it . She lays on her pillow and it floods her brain , she feels like it's slipping away like an hour glass with no sand ..... 

No end . 

Just lost in her memories of you . 

She knows he won't come back . 

But she has a fire in her heart that won't die . 

She is alright with that . 

But she has no rest .... 

No answer .... 

She just knows , for the first time in her life , what love feels like . 

Your in every song , decision , tear , and smile . 

She can't sleep anymore , 

She knew the last time she looked in his eyes would be the last , 

She stared at him for a while . Breaking into a hundred million peices inside . 

She held it in with a smile ......no one could see it , but you . You knew . 

You knew she truly loved you ...

14th wish

Giving up a hollocaust 

Slitting my wrist to not feel this pain 

It's a tragic war , she whispers in the darkness of where your light used to shine 

She looks down , can't be a friend of time . 

I close brass button jacket

Slip on my glasses and hide behind black ink edges , burning like ashes 

Can you see the flames ? 

Left here alone , no ones to blame 

Soul is a ghost I sent with you 

With puffy red lips 

A heart 

A wish 

Car sales and judgement

Today was a horrible day . I guess people really have a picture in their minds that car salesman are bad people . I sold Audi 's and guess what my store was honest . We would get fired for lying to our customers . My new job its relentless , they are so vicious towards me because they have this idea that I'm bad , because I sold cars ? Let's take this deeper ... Shall we ? First of all fuck you to the people who judge others .  There are bad people in any profession ,  no matter what .  I'm a nice , honest person .

I was told to quit today because I'm a car salesman ... So lesson is - don't judge others . And fuck everyone who does ...

The Truth on Beauty

I've been taught my whole life in order to be loved or accepted I must be super thin , dress a certain way , be a certain way . Being taught that I was enough was never in the daily routine . I grew up with severe eating disorders and social anxiety . I bought into a lie . Thankfully I know now that it is a lie . 

I work out to be healthy and strong and acceptance based on beauty is not my focus but my integrity and my heart . 

I see so many people dying of eating disorders . Is it hard every day for me to believe I'm enough ? Yes . It's haunting .

I'm not saying not to care for yourself or be healthy because these are crucial to a healthy life and mind . 

What I am saying is , you are enough just the way you are in the mirror . I mean if you are not good enough for someone else than are they enough for you ? 

The answer is no . 

Let me tell you a story , years ago I was so weight obsessed I took every drug spent hours in gym every day and almost died . I found myself in a hospital and thought this is not worth my life . It was that day I chose to live . 

Lesson : do not compare your self to others . 

Do not talk negatively to yourself 

Do not find love of self in others . It's in you 

If you have an eating disorder get help . It will kill you . 

Be you be beautiful . Don't let anyone silence you . Be empowered . 

Thank you 

Amy 

Post - tragic

There's a single smile set aside in time only meant for you , 

As I move to the train I see it coming 

I board and wave good bye . 

There is nothing I can do 

Love isn't enough to save the world 

I was looking to save yours 

I battled the war , not alone but apart 

And the station is empty 

So she boards alone 

Winter

The cold stains her fingers as she holds what's left of her heart
Sleeping under the stars captured in a necklace dangling in the snow

What she has left of wishes is fading in the cold winter
As she patches the broken mirror together she sees his reflection ....

Yet she can't reach him .

The Crown

Blue stains the walls of her eyes 

Never leaving imprinted iris , a blooming heart photographing fingerprints on fragile soul stitched together 

Like shadows and untouched puzzles never knowing the picture only loving the color and the time spent together building kolidiscopes and sky scrapers 

May I write a fairy tale , where you rescue me ? 

The man in the puzzle is you and the girl you ask for is me , and you find that missing peice on the floor , 

And there you are looking back at me .

A dear diary

It's Friday night , there are two days left to leaving Audi . It's very emotional . For reasons that I'm saying good bye to much more than my job . I cried all the way home tonight . I don't do very many "dear diaries ". 

Transition - means : you see friends rise and you see friends fall . Also I feel him near me , I wish he would just write , but that's another story . 

There has been tremendous love and pain this year . The most extreme of both and so here I am alone on Friday night writing to all of you . I have made huge changes and I'm proud of myself . I don't feel them yet , but I've made them . I feel the hard part of change , but I know soon the reward will soon come . I have to be positive . Thank you to all my loved ones the ones who are here and proved to stand by my side ... Until next time 

Amy 

Comings and Goings

History goes black 
ink spilled in elementary notes and unused grammar of I love you , destined for hearts asleep on pillows that could never imagine the tears that fall for you , 

On lined notebook scribbles , waiting at the store , empty inbox, filled to the brim is four chambers of your smile and everything I could give , 

Of your beauty , the beauty of your flaws, your home was in me , if I captured a moment , I would take one last picture to hold your smile again . 

There's no other love . as this pen runs dry 

Love Song

I'll never get used to losing you

The Wake

I play  in the snow , keys stained by broken souls fallen on black and white porcelain ashes , foot steps crowd an empty dream as I wipe rusted drawn eyes 

It's left here in print with no proof of existence as the snow falls my brass buttons freeze , pink lips open in disbelief 

In the memory of this funeral procession

Of the final moment when I stood eye to eye  in front of you searching every moment 

To find one to grasp your heart so you would stay 

But you looked into my eyes

Then you looked away 

Compromise

There's a cost to sitting out the war

Nothing gained , losing everything with out ever holding on 

Regret echos the empty drive and the smell of  rotting defeat as the glass sits empty 

For another night left to rusted chairs sitting in a cold bar 

Speaking so clearly , and it's to late 

Waisted gains 

To return tomorrow knowing you will come home wanting 

Letting Go

It's that corner in the day , you live

I sit with you still , where I used to hold your hand 

Now I'm grasping your fingers 

Letting go is all of me , I'm screaming and begging for your ghost not to go 

A shadow of what remains , a vision that steals my soul , 

With you it was  real , I have to stop looking in your direction . Your not coming around and I know , 

The tears fall , as many as the miles you rest your head away and I can't , I sit here in the corner of the day , searching for your eyes , to tell me it will be all right 

Down to hands and fingers  , I look down and cry . 

The Passing

Grace takes my hand , another dawn follows me in her sleep 

Still he is not here and the days remain hollow 

The light stands still at the end of the tunnel and all I have is fate and faith 

And a little girls dreams I hold onto with notes crumpled and old . 

I keep them in a safe box beneath my lungs locked away . Waiting for eternity's hoping for his return 

Maybe another day

Negative space compiles over Picasso's best canvas torn down in a rage 

I converge to the road I drive aimless 

There's your eyes I center my gravity 

Nothing is everything lost now in broken days 

I wait at the door and nothing 

Faith sleeps with her mask on and I'm pounding down her door . Is anyone listening ?

I carry you in my smile , in the song and in every peice I give away and hold on to 

I can't seem to move . I can't seem to breathe you see . 

You are the lungs I used under the ocean 

The heart I used to find joy 

There is nothing apart from my day with out you 

As I let go I hold on , as I wait a little longer  

Island

I've tried all the alleys and the roads 

Something is coming at a cost 

I just can't shake the way you broke me 

Hammered me down to the floor 

Tell me since your long gone how your the only one who found the way 

Through the maze 

Left me standing here 

It isn't right 

You stranded her here , at this private sea 

A cast away 

I'm dead with out you its just a matter of time and it's ok 

No one you see ever found it , 

Held my hand walked the distance 

As I sit here now alone watching the current 

Will it ever bring you back to me ? 

Because there's no way back with out you , 

I've never been here . 

City lights

Composition of life extends her arms 

I ask her to talk 

She lights a cigarette , says honey I can't bring him back .... 

There's a hum to the city air it's cold and I'm Empty 

I walk under the lights , they whisper something about the night , I can't hear a word they say 

As I run out of breath I wonder where my home is .

And I write an obituary for the memories in my head , all the words I write never seem to be as great as the smile you left on my heart so I throw it in the trash instead 

I beg the stars to bring you back 

I beg this place I write for you to come home 

As I grieve 

As I walk these streets lost with out you 

There's nothing left I can do 

Nothing left to say 

You n me

Carry you with me in a song 

Shadow

Tide comes in , steals the dawn from my broken hands 

The tears stream and their used for your benifit , 

I walk the places we have been , and it corners the thoughts in my head . 

I can't get away . As far as you ran , 

It's midnight and I'm trying to sleep 

 

I'm waiting 

No ones looking back at me . I can't sleep

Snares

There's a broken sidewalk 

I trace the lines carefully , 

Cautious is the lions den 

Pacing back and forth for the lamb 

As he tries to pretend he is a King 

Crowns don't have to try to be made of gold 

As you come up a filthy penny . 

#enemies

Pages

I lay here on stage , 

Audience quiet , I hang my coat 

Toss the piano away . 

I'm alone , in a crowded room 

Remembering yesterday . 

Don't

Don't leave me here , I'm in love with an addiction , and I can't imagine this time while your gone , it's defeating me and she's in tears . 

There's a dream in the sky 

And only you could take me their 

Now I'm dancing alone in the night 

Dreaming you will meet me here 

So I wait in the dawn 

Across broken asphalt 

Watching for you to come and save me 

So listen here my love 

Don't leave me here . 

17 Days South

I'm sinking like a stone in the sea - The Brand New 

Half Past Midnight

The record plays over and over 

Same song same good byes , 

The story should've never been 

Written that way - 

I sit with the endings , the fabric of torn sheets 

Fingerprints smudged as they walk out 

Away 

From 

Me 

There's a pillow I lie on 

Where my dreams are asleep 

It's not what I had written 

It blows away in an empty wind 

I run fast to replace it 

Nothing seems as real 

There's always the consequence 

To risking the last kiss , captured in every poem that followed to the moment 

I'm lead to believe there is an untold story 

Of chasing dreams 

If he asked , " I found my self breathing in your breath , the marrow of the heart that pounded in her chest , grasping for his soul to come clean , " 

As he 

Escaped 

From 

Me 

I'm left with the story 

Of an empty midnight street 

Windows

The path is broken limbs on winter roses 

Sullen , black and have record of coursing vains that imprint 

Foot steps in callused snow 

She grieves the dawn , so she loses sleep 

Knowing it's another day your gone 

Paths

Gravity bends measuring the mirror 

There's a void an we run to the light 

Moths flickering about thier journey 

Stuck in the framed glass window 

Comfortable  by it's warmth 

Yet that is where they die 

There's an open door

I walk out of 

I breathe the air 

I'm alive 

Walking The Line

Cash hands out a line about hurt 

An you know what I mean as the weeks trail on , 

Words crumble on paper as I type 

I can't find them , the lamp shade grows dim 

My mask hides a lions den 

I'm pacing waiting for the slaughter  

Only that it's dead winter , we know our fate 

I picture the dawn warm 

Every morning 

As this month closes 

Another book 

Another poem

Vision

I run this race and see you beside me 

Every breath I lose 

You whisper a winning secret 

No one can see you but me 

I'm digging deeper 

The finish line is far 

I'm alone 

But yet you are with me 

Tears stream down my face 

And you tell me don't give up 

I barely made it today 

As I finish at the line 

Your eyes 

Your smile disapate

We will try again tomorrow 

Wagers

There's a glory in faith when she looks upon you and smiles 

An all the hope we hide behind tired eyes 

Is alive and we are awakened by all that we ever dreamed of 

Risk wins battles as you sit in my shadows , I'm winning because of your purpose , if you could only see me now 

There's a moment when I'm still 

I realize your ghost is leading me into war 

It's all I've got left to hold on to 

My heart cracks more , I'm left heavy 

Standing in the crowds , with out you 

Alone . 

Faith raises her hands and tilts her head 

I told her I didn't believe her , 

As I now lie here alone . 

But what they don't understand that in this , I know that it's real . 

Files

I trail beyond the surface 

Glitter falls in some fashion of funeral rain 

I begin to laugh like I'm insane 

Reality sets in , 

Of all that is and I scratch it with a needle and heroine switches up that conversation we had to sometime last May when you thought I was something , 

I can't take away your numbness 

It's something you have to wake up from. 

You can't use me for your excuses 

Your judgement is clouded , my shot has one blood IV injection straight to the heart 

Your dilated eyes see my intention 

Your running 

I'm guessing your not coming home tonight 

There's only so many bruises I can take 

I just wanted your bed to lie in 

A place to call home 

You wouldn't believe it if I painted it on your walls 

Would you ? 

It's you who should be doing the convincing . 

I'm not the martyr . 

I gave it my all . 

I wear your name on my heart framed lense 

You let me go like a watches hand 

Turning with out forgiveness 

You walk past . 

I wear my dress for you 

Do you notice ? 

But you walk on by 

Shaking hands with fear and pride 

Like everything's all right 

And then you leave with out even saying 

Good night 

The Ladders

There's a cold road we travel 

Unhanded with brave smiles 

Wearing our proud hearts 

Wondering why we get thrown the stripes 

To breathe in their pain and let out a sigh 

Training to be a champion 

Missing it by the mile and I'm reminded 

As I lose sleep that no one is at her finish line 

Blood fills her eyes she grips the ropes 

Tells herself she can finish alone 

I handed out paper hearts 

Scissors and rocks in return 

I can do this I sing to myself 

I can finish this 

As they leave my side 

With every mile built in stone 

Every boy lost in sand 

I build a castle 

Watch the tide pass me by 

Haunted by ghost 

Of every good bye 

The winter won't forgive 

I wear a half cocked smile 

She knows I'll win the race 

Story

There's a oneness about the atmosphere 

In a moment lost in your picture 

Removed from words that separate hands from I love you to good byes 

Lingering to the lost moment in between 

Tracing every step wondering how I could 

Get it back to change her back 

To ask her for the chance to live again 

For only a moment on your breath 

To ask your eyes the question 

If you had one last moment 

Would you give me one more minute 

Before you turned your head 

Did you even look back 

Did you ask yourself the question 

As I sat in bed wondering 

my heart layed on the floor beating 

As you walked down the hall bleeding 

Could you tell me ? 

Or was it easy 

I lay here now 

Not wounded 

Not in need of a simple needle and thread 

 But shattered and un mended 

As sure as I know you will not read this 

For if you could 

Surly you would answer 

Walk down back through the hall 

As I lay still in this bed broken 

Waiting 

As I'm left with your picture 

You need to finish the story 

Of a long lost love 

Who remains 

Separated 

I just need one more minute 

To convince you to never 

Leave again 

Composite

Words compile by time 

Read in order as you lay on my pillow 

I hear your voice 

Laughter echos the room , it's warm in your embrace I am safe 

The world rebuilds as you hold my grey 

Your eyes the ocean I longed to live in as a child 

I slept there at night 

I'm drawing your smile as it erases the lull of the day

As my inbox ends I'm reminded 

You are gone . 

Filing letters away one by one 

Dear Diary

Today was a rough day . I can't put my finger on the moment it all came crashing down for me . 

Maybe it was explaining how my Friday night blind date was a disaster to our receptionist , because my heart belonged to someone else. . 

Maybe it was the fact I work with some not so nice people , and he wasn't there today to cheer me on . 

Maybe it was that song , the way I remembered the way he made my day smile 

Maybe it was the drive with my tears streaming because he is gone 

Maybe 

Just maybe it's how it went down 

Prints

Empty glasses , warm fingerprints still left 

To carry home the hand broken holding 

Her heart that was given back 

Contemplated against the walls of time 

Faith's watch stopped ticking 

Head dropping 

I warm my face in this winter 

Begging her for one last moment in his eyes 

Fingerprints begin to dry 

They run clouded from sorrows eyes 

The grave I carry with me now 

I can't resesitate . I walk along side me now of the person I used to be . 

The other gone , you carry her in your arms . 

There's a chapter I can't write 

A missing child , a missing light 

I sit at this table 

Faith pretends she can't hear my sorrow 

As I warm my breath on the glass 

To feel your hands again 

Memorial

Rogues the kind that destroy the ship 

The kind that come out of no where 

In a cold night 

Destroying every wall 

Making it's way down every hall 

Drowning you and everything inside 

It's consuming 

How the night  and the water 

Sing my funeral 

I couldn't hide 

I knew it this time

I stood on the deck and let it take me 

I was bare 

The mass I built for years 

So strong and steady went down first 

Hand stitched the photographed memory 

The water was warm 

As I fell under neath 

Feeling all that was buried within 

The rogue was my seine

Dying to him 

To never live again the same 

Thoughts

No I wouldn't call this a poem , I'm just a simple girl . Who hides her emotion . And it all came crashing down to a thousand poems and I was ready to show it all for one person , and he said no . Forgive me for being a little angry and maybe I can be understanding , but I am upset because so many questions go unanswered and I was brave . I risked everything , everything I never risked before in my life . For a love I never felt before . For him to hide to run . So forgive me for swearing to much this week , or scrounging for change for my rockstar because I'm not sleeping or sleeping to much . Or crying or not enough or being numb or angry or sad . 

Or playing my music to loud or driving to fast . Or hating you because you left me with no answers , and I'm left here to move on . 

But at least I know I risked it all . Everything , if you only knew how much I risked , what I went through , but you didn't ask , your not here . 

Makes it not worth it ? 

That makes me Angry ...

Now not only do I have to forgive you 

But I have to forgive myself too 

Negative space

I entered into a vast dream 

To try to escape the reality of losing you 

And there you sat on my couch 

I held you again under covers 

And I laughed with you.

I was there connected through time

And space , holding hands 

Vapors of smoke a marage

Of everything I couldn't understand 

Doors I couldn't open 

Words I didn't have to say 

A clock that's fingers never pointed

I sat there in the room when you weren't looking 

I watched you 

In the midst of the crowd 

I took you in

I swallowed you whole 

For all that my dream let me 

Then you got up 

I ran searching 

I searched 

Tears ran down my face 

I found you 

You hugged me so tight 

Said , you made a mistake letting me go 

Then I a woke 

Found my self alone ......

My Letter To Him

Hidden Beauty - written by M.F.

The world is wearing a mask today

She's all dressed up in anxiety and paint

I'm sitting, waiting for the rain

To wash the mind away

And maybe in darkness there's a beauty

Maybe the kind that doesn't fade

And maybe with light comes the duty

To burn 'til the last eyes turn away

But my muse is hiding her face today

She's disguised in the tides that obey cruel fate

Who simply recede, with their fingers at the nape

Of her neck, I confess, there's something forgotten

Something long lost that

Still resides, right where we misplaced it

The sky echoes the sentiment

Thick and thunderous with discontent

Blindingly screaming at split-seconds

Where we trafficked our dreams across these sands

I was there when the fire was lit

Bare and waiting for you to notice

The space in this world where we might fit

A thousand poems into a moment unspoken

I'm still writing them

Still deciphering the impact

Where the sand is glassed and cratered

And charged with your scent

Where my heart was steady and sure

Even if my eyes couldn't see it

But the world is wearing a mask today

Something's somehow different

And I can feel the last few waves

Encroaching upon my skin

And I know in this night, there's beauty

I've tasted it, been regaled with tales

Of how so many have wasted it

I refuse to be the sum of them

Refuse to let the world sink in

I'll be the waves that crash on the rocks

Before I'll be the current running from them

I'll be the rain that frees you from the thought

That any dream should remain hidden

I'll wash away your mask today, show your face

That you'll know you never needed to go

And paint over it.

The I Can

There's a stack of books

Empty pages 

I read line for line 

Empty . 

It tells me everything . 

Run far , as far as you can tell 

I write the story behind your eyes 

As you stare from across the room 

I grab at everything in between 

In desperation 

I throw your library in a fire 

A concentration camp of anger 

Let me re write your story . 

As you kiss me 

This trail of gasoline 

It's everything 

To be afraid 

Of what they always said you couldn't be 

Let me show you the way 

I'll come a thousand miles 

As you stare from across the room 

With all the regrets and I'm sorry's 

Let's make it more 

Re write the story 

You were always meant to be 

Corners

There's words that fall through cracks 

And sounds that no one can find 

And a sheer panick of lost hope 

My stomach aches I feel empty inside 

There is nothing that can save me this time 

I can't love hard enough 

Or hope enough 

Or have faith 

I'm just lost 

With out a song 

No piano plays 

It's just silent 

Endings

He looked me in the eye 

Asked if I was going to cry 

It took everything in me 

Not to fall apart in his arms 

Beg him not to go 

But I knew he wanted to 

So I had to sit in dead silence 

The Great Loss

What can you say about loss 

Beating heart 

Streaming tears 

One love 

One life 

One instant 

Gone 

Death 

The Answer

Telegraphs are written through smiles 

Across cold rooms 

Becoming warm and emptied out places 

 

Made of fabric woven from memory 

Stretched beyond pain and fear 

It interferes with the picture we want to create 

So we wonder how do we cut that away 

There's a time table to death 

A millisecond until it all ends 

I refuse to live life in a coffin 

Every nail bent 

I can tell you the secret 

If you come close 

It's called equal value 

Back and forth 

Continually working at something 

If it's not equal 

Then find fifty plus fifty 

And it ain't ice cream 

If you know what I mean 

Code

I think a writers code 

Is written only for the elite 

Who can read the Braille of the soul of her pen 

And those who can comprehend her 

And seek her 

Get to sleep in the belly of her heart 

Picasso

Writing mends broken beauty 

Like port holes into stained glass windows 

Making ashes to hearts again 

Setting fire to the past 

So let's breathe 

I walk on the water 

Trying not to drowned 

My enemies try to distract me 

Mocking me

I laugh 

There bellies full of guile 

My path may be unsure 

But I'm moving forward

I catch the first train 

To where ever holds my dreams 

If it isn't this 

It will be that 

But it goes on 

It's a canvas 

Life's drawn in 

Wish I could paint it in ahead 

Call me Picasso 

But I'm just the writer instead 

Notes

Strangers pass 

Nodding morning gestures 

I congratulate them with a smile 

Every hello a tourniquet  

For today's wounds 

Chasing Alice

I found my self in wonderland 

Don't want my feet to hit the ground 

Is it real or is it pretend 

No turning back now 

There's a hallway I'm lost in 

Not a door to open 

Not a road to drive on 

I'm running still 

Hold my hand 

I'm upside down 

I'm falling apart 

I'm put together 

I'm sitting at the table 

There's no turning back now 

Hold my hand 

I'm lost 

I'm found 

I'll survive 

I hope your the door 

I climb in 

I hope your the bread 

makes me small 

And down we go 

To chase our dreams 

I found my self in wonderland 

Don't want my feet to hit the ground 

Come with me 

 

Station - love this poem not by me

A moment

I want to be hidden in you 

Where only I can see 

A special place just for me 

I want you to be hidden in me 

Just for you 

Where only  you can see

The Hunt

There's a calm below the surface 

Everything is held together by needles and thread 

I walk amongst a busy crowd 

Yet she's alone and the world is quiet 

I hear them whispering my name 

Which way to go 

I keep moving forward 

I'm not here to convince you 

It's you who should be convincing me 

I'm not chasing the treasure chest 

There's a map 

And an X to the gold I acquire 

It's here for the taking 

If you 

Take it 

So I rest 

And wait 

For your voice 

And your words to bring me home 

To your arms 

And I ask you 

To save me with your smile 

Surprise me 

Hero 

With your devilish smile and your cape 

Christina perri - arms

Xerox

There's the surface we climb on 

Speaking to without explaining 

There's us , just happening 

Like a whisper and a passer passing by 

Waiting for an on coming train

There's just a chance 

One chance 

I'm not a beggar 

I'm just asking you 

Not to say good bye

If anything 

It's your eyes 

Your words 

Your smile 

You 

Me 

Can't be copied 

Grace

I thought about her today 

As cotton candy and peaches 

Conversation runs like Peter Pan 

And the wisdom of important chatter fills the room 

There's a smile in her that hugs my brokenness 

And her song puts my lost dreams to sleep 

Her breath breaks my skin 

And I want to save her from everything 

Intent

There's a fabric between finger prints 

In the dark they lie quiet on your skin 

Scarlet letter drawn in black pen . 

There's a ghost 

Your shadow 

Keeps her alive when your gone . 

Pushing a smile above the surface 

Capturing her grace 

I'm fixated on this canvas 

He is the picture I can't finish . 

I've got every paint . 

There's something to a forest 

You get lost in 

I fall asleep in

It's midnight 

If I could feel it 

If I could hold it 

If I could paint my finger prints 

Down your spine 

Asleep in the fog 

Trying to finish what I started 

 

The date is going to expire 

As she's left on the shelf 

So I write this letter to myself 

Empty pen 

To hold 

Him again 

Secret

We're stretched out soldiers 

Running amongst the city 

I know your secret 

You don't have to tell me 

The tide is getting stronger 

To take me away 

From you 

What you want 

You have to reach for 

We're stretched out soldiers 

One word 

Makes all the difference 

No need to whisper 

Before I'm taken away 

If only .

Life piles on the sink 

Like old bills and cold coffee 

The radio plays telling me  a story 

Of a missed life 

I hum to the sound of regret 

And make believe things can change 

It's all I ever wanted 

Magic . 

Life lesson #100

Never believe what people say unless there words are based on results . If there's no results words mean nothing . 

- Amy 's wisdom for today 

Atlas

Puzzles fall together on an atlas 

Some what shifted and unput together 

Cordanence is genuine 

It moves like a needle through skin 

Like being lost between here and a thousand oceans 

And a black hand shake good bye 

Grim reaper smiles at the funeral 

And she cries ... 

White Flag

You gave me courage

I'm fighting 

But it's been so long 

Your not here 

I think it's time 

I 

Let go 

Collide-scope

Tides wash away pictures 

Painted on iris lense 

Distorting my sight , causing bruises 

The lining of my conciseness breaking the frame 

Words congest the mouth 

Not even hearing what is said 

I'm clouded in places where time is standing still . 

And I can't escape it 

I can't lose it 

I write every moment left on this letter 

Grasping at what's left 

Like sand in an hour glass 

Moving quickly yet 

Never fading 

It's under these lines 

Where you live 

I lay in my bed 

Distorted dreams 

I find your smile in 

It's midnight 

I can't sleep 

The band plays a symphony 

I'm writing these letters to you 

There's something to a theif 

Who holds my voice 

I am silent 

And she writes 

I can't hear a word they say 

I'm frozen in time 

Where you are still alive 

Under these lines 

You live 

Listening : nine inch nails ghost 1 -1 

Saturday 7-5-2014

It's Saturday almost noon . It's warm outside , the dealership is cold . Cold in it's comings and goings . I'm sitting here on a plush brown leather chair , wishing I was laying on white sandy beach in Carlsbad . I also day dream about my lost love . An how I wish he would walk through these doors and give me a warm hug , and make my life back to where it was . Not that my life isn't good I'm moving forward , it's just different .

Different without my rock . 

So here I am sitting on this leather chair , watching the door ...

Enemy Ground

The wicked hold there place 

I try my response in laughter 

You build kingdoms that fall 

I'm left standing 

I leave a message for the blind 

With a voice that binds 

Old pages and empty lines 

You wouldn't even hear her cries 

For it's the cry of the evil 

I bear 

And mend 

Anger meets me at the door 

I know these transgressions well 

Just because I know 

Dosent mean I'm the mat on your floor 

They say , " she's a stupid girl " 

I say , they seen nothin yet . 

Mock me. ? 

It's your trial and your jury 

Hanging your head on a rope 

Who will you call ? 

I leave now 

Mask off 

Door open 

Leave behind the guile 

I am an angel 

Amongst the hell and fire 

No matter how hard they try 

They can't beat me 

There anger my strength 

There hate my motivation 

I'm walking , with my smile on . 

The Real Race

In loss

In this loss 

I can't take another day 

Gripping steering wheel 

Music loud 

Can't let go 

I try 

I just 

Can't 

Dear Diary

Next week I will begin a new journey , a new job . I'm pushing forward through a wave . All odds on my strength . I'm running full force , can't stop to think about this journey the past few months. . So much change . A lot of mending , and a whole new destiny . And holding on to hope and love , to get me through . 

Post War

There's a storm breaking 

I drive 

I'm suffocating 

You are the air 

I don't know how 

I don't know where I belong 

I'm lost 

The atmosphere now gone . 

Disguised

Lend me your ears 

The beggars hold their cups 

I'm the walking dead 

A skeleton brittle boned fear 

There's a game 

Fuck you and your pretension

I am left to erase reality 

Filling the cracks with empty space 

I'm scratching at the surface 

Of the air you breathe 

I'm calling 

The world is listening 

It's my avenue 

Trudging dark streets 

A starless sky 

It's black 

As I carve my Braille words 

On your eyes .....

Lend me your ears 

I'm a travesty 

And the beggar holds his cup 

I spit on the ground 

You walk on by 

Tossing your change on the ground . 

Cost of War

There's a cost to war 

When your gun is warm 

Half dead and half won 

There's an army under my chest 

Medal constitution 

No regret 

The black clouds suggest going back 

But I have come to far 

In this bullet proof vest 

My eyes tell a story 

Poker face conversation 

And the piano is playing louder 

At all my mistakes 

I laugh at this soldier 

In the dark I need no compass 

To find the shore 

Swords dull 

I don't need much 

To win 

I'm still standing 

We're the willing and departing 

It's my ocean 

I'm brave 

I'm broken 

I'm writing from the hull 

Stronger than I ever was before 

You haunt me 

You haunt me 

There's a cost to war 

Gun is warm 

Half dead and half won 

We go on ....

Rain Fall

There's a masquerade 

Tempting fate 

Clutching cupids broken arrow 

There must be some mistake 

He says 

I'm worn by the storm 

I sit and feel the rain fall 

An it's all about to fall away 

I'm standing in front of the clouds 

Closing this door 

To yesterday 

Sea

Quiet the storm 

Lost in the oceans thunder 

Tossed like a small boat 

Lost my anchor 

Lesson

I think the only lesson in life we have to remember is we just have to keep pushing on ... 

And the people worth loving will be there , the ones who aren't won't . 

Where you left her

Divided amongst one 

Story of holding hands 

Just my heart 

Kneel beside me 

And Come home . 

Your letter , was like a stranger left 

With a blank stare .

And I don't want to write any more . 

Great Divide

There's a sacrifice for being brave 

For wearing that face 

Swallowing tears in a room full of strangers 

Everyone pulling at you 

No one 

No one 

Seeing you 

There's a gaurd at the gate 

Where your heart holds a vice 

And he knows your name 

There's nothing else that matters 

You look away 

There's a million things you wish you could say to change his mind 

But you know you can't 

So you stay silent and brave 

50 years

I feel you watching me 

As I lay here I feel safe still in your arms 

This is the silent war I'm waging 

You put the same uniform on 

And fight on too 

I can't help but wait 

But it won't be forever ...

There's something about the day 

And stale conversation that makes me 

Know exactly what it was all for 

I try to explain it 

When they don't understand it 

I know 

It's right 

I travel in crowds 

With out you I'm alone 

I lost my best friend 

If I wrote a love poem 

It would be about losing that 

My soul is the needle to your 

Unstitched thread 

If you never come back 

I'll manage 

But not whole as I once stood

you carry the best parts of me 

Where ever you are 

Where Ever you stand 

I was lucky just to know you 

Just to sit with you 

And you can read years and years back of everything I ever wrote 

That I never felt like this 

So you know it's real 

This might not be the most beautiful letter 

But it's the most true 

And it will be in 50 years .

2 D

Video reel plays 

Enough to translate a smile 

From your face 

Crowds walk by 

I notice the tone 

Of a lost voice fading 

From a computer screen 

30 days 

Weighs heavy 

Life in. 2 D 

Control 

Alt 

Delete 

Empty

Tap type search 

Blank 

Stare 

Nothing tells me 

No answer 

I type feverishly 

Sit in this chair 

Russian roulette sounds nice 

A bottle of pills 

Reality sets in 

Google can't find my joy 

I delete old history 

Tapping 

Typing 

Nothing 

The Coming

There's a collection of sunshine 

Under grey clouds 

Simple storms bring progress 

Around the bend 

There's a star waiting to impress you 

With your one last wish 

Before your last breath when your about to quit 

An all the while when memories flood your veins and over whelm your heart 

And nothing feels the same ... 

Remember the finger prints you left 

On yesterday 

Could bring back those hands 

On your face 

Of the clock you watch -day to day 

Clandestine

Clandestine 

Hollow out frame 

Making my way 

Raised eye brow 

Dialated pupil 

Empty mirror 

Shade 

Broken h2o

Exhausted pillow 

Pain 

Existence 

Heart 

Pounding 

Mourning 

Pressing 

On

1

I never knew it until it stared me in the face 

I couldn't even imagine it 

Write about it 

I laughed at it 

Mocked it 

Guarded it 

Spit on it 

A life time of wars conquered 

Vows made 

Lectures won . 

Until one day 

A girl was faced 

Eye to eye with a boy 

She was able to see into 

Every corner of his soul 

With out hesitation 

She reached for him . 

With out thinking 

With out looking back 

And he saw her too 

And reached back . 

And he left her 

Believing .

Faith

Passing words carry keys 

To lanterns hanging on trees 

Lighting dark nights 

Illuminating whispers 

Inches apart over vast seas 

Stretching apart a good bye 

Proves he's not a coward 

Making  her love grow stronger 

A telephone made of silence 

Begs him to be hers 

He says I can't 

Tonight 

Rings

I crawl in the depths of enemies 

Grasping at my strength 

Clutching at my light 

I'm screaming 

I want to hide 

I'm at the finish line

Broken bones

I stand 

They reach for the power in me 

For everything 

They are lacking 

I look down 

And smile 

I know the price 

To be found - wanting

Close your eyes

I sit at a kings table 

I walk the distance dressed in scars 

Buried in risk 

Cloaked in mistakes 

I'm looking back 

Running forward as fast as I can 

I can't forget 

All the while my world seems to be falling apart 

And coming together 

I know how to do that to well 

Until you walked into my world 

I was guarded 

Only one song played 

The universe held my hands together 

Eyes shut 

Hearts played 

You kneeled beside my bed 

Gave me shelter 

I fell in your safety net 

Heros come at night 

Leave in the dawn 

Wear masks 

And capes 

Make you believe in fairy tales 

Hold my hand tight 

Left at first sign of light 

What I would give 

For one more 

I sit at a kings table 

Writing about a girl and her very first love 

And how she wishes this fairy tale was real 

If only she had one more night 

Kneel beside her bed 

Tell her it will be all right 

Endless love

My first love 

Was everything all at once

The kind you never fall back from 

You never try to 

Never want to 

A love so big 

So strong 

It never dies 

It never fades 

It never loses it's electricity 

The kind of love you fight for 

The kind of boy you fight for 

Subways

Pace concrete 

Black streams private 

In dark places 

The secret tide 

I write chapters 

About the thief in the night 

Once taken

Plagued with a new beginning 

Losing my heart 

Leaving it behind 

In the palm of your hand 

Know that you forever own it 

To never be given 

To 

Anyone again 

Paper Cuts

I search through a crowded room 

A hundred faces empty 

I hear your voice 

You show me the door 

I crawl through a broken window frame 

I know you are waving good bye 

I want to scream no 

There is no choice 

I know 

I fought 

With all I had 

I walk backwards 

Through the crowd 

No one knows my name 

I watch you 

Drive away 

I think is there anything I can say 

To change your mind 

To make you stay ? 

I toss a penny in the wind 

I'm left here standing in the middle of the road with nothing left to bet 

If you can feel with me gone 

Then it's not worth me crying 

Is it 

The room is empty 

But I'll find my way 

Just not right now 

Repeat

I see the boy collecting fingerprints from a girl 

As they kiss over the warm pavement 

I see the newspaper black and cold pressed spreading disease 

I grab my coffee and watch the clouds warm the shadows over the mountain 

The music drifts into the back of some memory of you 

As I drive 

And it's all I think of 

As I put the song 

On repeat 

Aces

I'm playing poker 

Misplaced the ace 

Royal flush 

I could say how I lost my words 

They sit here bare boned 

Left to dry 

Hide my eyes 

I could say fuck you for your letter 

You felt you had to write 

No meaning in your good bye 

Transparent in my chair 

Left unhanded and cuffed to the unseen 

Waiting 

Do you remember 

Me 

I believe 

There are lines I can't write 

That I know belong in you 

And 

Me 

So fuck all this bull shit 

I throw the deck 

I search for you 

Unplugged 

And missing 

I find you here in me 

Slowly disappearing 

I'm waiting for the real answer 

In all these pages 

Yet nothing is coming to me 

Brass knuckles

I'm white knuckling on the edge 

Of an atmosphere 

Time races by 

I hardly notice 

I swallow my tears in a room 

Full of Jekyll and hydes 

No thought here 

Blinking and talking 

In pattern like hand stitched 

To hell and fire 

I wake up with you 

I sleep with you 

I fight not to fall from this mountain 

I see what lies ahead 

I keep going -to live 

But I feel nothing with out you 

I turn pages and pages 

And write word after word 

I can't escape 

Searching for freedom 

At the same time 

I don't 

Want 

To 

Grasping 

With everything I have 

At the edge of this mountain 

Hanging by a thread 

An atmosphere trying to breathe 

With you 

Gone . 

Watching for the wish 

Of falling stars . 

That you will find this hand reaching 

As I sit on the ledge 

Find me here 

Save me 

Once 

Again

Scripts

Metallic and unlisted I go on 

Under highway broken 

Cracked and unregistered 

You won't find me 

Amongst the heavens 

They try to catch me 

I'm a hundred leagues under the sea 

Where I started 

Under the smile of my friend the Cheshire Cat 

Madness fills my eyes 

Bad decisions fill the  emptiness of last night 

Washing yesterday's love off my heart 

It isn't working 

I'm strong 

Strong enough 

To lose 

When your not looking back 

At my notebook 

And this is my pen 

Writing you out 

As you wrote me out 

Wish it was that easy 

When you have no heart 

No heart 

They call it a disease 

I knew it well 

Until you walked into my world 

But I am strong enough 

I'm telling you 

I'm telling me 

I'm strong

Days

Her beauty in spades 

A princess hiding in a train 

Heading south 

So many tears she hides 

Behind framed glasses 

And lost secrets

The sky has a canvas I paint her 

With my eyes 

If I hope hard enough 

Can you feel her heart pounding ?

In your chest ? 

She returns home 

Pondering the next station 

I can't sit still 

I'll lose direction 

All these hallways lead 

To 

You 

I escape on this train 

As I write 

I listen to tori play her song 

I go about my day 

With demons and dragons 

Playing some silly symphony about 

Never being loved as a child 

They will walk my way 

But I don't see them 

They are the shadow 

I am the light 

No one can see a shadow any way 

50 years -For You

I feel you watching me 

As I lay here I feel safe still in your arms 

This is the silent war I'm waging 

You put the same uniform on 

And fight on too 

I can't help but wait 

But it won't be forever ...

There's something about the day 

And stale conversation that makes me 

Know exactly what it was all for 

I try to explain it 

When they don't understand it 

I know 

It's right 

I travel in crowds 

With out you I'm alone 

I lost my best friend 

If I wrote a love poem 

It would be about losing that 

My soul is the needle to your 

Unstitched thread 

If you never come back 

I'll manage 

But not whole as I once stood

you carry the best parts of me 

Where ever you are 

Where Ever you stand 

I was lucky just to know you 

Just to sit with you 

And you can read years and years back of everything I ever wrote 

That I never felt like this 

So you know it's real 

This might not be the most beautiful letter 

But it's the most true 

And it will be in 50 years .

Dear diary

This is my last message to you .

I love you 

Please come back . 

You gave me a reason 

I'm lost with out you 

Excused - repost of mine an old favorite

I shutter in leather eyes lashes

Cuff me to black veins

Fool me into your prison

Cut me in your dungeon

I am the spy

Love me

In heart shaped locket

Keep me in your magazine article

Between news lines and spread

I am muted space


Between cherry red lipstick stains

Drawn in stitched panties

Made of lace.

Reach for me

Beyond wire rimmed lens

Dense imperfection

Music and conversation fades

I am beyond the crowds

In Contempt

Handcuffed to buttons

The way my smile creases your heart.




As I fade back into the distance

You smell me on your fingers.

Capes

I see you in a crowded room 

I toss my cigar 

Walk towards you 

You watch me 

Black garter dripping intention 

Fucking you with regret 

Loving every minute 

You grab me 

I make my escape 

The car awaits in the dark night 

We go for a ride 

You tell me something about lines spread 

Fingers pressed against my lips 

The road wet . 

The night hides our secrets 

I beg you 

Not 

To 

Leave 

Me

Faster 

I say

The road draws darker

I'm begging for more miles tonight 

Heart pounds 

Harder 

I woke up this morning 

You were no where in sight  

Red

My hands come up empty 

I'm searching every corner 

You whisper 

I can't hear you at all 

There's a hundred walls 

And a hundred reasons 

Rusted nails bruise time 

Inhabit dreams 

That we're there 

I am irritated 

I drink pills for water 

h20 eyes 

Form my words as I write 

As numb as I can breathe 

You aren't here tonight 

Are you listening ? 

I suppose you aren't 

Because there is no answer

I search for you 

In the hollows of empty cold dreams 

Once warm and inviting 

Now I'm left here 

Imagining 

My letter

Almost wrote you yesterday 

Music playing 

Tears streaming 

And then they said 

Move on ....

I read your letter today 

It reads like the winter cold and effortless

I lose my breath one last time 

I know their right 

I just know these words aren't right 

Maybe this is my letter 

And I'm angry 

I'm moving on 

I just know inside I shouldn't 

But  I am 

Your not here to prove me wrong 

Trespassing

Red Baron becomes a lost shadow 

Amongst the angry sky 

Compass falls apart 

The radio is quiet ....

Small medal pieces left of home the last proof you were ever here 

No matter where I go I hear you 

Bringing her tears 

I sing a lullabie to sleep 

To keep you safe in my dreams 

10-4 and out 

Copy the heart left to the ground 

I pray you return 

Red Baron - stole my cape 

I'd give it all up 

To set the sky on fire again 

If you hear me 

From miles and miles of broken sky 

Everything I have is yours 

Tonight 

Happy birthday to me

4 am 

Today is my birthday . What can I say . There are no major reflections I suppose like other years . I suppose that is a good thing . My goal is to just simply accomplish my goals this year . 

Sure I had a bench mark so far . Maybe not one I hoped for . But you can't take what's out of your control . I believe in fate and faith . I'm sure time hAs my name in her notebook and it will be my turn next. . 

Until then this year is about pushing forward and keeping my chin up . Always be who I am . 

True to myself , I've learned thAt in that there can be no regret . 

5/21/2014

Stationary

Inbox blinks 

Check close repeat 

Empty 

Sigh cold night 

When you believe 

It's erased like control alt delete 

I'm drowning 

Cry where no one can see me 

Left with a canvas full of paint 

Where once lied grey 

There is a sein in my promise 

Now it's a scene with caution tape 

I drive alone 

Wondering where it is you go 

Somewhere lost behind me 

I'm left searching 

14

Bruises line heart and beats

Like music that silently plays 

Because you are no longer listening 

I hate the cloudy days 

Nothing is the same 

The winter wears her coat 

As a spirit dies the night cries 

There's no mistake where I hide 

I am less a man with out her reason 

I am less the man with out her purpose 

Anchor cast ashore 

Tears make the tides 

As I watch you in the distance fade 

I lie and say I'm alright 

She walks the beach 

No hope no regret 

I would give anything 

To look into your eyes again 

I'm in a shallow grave 

You haunt every move I make 

And I

Can. No longer fight 

If you could only hear me tonight 

You changed my life 

If I could fight I would until I die 

Just to look into those eyes 

But you walked out of my life

I'm alone with the tide 

A Way Back Home

2 am.


I can't sleep , where do I go . I keep writing and deleting lines that are as broken as I .Tell me where home is ? When you find it and lose it . I'm homeless . I'm not sorry I take risk I'm just sorry in the losing . Finding your smile and losing it requires me to go to sleep for a while Back to where I started

What can a writer say about losing heart . I find myself in a momentary shadow . That is desperately missing her light

What it is to be hidden

The piano plays her keys silent

in a room full of cold breathing dragons
I speak dutch , and my silent laughter fills the room

she says," Can you hear me ? "

I write in Braille on the walls fingers bleed
and they wear it all over their hearts .

As they smile at me. But they can't hear a word I say .
And My purpose is completed today.

I build bricks and buildings  for a living and there aint nothing beautiful about that.

If you can find the maze this little girl hides in I will  tell you

she wears pink lipstick and if it makes sense she will hold you

But don't try to get  in to those panties ........

There is a winter under the warm sun.

Under my coat is the black and white letter

And a red heart some where in the mail
I sent it off to the Dream King

But I'm not sure if he will sign for it

So I sit here and write instead.

I am sitting in this room
I am beginning to look like them
But what they don't know is I am Anastasia instead.