Friday, October 31, 2014


The cold stains her fingers as she holds what's left of her heart
Sleeping under the stars captured in a necklace dangling in the snow

What she has left of wishes is fading in the cold winter
As she patches the broken mirror together she sees his reflection ....

Yet she can't reach him .

Saturday, October 25, 2014

The Crown

Blue stains the walls of her eyes 
Never leaving imprinted iris , a blooming heart photographing fingerprints on fragile soul stitched together 

Like shadows and untouched puzzles never knowing the picture only loving the color and the time spent together building kolidiscopes and sky scrapers 

May I write a fairy tale , where you rescue me ? 

The man in the puzzle is you and the girl you ask for is me , and you find that missing peice on the floor , 

And there you are looking back at me .

Friday, October 24, 2014

A dear diary

It's Friday night , there are two days left to leaving Audi . It's very emotional . For reasons that I'm saying good bye to much more than my job . I cried all the way home tonight . I don't do very many "dear diaries ". 

Transition - means : you see friends rise and you see friends fall . Also I feel him near me , I wish he would just write , but that's another story . 

There has been tremendous love and pain this year . The most extreme of both and so here I am alone on Friday night writing to all of you . I have made huge changes and I'm proud of myself . I don't feel them yet , but I've made them . I feel the hard part of change , but I know soon the reward will soon come . I have to be positive . Thank you to all my loved ones the ones who are here and proved to stand by my side ... Until next time 


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Comings and Goings

History goes black 
ink spilled in elementary notes and unused grammar of I love you , destined for hearts asleep on pillows that could never imagine the tears that fall for you , 

On lined notebook scribbles , waiting at the store , empty inbox, filled to the brim is four chambers of your smile and everything I could give , 

Of your beauty , the beauty of your flaws, your home was in me , if I captured a moment , I would take one last picture to hold your smile again . 

There's no other love . as this pen runs dry 

Love Song

I'll never get used to losing you

Sunday, October 19, 2014

The Wake

I play  in the snow , keys stained by broken souls fallen on black and white porcelain ashes , foot steps crowd an empty dream as I wipe rusted drawn eyes 

It's left here in print with no proof of existence as the snow falls my brass buttons freeze , pink lips open in disbelief 

In the memory of this funeral procession
Of the final moment when I stood eye to eye  in front of you searching every moment 
To find one to grasp your heart so you would stay 
But you looked into my eyes
Then you looked away 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014


There's a cost to sitting out the war
Nothing gained , losing everything with out ever holding on 
Regret echos the empty drive and the smell of  rotting defeat as the glass sits empty 
For another night left to rusted chairs sitting in a cold bar 
Speaking so clearly , and it's to late 
Waisted gains 

To return tomorrow knowing you will come home wanting 

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Letting Go

It's that corner in the day , you live
I sit with you still , where I used to hold your hand 
Now I'm grasping your fingers 
Letting go is all of me , I'm screaming and begging for your ghost not to go 
A shadow of what remains , a vision that steals my soul , 

With you it was  real , I have to stop looking in your direction . Your not coming around and I know , 

The tears fall , as many as the miles you rest your head away and I can't , I sit here in the corner of the day , searching for your eyes , to tell me it will be all right 
Down to hands and fingers  , I look down and cry . 

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Passing

Grace takes my hand , another dawn follows me in her sleep 
Still he is not here and the days remain hollow 
The light stands still at the end of the tunnel and all I have is fate and faith 
And a little girls dreams I hold onto with notes crumpled and old . 

I keep them in a safe box beneath my lungs locked away . Waiting for eternity's hoping for his return 

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Maybe another day

Negative space compiles over Picasso's best canvas torn down in a rage 
I converge to the road I drive aimless 
There's your eyes I center my gravity 
Nothing is everything lost now in broken days 
I wait at the door and nothing 
Faith sleeps with her mask on and I'm pounding down her door . Is anyone listening ?
I carry you in my smile , in the song and in every peice I give away and hold on to 
I can't seem to move . I can't seem to breathe you see . 
You are the lungs I used under the ocean 
The heart I used to find joy 
There is nothing apart from my day with out you 
As I let go I hold on , as I wait a little longer