Sunday, December 25, 2016


See past white linen sheet
Bare past sunlight
Drowning under water
I left the message their
In that bottle
Did you see it ?

I pause the dice black table
I fall in the lake
It's night and I'm cold

I'm lost
Under blankets bare alone
Did you hear me
Under water

It was so dark
I can't see you
Can't feel you

When I touch
You touch me

Saturday, December 24, 2016


Blue scatters like empty and lost footprints
Running down my buttons , turning my round eyes
Black , desperate in their attempt to find you -
Bring you home even if it's just tonight ,

There is a word for letting go
Like a hand torn away in the crowd
Like the child who lost his mother

The sky can't shine
With out the stars
Stars can't shine with out the sun .

a universe taken away
you are the stars
You are the sun
You are , you are .......

Blue scatters like marbles on the bath tub floor
I cry alone as the water falls .....
I sink slowly
Memories just a telegraph away
Saved .

Friday, December 16, 2016

Cold War

I almost died once , the only thing I needed to know was if you loved me . For me taking my last breath my heart wrenching in pain as I laid in the ER , my son crying next to me . Do you ever wonder what those people think ? At this moment I knew . What I always knew . We were like the movie big fish . One of my favorite movies . I wrote you that night in case I didn't wake up in the morning . I got no reply . This was last year today . Something that will always pain me . Twin flame I believe you are . Do you know what that is ? I try to let go but the deepest part of me holds on . Could you answer the question if you ever read this ? What does a soul do split in half I've never known what love can do until I felt the pain of your absence . Until I knew your presence . Your the king in this world full of fakes and pretenders . And no one loves me like you did .

Friday, December 9, 2016

Here We Go

It's 12 am . You think by now this would become a walk in the park , some. Tragic error I'm used to  the same old drill over and over . But as I watch my heart monitor once again go from 74 to 110 I know what's coming . Epilepsy sucks . I take my heart medicine it's not working . And im stuck wondering will I end up in the hospital tonight ? I don't want sympathy , it wouldn't even do epilepsy any good . Your alone in it . When it happens a fear strikes you , that can't be controlled . Will I die tonight ? Is all I will imagine . No one knows what it's like to feel that way unless you've almost died,that's the only way I can explain what a seizure is like . No cure . I only have mine at night . My days I try to fill with joy because my nights are full of terror . Maybe I'll get some sleep . Maybe I should blog more about epilepsy . So more people become aware .

Saturday, December 3, 2016


Slip my fingers past my agony
There's white cotton caution tape
And I'm breathing you in my dreams .......

Grab my neck
Soldiers are marching in the desert
The devil dances on my shoulder
I walk the streets with the stars

I leave you here
I leave you there ......

I'm all grown up
My lip sticks red
Follow all the rules
Forget about love they said .....

Meet the pretty rich boys at midnight
Let them use you up and spit you out instead .....

Kneeling on the ground
Soldiers fighting at half past 1
Faith calls your name

Life hurts you said
But we chose who hurts us
And my decision was made

Alone in my bed
He's all grown up
Love is in a box
Red lip stick on

Sunday, November 20, 2016


It's deafening here
I hear your message clear
Static builds in lines empty
I color in old books of hearts and initials
Crumbled and lost beneath a bed

So I manage to take the train
Another way
Another day

I walk boldly away
But I'm lying if I didn't say
My heart at the station is where it stays

A friend once told me
You can't quiet mad love
So instead it's scattered in ryhmns
In letters

I can go
You say please let go

It's like breaking gold .
So here I go

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Twin Flame Love

Twin flame love exist. If you do not know what it is or understand it you may not have found it yet. Twin flame love is spiritual. It's not on a physical level. It is rare, you will feel like you know everything about them when you meet them, you will know when you see them, you will hear them when they are not there. Look up twin flame meeting, I have met mine have you ?

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Waiting Between

The farther I go 
The closer i come back to you 
Like a broken compass 
It's arrow always pointing 
Always suggesting 
But never doubting . 

I find myself searching 
Lost sometimes . 
Never when I come to terms with 
The arrow . 

I've never been so sure about anything in my life 
And every time I turn my back to say good bye 
Something tells me , no this way . 
How can I be so wrong ? 
I feel you in my soul . 
Am I wrong ? 

I watch the compass now alone 
Wondering if you watch it too 

Friday, October 28, 2016


Soldier grieves the war
Black rose lined the left side of her finger
Thorns absent - heart oxegyn.
Spilled into your lungs like paint
Hung in your living room mantel

I'm haunted by perfect love
Skeleton key - subsides under
Paint brush

I breathe .

Grieving soldier
I can fight alone
She can fight with out you here
The death of me , is life with out you
Marching on
Piano screaming in the dark
Forgotten .
Like the winter .

Thursday, October 20, 2016


It was leather and the fog followed her
Buckled under the loss even now
The coroner  asked her
Every decision is calculated
Even in decision

There's a message in your pocket
She held on to it all these years
Clutched on cold table
Withered , the man was curious

I searched the clock
It was empty , no numbers , no faces
I couldn't remember how the day went
How I got here

I put my hand on my chest
I asked for the answer
Clutching old paper
Everything's a message
The paper was blank
The coroner read it loud

The table was cold
Ravens black .

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Paper Mache

I'm not sure how the sky grew so dark
How the stars lost there light
Or how the music became so silent

I just know that roads are always connected
Even when they seem so divided
Maybe you read these letters addressed to you
That sit in my mail box empty
Read by my wire rimmed lense
Crafted by paper clipped heart instead
I keep in this locket perfect with your vintage
Letters I keep warm with whisky trying to forget
The way I can't stop

Saturday, October 1, 2016


The metal coats hang
With frozen smiles
Empty pictures - I stand here
Wait for your imperfect hand shake
Did you notice me in the corner of the room

There's a disguise
I didn't win the race tonight
Stupid girl in red ribbons
Should've known better ,
Never was that girl - sitting in time out

Had a voice
In an empty room
I fought for you to remember
My name

Should've come naturally
Funny I have this audience
All of them here
except you

She was extrodanary
She was never meant for the corner
Come in
Come in

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Love Letters

Delicate glass finds its self under the feet 
Of my eyes , I can't see my reflection 
With out you in the horizon . 
I can't write words with out my hero as the subject or look to the sky with out the star - 

And I drive watching the moon 
Wondering if your ever looking back at me 
As the drive feels more and more alone 

It really doesn't matter if I say good bye 
Your written in every line of my life 
Under shattered leaves of fall
The loss and win to lyrics of these songs 

The only problem is 
I can't bring you home . 
Why can't my love be enough 
I'm just a silly girl
White cotton panties 
Warm sun 
My heart beats big for you 

Not the biggest band aid could do 
I just always knew 

Wednesday, September 7, 2016


Moments sit on finger tips 
Dancing on ideas that seem to fade 
In and out like you 
The frequency resonates 
The band plays - 

I fall asleep to the tune 
I write my own story 
I'm my own orchestrator 

I fall into your sea 
Lost and forgotten 

The Stars won't leave me 
The band plays louder 
Then fades into the distance 

What can I do 
What can I do now 

These moments sit on my fingertips 
Waiting for home 

Tuesday, August 30, 2016


Here I am at the door 
No ones there 
I'm scattered left remaining 

Tasseled hair 
Maybe it's meant to be 
Left alone 
Hand grasping air 

Butterfly bandaid 
Hiding yesterday 

No one looking back at her 
There's a time and a place 
But the clock never seems to be pointing 
In her direction 

What does it take 
To start over 
Do you see me 

Like holes 
In black sky's 
Feel me breathe in you tonight 

Here I am at the door
No ones there 
I'm scattered left remaining 

Monday, August 29, 2016


Take me home to my heart . 

Sifted through ashes 
Conquering the wars 
Slaughtered lambs there's something to say for the living 

Something to remember for the lost 
I have a voice 
Lost under glass 
Concrete walls 

Free me from this 
I'm the wolf 
Pacing at the door 

Covered in the lambs tragedy 
So here you have the storm 
I have everything there is to be told 
I'm not an underestimation 

I'm the lullabie
To unanswered prayers 
So listen close 

There's something to be said for the living 

I been sifted through the ashes 
Found wanting 
Made into new beginnings 
Take heart I say 
As the clouds gather 
We will not fall 
I promise you 
We will not fall 

Sunday, August 28, 2016


If I sent you one last letter 
I would tell you I'm letting you go 
Your the ace missing from my deck 
The best whisky on the shelf 
But I can't hold on to love 
That doesn't love me back 

And I can tell you 
It would be worth waiting forever 
As you live in these over due pages 
With no return answers 

Friday, August 19, 2016


Alice commits suicide 
Can't shake the shadow 
She runs one way 
Hearts another 

Kings sit pretty with crowns 
They watch her fall 
It only matters if she's on her knees 
As she band aids the loss of being incomplete 

There's an ace missing from my deck 
There's a storm over head 

Nothing can stop her 
From un becoming what they want her to be 

She looks past the shadow 
Like Peter Pan 
A fairy tale can't save her 

I sit here between words and periods 
In this world alone 
Says , Alice 

Searching through every window 

Sunday, August 14, 2016


It's this place
He says . 

Take my hand 
She says . 

Across the wall 
Built against oceans 

I make this boat 
Patch work left wounded 

Stitches and sails unfolded 

It's dark here 
The storm comes from her eyes 
She becomes a light house 

He said I see you 
She said 
Come . 

Lights faltering 
In and out through the haze 

I can be your sun rise 
But as I sit the sun only sets 

Thursday, August 11, 2016


A letter where words break apart 
The last letter I will

About how it changed my life 
Something I have to let go 
And can't say good bye 

If I sailed the world to find the darkest ocean 
It could never hear the torture 
Of losing what could never be 
Found again 

I listen in the darkness 

How do I say goodbye 
In this letter I write 

But I can't keep fighting either 

I'm a ghost
Your the sailor 

I see the pictures 
And I'm not your home 

I can't forget 
I can't remember 

Can't say good bye 
Can't say hello either 

So here's your stamp 
I'm home 
I'm not your home 

Writing to say 
I can't let go 

But I have to say good bye 

Tuesday, August 9, 2016


I'm standing in the rain 
I'm not the midnight train 
Waiting at the station 
Coming and going 


Do you see me here 
Wait with me 
Traveling alone 

Never asking me where I'm going 
My suit case full 

Am I not the beauty 
As you cast your stone 

My heart beating on broken tracks 
And gone 

A leather cliche 
I'm more than fascinated 

But you can't read this can you 
Or your suitcase would be ready 

I'm more than this 
I'm a kiss 

Not just good bye 

Monday, August 8, 2016

The Fall

I feel the leaves of you 
Wrestling under my skin 
It's always fall , in this place 

I sit in the warmth 
Watch trees changing shape 

I can't walk to winter 
Leaving you behind 

I hesitate in every moment 
Trying to find 

A smile in the silence 
Bringing you here 

I'm stepping on keys 
Black and white 
Can you still hear 

The scream of breaking me open 
The smell of home on your fingers 

I lie here now 
Leaves blowing in the wind 
Midnight of winter moving in 

I stay here quiet and alone 
Hoping you will meet me here 

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Kalidescope Letter

I see you from the corner of my eye 
I'm displaced in this shadow 
I'm choking on reason 
Living on memory 

Tell me 
Marry me 
Marry me 

As broken fingers get ready for the fall 

Tell me 
Stay with me 
Stay with me 

I don't regret this at all 
I can fight in these songs 

My insides 
Where you live 
You are my blood 
Coursing through this heart 

There is nothing 
To bring you back 

I stand here in the rain 
Singing you songs 

It's cold 
I miss your warm 

It's the death of me 
And I'm ok 

Tell me 
Speak to me 
Speak to me 

I hear you from a thousand miles 
I write in the sand 
Falling from hour glass 
Every moment alone 

There not you 
Thank you 

Broken fingers holding on 

Tell me 
You loved me 
You loved me 

I'm in the rain 
No regret 

Friday, July 29, 2016


There was a moment 
Swallowed in blankets 
Fighting an ocean of tears 
Listening to your words 
Slowly drowning me 

It was that night 
I fell apart 
When I needed you to be the one to fall 

Hand me a cigar 
I'll quietly miss you 
As I drive alone in my car 

If I could push rewind 
Could I change that night 
Maybe you just needed convincing 
I'm not hard to love 

Left with candles and stale cake 
What do I do with this 
I knew you were mine from beginning to end 

I'm no beggar 
When I write these letters 
I wanted you to stay 
Because you wanted too 

But I never fall 
But I did that night 
As you slammed the door 

Now I'm left 
Full of reminders 
Of what I'm looking for 

Tuesday, July 26, 2016


Can you be the shelter 
In my storms - 
Calmly sitting patiently 

I ask you 
Does the crow keep you warm 
Night shifts into a melody 
You hummm secretly 

And I begin to fade into the darkness 
How do I keep your light 

She wondered 

Sunday, July 24, 2016


Clean my eyes 
Coveting the picture frame 
Empty glass 

Burning in my fingers 
Bruising my neck 

I lost sleep 
A vacuum of what I used to be 
Confined in this place 

I feel you waking 
Lost and sleeping 

Invisible i am 
Stitched in time 
Metal lense blinds you 

I am black leather handcuffs 
Batting eye lash in temporary libraries 

Filed and put away 

Feel me in the morning 
Under blankets wet 

Picture frames broken 
You wouldn't ever know 
She's a mess 

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Blue Prints

Frames sit steady on the shore 
Empty spaces fill today 
Architect hands placed firmly 
Your eyes 

Reaching deep inside 
Held with so many regrets 
Pacing fast 
With one last breath 
Catch me if you can 

House sits 
Blue print hands 

I have the paper 
I have the pen 

Let me burn old pages 
Bonnie and Clyde she said 

Sunday, July 10, 2016


Come tell me how it goes 
The way stories never seem to end 
The way we write them in our heads 

They told me something different 
As a little girl 
I wore a white dress 
Did what I was told 

There's a hundred monsters 
I'm left lacking 
A hundred broken 

Am I breaking 
Or are you out spoken 
A cowards tale is un forgiven 

Like the monsters 
Hiding under my bed 
Below all the victories 
I stand with pride 

So tell me why 
I'm braver than the hero who saved me 

I sit here asking why 
Wondering what you ask yourself 
At night 

Friday, July 8, 2016


The record shatters against 
All I have faith in 
I don't believe she lies 

I toss medal jacks like marbles 
There's clouds dressing the sky 
Like an open wound 
Counting time 

What can I do . 

I'll run 
To re write but never be undone 
Like needle and the thread 
I won . In the moment 
I found my army 
When you held me 
The day I was a warrior 
Even when I transpired your ghost 

As I let go 
Faith prays 
For you to find me 
Counting clouds one by one 

Thursday, June 30, 2016


I was born the day you recognized me 
I woke in the glory 
Of the day 
When letters opened , finally read 
The sigh of relief finally met 
If I could say it any better 

Standing in arms 
From across the room 
From across the world 

It's where the cloud met the sky 
Never knew how things felt when they became right 

Like how that line went in the movie 
The last one in this song 

Tell me - 
As you walk in the woods alone 
Am I there folded and hiding there 
Somewhere in the crease of your 


In the letters finally read the day 
That day 

I hear the music still in every quiet room 
I feel your heart beating left in the quiet 
Of my ear 

I'm asking you 
To come home 

Because when your across the room 
Across the world 
Your near me 

Friday, June 24, 2016


There's a listen in your ear 
And an arrow in your blood 
I gut the belly of your compass 
I search hard 

I breathe every step 
I turn away and find 

Tell me as my movie reels 
Into focus new memory 
Keeps rewinding your iris so clearly 
A vision I see perfectly 
Gleaming into my intention 
Like brandy 
Drunk on your love 

I can't forget you 
I can't erase you 

Like your last letter 
Typed so perfect 

I climb every ladder 
That will take me farther 
But it just leads me closer 

How tell me 
How do you separate 

I am not a hopeless romantic 
I am not a writer 
I am not a martyr 
I am just here 
Trying not to remember 

The hero 
Who saved me 

So tell me 
How do you walk now 
With my arrow 
Coursing through your perfect heart 
As a reminder 
That I'm here waiting 

Trying to save myself 

Monday, June 20, 2016


Condolences sent to you 
To the faces that have turned there backs 
I walk the miles plenty 
For David fought Goliath 
And won 

I walk with my head high 
The rest left in picture frames black 
And white 

If you don't believe me 
It's not my job to do all the convincing 

My job isn't to empower the weak 
Moths love the light 
But yet darkness can't live in a lit room 
So please there is no offense 
In your walking away 
From me - 

My audience is the strength 
Of kings 

The hall ways haunt me of lost love
Waiting to come back 
Like Braille and lanterns 
Walking fingers and half hearts 
Wishing memories home 

And for those that we walk hand in hand
They are my home  

Monday, June 6, 2016


Grazing fingers on pages
Ends of letters that walk along 
Memories following like shadows 
And your remains like ashes 
Pushed into lockets 
Half for you 
Half for me 
I can write a chorus 
About how I hear you whispering still 
Some where in the city lights 

It makes for perfect conversation 
When I'm alone in my bed 

What happens when the chorus ends 
They say love last a life time 

I tried to catch you before the coming train 
I caught your eye as you drifted away 

Pages become history books 
Words become love letters 
And train stations become home 

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

U turns

Exit door lights up 
Seems like it's revolving 
I'm sitting at the other end wondering 
How explanations turn into thoughts 
Into written words 
Into blank messages 

Faith has me here 
In every window 
Every song 
Losing you best is trying 
To find you again 
Letting go 
Holding on 
All over again 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016


I wrote you a letter today 
Like a coloring book 
Inside and outside the lines I drew 
I crushed the paper a hundred times 
I couldn't quite get the message through 

I knew in your silence 
What you were going through 

The crayons are laying on the floor 
Music streams at midnight 
Not sure where the time went 
But I knew 

I'm left here crumbling paper 
Can't say I'm surprised 
Tried to catch you before midnight 
Before you hid your final good bye 
Under the mat where keys go that wer'e meant to find . 

You know what I mean don't you ?
You knew I had it figured from the beginning 
Should've stayed 
I'm the finish line you see 

Now I'm here left with paper 
With endings and new beginnings 

Friday, May 20, 2016


I write best when I'm not thinking 
Heart guides me best as I'm driving 
Whatever she tells me is the truth 
It's always the truth between you and me 

My voice is all I have 
You will only know me if your listening 
I love deeply but love rarely 
Love never comes easy 
Success only comes when you believe in yourself 
Believing is integrity 
I have a handful of friends but boy 
Do they mean everything 
And to them I'm everything 

They hear me . 

I'm 38 tomorrow 
This past year I've learned to listen to people from the inside 
Things are not black and white 

We live once take nothing for granted 
Let no one take you for granted 

And never let go of love . 

Because true love comes back . 
And most of all make everything count and never do anything you may regret 

Cheers to another year 

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Light Houses

Phones type out blank messages 
Neon lights fade into a sunset 
As I drive tonight 

Shadows pasted perfect to the music 
Never fading never staying 

The rocks seem more like empty waves 
I can't stand on a grave 

Sail the seas I say 
Anchors remind me of the light 
Broken on the hill - 

Searching for calm 
Finding only the storm 

I never wanted to be the hero 
Just didn't want to get lost amongst the waves 

The distance is fading faster 
As I read the news paper 

Bets are in 
All or nothing he said 
As I sail alone 
With ghost from home 

Friday, May 13, 2016


Contemplate finger prints 
Left on coffee tables 
I watch the crows spread there wings 
Leaving a winter behind 
I am the sunshine 

If you rinse the Braille I left on your heart 
Then friendships aren't made to last 

There's a foggy rainbow 
Telling you , your stories 

Sitting here alone 
With your brush strokes 
I can't remember what you said 
I'm just left with a picture 

Don't let it burn in my hands 
Contemplating finger prints 
Left on glass tables 

Afraid of the coming 
Afraid of the going 

I am the sun shine 
Left with this picture 
Left in your hands 

Thursday, May 12, 2016


Cast a shadow in the well 
Change falls from this pocket 
Wishes fall on empty stars 

Funerals line broken dreams 
With the courage to take a hand 
Sitting still - I'm gonna stand 

I hear you in the distance 
Voices lost on old pages 
Half written ,holding on to every letter 
That was never addressed . 

Lockets separate, 
Golden clasp 
I see you in the window 
Calling my name 

I can't reach you there 
You can't reach me  

Sunday, May 8, 2016


Leather panties crawl on the floor 
The devil smiles 
Red harmony typed out 
Calculated hunt , 

Guns drawn at the silver gate 
Betting is it heaven or hell 
Whisper my name 
As I scream 

Love dies in black rose lenses 
Reborn at midnight 
When we have fallen 

Take place 
At the starting line 
Return to my bed 
Can't imagine you out of my head 

Gun re loaded 
Tell me again 
I'm what you always needed 
Like a cigarette
Like a needle dripping heroine 

Thursday, May 5, 2016


I drive through empty tunnels 
Wind passes through broken spaces 
A hundred hands grab my fingers 

I turn the music up 
Sing the last song I can remember 
The review mirror stays the same 
Funny the way things change 

Funny the way they stay the same 
A hundred hands slipping through 
None holding me 

The miles begin to look the same 
On this drive tonight 

If the Braille was written on your wall 
Could you read it 

And I pass through a crowded room 
Looking for you 
Do you see me 
Fingers touching 

Wednesday, May 4, 2016


Telegraphs written gone unread 
A Lonley love song lost in smoke 
A conversation between two now one 
Tell me how does the story end 
You said you figured it best 

I figured I'd wait a little longer 
Little girls always have dreams of castles 
And you were the hero 
If I say good bye today 
If I put a stamp on this letter 

Would I fold your cape and put it away for later 
I sit now in our sunset 
Folding envelope 
Tired of all the nights alone 
Maybe love never dies 

But I can't fight alone . 
So I walk down the path 
The numbers on the house they fall 
One by one 
Eyes black - tears fall 
But you figured it best 
As I drop this letter in the mail 

I'm guessing 
There will be 
No answer 

Monday, May 2, 2016

Sure Things

I can't do it 
I draw words out 
Like spilled paint 
That never dries 
It is you standing there at the edge of every breath I take 
I fight every moment 
But you are there - 
Knocking on every door - 

I look to the sky 
On every night drive 
The Stars guide me home 
Tell me not to forget in faith tonight 
I feel you at home inside my eyes 

Sitting looking out 
I know you want what's best for me 
But you were what made me best 
You see 

Concrete Footprints

Spine falls flat into open wounds 
I call out into the darkness 
Nothing speaking back to me 

Converse untied 
Cold winds and a lost regret 
I can't think of anything else 

I saw you last night 
In a dream 
I saw you in the song I heard on the radio 

Life is fleeting into faded heart beats 
Riding this dream alone 
You tell me to let you go 

Thursday, April 28, 2016

What's The Wall

Fall from heaven 
Ashes turn to wings 
Bridges burning in back grounds 
Just to realize pictures never meant a thing 
One brush with the best intentions 
Left me breathing 
As the door closes 
I open the window 
Climbing head first into the sunrise 

From the best night of my life 
I can't apologize he said 
I raise my hands 

I wake up to another tomorrow 
Tell me the secret as I fly 
Will you fall with me 
As ashes turn to wings 
One more memory painted in graffiti 
Burning buildings 

The news comes 
Love is like a bag of marbles 
Falling fast 
Tell me 
If you close the door 
I'll open the windows 
Head first to the sun rise 

Monday, April 25, 2016


I collect your pictures 
As they fall to the floor 
Like black eyes drawn to sky 
Wondering about the last night 

There's a huge answer 
With question 
How do I go on - 

There's a building 
Tearing it down 
There's a light 
In the tunnel I chase you in 
Shadows left behind 
Sit with me in the moment 
Meet me here in the memory 
When everything was perfect 
No care - 

Now there's no answer 
Tell me how 
With the whisper of good byes 
Left on parchment paper 
Hoping this pen will run out 

But love it never dies 
It lives on 
Ever searching for your light 
Finding shadows instead 

Sunday, April 24, 2016


Impossibility the moon whispers 
For even the star can't live away from 
Her sun 

Impossible the way 
She runs . 
I press up against a glass wall 
If I could scream aloud 
Fogg up your sky 
Re trace your memory 
To my kiss 
I would try harder not to ever lose you - 
Bubble gum kiss on your lips 
How does it 

A boat float 
With out her ocean 
And I guess she just will 

Friday, April 22, 2016

Post War

Collect the stars in rusted necklace 
That's alright 
Carry you around my neck 
That's alright 
Dust the memory off broken dreams 
That's alright 
Find you in the eyes of songs 
That's alright 
Wait for you to come home 
That's alright 
Try to forget you 
That's alright 
Remembering  you 
That's alright too 

Sunday, April 17, 2016


Years erode into paths 
A wrinkled soul hides well to beautiful smile 
Shake my hand years of scars 
Hidden wisdom 
Leaning on bookshelves in the dark 

Travel in silence 
Hear the crowds 
Love absent 
Full of faith 

Miles part 
The only difference now 
Is the ones who chose to hold my hands 
Follow through or fall away - 

There for the memory 
To take my breath away 
Lean on my library 
Open my page 

Courage and faith 

Thursday, April 14, 2016


Stained memory 
Filtered high , breathing you in
Holding it in tight 
Black widow flight 
Dangling for the devil 
Grinning from my chin 

Tell me why your hell feels like heaven 
I have this glass of whiskey 
You say I'm not fine wine 
Your right - 

I'll tell you darling 
If you come closer 
You will find 
I'm the poison in your veins 
Runs long past tonight 
A heroin you can't fight 

So I whisper in your ear 
When your alone at night 

Saturday, April 9, 2016


There's the great unknown 
I hold the finish line 
The race we run unjust I know 

Tell me what it takes to bring you home 
Miles of broken road 
Bending dreams conform 
And I am ready to give up 
To give in 

I look in the window
See your reflection 
I tell myself one more day 
I tell myself no more 
Then I'm reminded 
Your my guardian angel 

And I know this road you travel 
I don't know the words to write 
To bring you back 
But I tell myself to give up 
As I sit in the window and stare 

Just one more day 
One more day 
She says 

Thursday, April 7, 2016


Pray for tomorrow but for today , all I want is to be home . Stand in the mirror you look the same just looking for shelter cold and the pain someone to cover safe from the rain , all I want is to be home . 
- foo fighters 

Fear of my heart absence of faith . 
Empty glass 
Eyes full of grace 
I can't change tonight 
But I can promise you will be safe 

There's an open road 
Bent miles of pain 
Stolen from the wreckage 
I know loss I know gains 

Let me fill your glass 
I'll be your whisky tonight 
Best intention you've had all your life 

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Rabbit Holes

Lipstick stained pillows 
Hold steady conversations 
Between broken walls and rusted hearts 
No resolution 
Searching dark iris 
In comfortable position 
I get lost in you 
But only for a moment 

If I stay to long 
I fear I won't escape the beauty 
And the beast of you 

So I'll sleep in your shadow tonight 
And rest in your tomorrow 

Lipstick smeared kiss 
Cotton panties 
Spilled on the floor 
Hand cuff caress
For another 
To rest 
In you 

Wednesday, March 30, 2016


Can ghost's be Heros 
Up piano keys her thoughts run
Like his eyes did inside her 
She holds on now to the edges 
Where he left her 
As he watches 
Will he save her 
In time 

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

The Way Home

Show me the way back 
Where broken windows 
Become stained glasses 
Where shot glass whiskey memories 
Become the future 
And a kiss good bye 
Becomes hello again 

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Against The Light

With the last sail lifted high I'm ready now - yellow card 

The hand rest alone 
Heart paces in a cage 
There's a wolf at the door 
He paces - 

I roll the dice 
And contemplate 
Envite him in 
He can't stay 

I can't breathe 
I'm the wolf too 
I'm lost 
In losing you 
With one hand 
Heart paces 
In its cage 
The violins play 
Nothing's the same with out you 

Wednesday, March 23, 2016


I can't feel with out you 
I can't live with out your 
Heart beating 
Feel the way the tide breaks 
Us apart - 
Like a funeral 
Like the way our eyes met 
The way the sun set 
I held your hand 
Fingers printed 
Like sand never parting 
One - 

As we sift through this hour glass 
Nothing hurts like this 
How can you part 
One . 

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Red Baron

The trouble is counterfeit 
It's all the same 
Left and right 
Counted and found wanting 

Like stale conversation 
Boring plane rides 
I see your Braille 
When you think your hiding well - 

Then there was you 
Soaring higher 
Behind the mask 
It was you all along 
I was never 
Never invisable 
You were a hero

Now I'm left with empty pages 
Waiting for someone to read my story again 
Turning these pages 
The music plays 
Can you hear her 
Tell me can you hear her 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016


Climbing through my window pane 
The sky is dark with memory 
Fleeting into the wings of crows 
Scattered like black marbles 
No direction 
No which way to go - 

We painted a sign 
They couldn't read it could they 

I'm here calming the storm 
But the crowd is getting heavy 
As my eyes 
Waiting for something that has left 

What can she do 
Stethoscope engraved on your sleeves 

A sign only I can read 
A song only you could hear . 

But there's nothing 

Tuesday, February 23, 2016


Feel my heart stop I lift my eyes 
I can't choose when to love 
Or who I am a part of - yellow card 

Deserted dreams 
Are like a dead army 
At war . 

Marching with empty guns 
There's a place I hide 
A grave where I still find us there 

Much alive 

I'm fighting at the edge of a storm 
Nothing is left but my heart 
With weapons down 

I'm screaming 
Can you hear me ? 
I'll fight here in this place 

Hearts cut into pieces 
I blow there ashes 
Falling sand through 
Your broken fingers 

There's a place I hide 
A grave where I still find us their 
Much alive 

I'm here in the rain 
Calling out 
Can you hear me ? 

Saturday, February 20, 2016


The quiet things that no one ever knows - The Brand New 

I started a revolution 
In your eyes , I traveled through the room 
In your arms I fell to my death 

I'm the spine holding the broken back 
I'm the Vengence 
Tearing away your clothes 

There's a whisper in the audience 
Can you hear my name 

I'm the rain
I'm your heart
Feel me beating 

Monday, February 15, 2016


Locks and a safe hanging behind
 favorite paintings
Over fireplaces where I sit and contemplate
Everything we can't remember
And the one thing we can .

I'll sit in your chair you see
Smoke your cigar
There is nothing like me
I'll get in your safe
Beyond the maze
With out you recognizing my face

But you will never mind I'm there
Your paintings a cold museum
Perfect ,

I'm a perfect mess .

I read your Braille the moment
We shook hands .

Now you walk the halls of my museum

I ask you

Do you need a cigarette

Wednesday, February 10, 2016


There's a terrible sadness in the air
Pick me up in your shelter
You told me it's cold inside

But I'm out here in the rain -

There's a fire
I course through your veins

Let her break your sky

The Stars cry
Save me like you did yesterday
Save me like I saved you

You say it's cold outside
But I'm out in the rain

Hear the wolves
Coming closer ?

I know you remember me
I have a fire
It runs through your veins

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Goal Post

I reposted from my Agent Orange blog . I want to redirect some of my poetry traffic to my other blog
It's meant to inspire and help reach goals .

Please go to my blog profile and you will find agent orange blog . Thank you .

Foo fighters - ever long is a great song , My friend Phil got me listening to it now it's my turn to get you to listen to it . And as it streams through my head phones I will write today's blog -

I started this blog a year and half ago . I wanted it to encourage others in hope and in love . Sometimes I read back and I encourage myself on the days I forget how strong I am . 

The one thing I always say to any one is keep your integrity and be you . When friends ask for advice I tell them the same. Sometimes in life we get hurt or others will hurt us . But as long as you can look in the mirror and say I have integrity and I'm being true to myself your doing ok . 

Secondly focus on the goals at hand . I have set goals I write them down and crush them . Maybe there are a few I got close that's ok too . You keep pushing keep making new goals . 

Sometimes the higher you get the more heat you get . People don't like to see others accomplishing anything . It doesn't matter how nice you are , or who you are , you can't please the masses . 

Keep your focus on the finish line . You can't win watching the side lines . 

Thirdly - to your friends and enemies give love . This is called character . I mean your going to win right ? All that matters is who's at the end cheering you on . 

It's rough I know . Don't lose your joy , sometimes I do , but I'm reminded God is there , friends are there , and look to some of the great people on your journey 

Never give up !! Follow the rules 

-agent orange 

Friday, February 5, 2016

Game Of Risks

" And you asked me to open up my walls to all of this , but I tried , with fingers broken ," - Scope Of All This Rebuilding

I pause in the storm
The silence is screaming
I break for you -

This is how the story goes

Written in between the lines of these pages

Yet all they want is between half past 11 and midnight

There's something to be said about a story unread

Maybe she's missing some pages ........

Some say there's love

I say there's fairy tales

I say fuck

Maybe I broke this type writer
Maybe I'm invisible

He writes at midnight
He says I'm beautiful
I say he's beautiful

What's your story

We both have our walls he says

Fingers bleeding
It's cold outside
I'll let you in

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Alice and the Cat

There's a rain coat rusted and red
I stare at it hiding in the corner
I watch the sun rising through small rain drops

I remember the way your smile changed my eyes
There's a song playing in the distance
I hear you humming from across the ocean

You whisper -
Alice I have not forgotten -

I contemplate the red jacket
As I toss back whisky and regrets
Make me big again
She says ,
To the cat -

Alice was always brave - he said .
But I could argue that .

So here she goes , the cold sets in
And you dare me to pick my sword up again

Because love lives even when love dies -

And that's what you always taught me -

Never giving up -

Tuesday, February 2, 2016


I took a pill this morning
Slip away they say
Make me forget I tell myself
In a mirror -

I forget what love is
Until I see your picture
Then I forget why I'm dead

I cut my day around lost smiles
Take a pill in the pm

Smile fades in the day
The phone rings its him
My emails empty though

I remember you saved me first

Tuesday, January 26, 2016


View from the roof top of your iris
Seems clouded .....
I sit and conversate with your demons
They can't hear me right .

I'm screaming at the gate .
I watch you holding hands
With a ghost

I hold hands with the past

I carry this letter
I can't find the author
Signed by you

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Panic Room

Funny how a familiar smile becomes forgotten
And a laugh that once saved you
Is lost like a stranger -
On a crowded street in New York -

I fancy the way blankets and fingers crossed us
On Mondays

Or the way the city lights hummed as we drove
On Tuesdays

It's Friday now - and we can't spell our names
I love you / written on a steamed bathroom mirror

Lost when you opened the door to say good bye

It's not supposed to end that way ,

It's not supposed to begin that way either

Sunday, January 17, 2016


Collateral she says 
Button missing 
Fix me please ? 
I'm not the one she says ..... 

He pleads his case - 
I shake my head 

I'm left here alone 
With graffiti on my walls 
Doesn't quite keep her warm 

Phone is ringing 
"What's the harm , "he says 

"Of course ," he says 

As she waits alone - 

The thing is 
He won't even read this letter 
He's not even brave enough to save me 
Not even brave enough to save himself 

Tuesday, January 5, 2016


I'm not sure why 
She said 
The phone went dead and suddenly 
So suddenly the connection was lost - 

I went over the story 
About the boy 

Doesn't matter does it ? 
How many times we cry ? 

I watch the airplanes fall from the sky 
I hold his picture every night 
But darling 
No ones left holding 
On the phone 

Gambling your last penny 
Drinking your last shot at the bar 
Betting your last smile 
Of this memory 

I'm telling you don't look back 
The cost is left in the wonder 
Your value a broken mirror 

Paid in full with his debts 

So let me tell you about a boy 
The phone went dead suddenly 
So suddenly 

Sunday, January 3, 2016


If It was about the value of this penny 
All the change in your pocket wouldn't do

It's not about me , it was always about what they saw in you - 

I walked around with out a mirror for so long , passing strangers , face planted in the ground 
Back faced into the crowd 


But it was you 
The one you couldn't face 
All along - 

It was your weight I carried 
On the shelf 

I toss the penny in the well 
Staring eye to eye now in the crowd 

Sometimes me 
Sometimes them 

A pocket of change 
Your regret 

Friday, January 1, 2016


There's a candle
Half lit 
Ashes breaking in winters Sky 

I put my puffy red lips together 
Blow you a kiss - 
I'm rummaging through band aids 
And blankets - 
How does she hold you 
How does she mend you 
It's all the same dear ...... 

Come sit with me 
Snow flakes falling 
Not one ever the same 

I'll take you for a ride tonight 
Make you believe everything's all right 
To bring you back to life again - 

The wax has become cold 
I search for you under the snow 
I wish I could 
I wish I could 

Change nightmares to dreams