Friday, June 9, 2017

Bruises

What would I have to do
For you to see me
If I stood in front of the sun ?

If you pulled out from in front of your mirror
Burned some old pages In your library
That collect dust
Collect sadness and stories of anger

I'm not the librarian
With wire rimmed lense
Filing away this -

And all of this
Drowns me

I'm no victim
You have to meet me on the shore
But darling you ain't walking on water

So let's start this again
These books are over due -

I'm not a librarian
I'm a lover
I'm a fighter

What does it take for you to see me
I'm not you
I'm not her
I'm not yesterday

I don't know what love is

Could you
Write me the story

Give an orphan a home

Cuz you ain't
Walking on water

I'm here on the shore
With our fire

Do you love her ?

As she stands in front of the sun
Screaming your name

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Lights On

Tell me a hundred secrets that make you the path I climb on
Push me out this door
I'll come back through your window

I'm not sure about the beginnings
But I know I'll erase - this ending
What are endings for -

All these whispers in the dark
Can I hold your fingers
Steady off the ledge

Can I hold your wrist
Broken from the fall

I'm just time
Inside this clock
Ticking quietly inside your heart

Did you need me here
Do you want me here

I'm looking for a hero
The kind that watches for me - through this window

Can't let me go
Won't let me go

It's how the song goes
It's how we go .

I'm leaving the lights on
And I don't know about the beginnings

But the ends I'm erasing
Like old shoe laces
Old songs on the radio

If you push me
I'll climb back in

If you push me
I'll climb back in

To find your here
Give me your hands

- Amy Everett

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

The Real Fight

It's 9 a.m. I'm at work , it's hard to concentrate today . Worst of all I can't find my head phones so my life is falling apart . ( not entirely ) I have been lost the past few days . Yesterday I broke down and cried in my car . I wasn't sure why , then it hit me . Like some realization from the sky hit my heart and there it was . For 3 months I have felt numb and confused . When we people let you down the ones you trusted the most , I learned to except it and move on . I didn't realize it was causing me to be callused . Maybe I let it go , yes . But the disappointment harbors fear . I couldn't feel much of anything . I have a new person in my life giving me tons of love , and I could see it like looking out a window . But I can't feel it . How do I take it in ? When your lost in everything that has destroyed you

How do I shake it ? I asked myself for months . I wanted to give up , not on him , but myself . What does someone do with pain ? I wanted to hand my heart over to him , in my hand and say please take it ! Just take it ! But would he break it even farther to the nothing that had been left on the ground ?

Someone else can't fix that . Yesterday I sat in my car and it hit me . I began to grieve all the beliefs that led me there to that moment . It's a journey isn't it ? Fighting to not be numb . I remember a time I fought to not feel at all . But I want to feel everything he has to give me , not the pain that paralyzes me from giving my heart again.

I need to brave I told myself . Give myself the chance to live . I've been an orphan to love . And it's time I found a home .

My home in you

Agent Orange

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Perfect

Yesterday's ashes fall from the sky over head
A shadow looms over my path
Like a broken forest fragmented into stained glass
The crows wait on their branches

I'm just one girl
Who will make it

There's a heart broken
Around my neck

Grasping at the other half

What is it to live a dying day
The finish line in my hands

I'm stronger than the wolves who wait in the dark

I'm just a girl
Dark eyes , funny lips

Even though there's darkness
I'm the light

A small frame in the alley
Holding the keys
The dreams I never let go of

There's a broken heart around my neck
I'm grasping at the other half

Tell me what all this means
My converse are tired
But I'm never weak

I'm almost done
As the ash settles on lashes
Over spent all the miles -

They don't want me to see the beauty
Of what was always

Inside me .

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Apastrophe

The siren plays her music in the crowd
Like the last song for the day
The devil takes her hand
All hands on fate

She holds an Ace
Lipstick left on white spaces
Losing bets

It was all we had left she said
The raven waits in haste
Typing letters with no stamps
Who could've saved her , he says .

The sky begins to rust my pockets
Notes turn to ashes
Eyes become darkness .

Let it go , she says .
Shot glass empty

I wake up
Alice is listening to the doors opening
Doors closing

Where will she go next
As the devil whispers

Love is not dead
He said

So I decided to remove my mask -

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Today's Relationships

So here I am , it's been a very long time since I've written a blog post .The Used is playing Poetic Justice. I'm laying in bed , I haven't slept in a week . My throat is killing me . This month has been such a roller coaster I think I'm just throwing myself in and out of things and I'm so lost at everything I once knew has become not . So where do we begin . I think when it comes to relationships , even though every one is different , I'm not guessing any more . So this is my advice to all of you . If they don't tell you how they feel , assume they don't feel it . I used to think actions meant more than words, my second part of advice is you better get both .  When someone wants something there isn't an excuse of why they can't get it or won't . When you want something you will do whatever it takes to get it and furthermore not lose it .  If your dating someone and their chasing other girls , how serious are they about getting to know you ? If someone loves you but isn't there for you , what good is that love . I've had it with cowards I'll tell you this . Do not settle . If your chasing something that's not chasing you , then walk away .

Life is short .

Agent Orange

Thursday, May 4, 2017

The Way To Run

There's a light I chase 
Some where beyond this song 
Half past fates secrets 
I hear them alone in the dark

Chase me after dark 
I'll save you from the winter 
Hold me close don't let me fall 
I'll chase away your anger 
Better now than ever 
Standing in the middle of this war

Never ever leaving this place - 
My hand is holding out 
Holding out for yours

I'm running through the forest 
No direction 
But I know you'll save me

I'm here 
To save you from the disregard of every yesterday - 

I hide in your safe . 
Like this perfect holiday . 

All I ever wanted you to know 
Is your my favorite song 
My favorite t shirt the one I always wore 
The one you never throw away 
Tattered and stained 

We are

My hand is out 
Waiting for yours . 

Chase me 
There is no winter here 
Hold me close 
I'll exchange sadness for joy 
Your my favorite song 
My favorite day 
I knew it 
All 
Along . 
Never thrown away . 



Sent from my iPhone