Thursday, May 18, 2017


The siren plays her music in the crowd
Like the last song for the day
The devil takes her hand
All hands on fate

She holds an Ace
Lipstick left on white spaces
Losing bets

It was all we had left she said
The raven waits in haste
Typing letters with no stamps
Who could've saved her , he says .

The sky begins to rust my pockets
Notes turn to ashes
Eyes become darkness .

Let it go , she says .
Shot glass empty

I wake up
Alice is listening to the doors opening
Doors closing

Where will she go next
As the devil whispers

Love is not dead
He said

So I decided to remove my mask -

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Today's Relationships

So here I am , it's been a very long time since I've written a blog post .The Used is playing Poetic Justice. I'm laying in bed , I haven't slept in a week . My throat is killing me . This month has been such a roller coaster I think I'm just throwing myself in and out of things and I'm so lost at everything I once knew has become not . So where do we begin . I think when it comes to relationships , even though every one is different , I'm not guessing any more . So this is my advice to all of you . If they don't tell you how they feel , assume they don't feel it . I used to think actions meant more than words, my second part of advice is you better get both .  When someone wants something there isn't an excuse of why they can't get it or won't . When you want something you will do whatever it takes to get it and furthermore not lose it .  If your dating someone and their chasing other girls , how serious are they about getting to know you ? If someone loves you but isn't there for you , what good is that love . I've had it with cowards I'll tell you this . Do not settle . If your chasing something that's not chasing you , then walk away .

Life is short .

Agent Orange

Thursday, May 4, 2017

The Way To Run

There's a light I chase 
Some where beyond this song 
Half past fates secrets 
I hear them alone in the dark

Chase me after dark 
I'll save you from the winter 
Hold me close don't let me fall 
I'll chase away your anger 
Better now than ever 
Standing in the middle of this war

Never ever leaving this place - 
My hand is holding out 
Holding out for yours

I'm running through the forest 
No direction 
But I know you'll save me

I'm here 
To save you from the disregard of every yesterday - 

I hide in your safe . 
Like this perfect holiday . 

All I ever wanted you to know 
Is your my favorite song 
My favorite t shirt the one I always wore 
The one you never throw away 
Tattered and stained 

We are

My hand is out 
Waiting for yours . 

Chase me 
There is no winter here 
Hold me close 
I'll exchange sadness for joy 
Your my favorite song 
My favorite day 
I knew it 
Along . 
Never thrown away . 

Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, April 23, 2017


I'm writing now on the sky 
Where I used to place all my dreams and bet on fate 
Now I'm tracing in the clouds ...... 

Under my arm I've always carried this note 
I thought maybe you wouldn't come 
And I knew you would 

So I left it in my pocket every word growing old 
Never losing it's meaning 

Every day I laid awake broken 
While you were away 
Nothing's ever the same 
As I carve  you out of my day 
Fall asleep to memories at night 

Now I see you here 
Right across the room 
I'm handing you this note 
I held on to for so long 

And I died with out 
I was lost with out 
Roaming around in the crowds 

I'm writing in this sky
Where I used to dream 

I carved out today 
I knew in every moment I lost 
I knew in every moment I died 

That you would find me here 
You would find me here 

Now I'm safe 
Now I'm hand tied 
It's ok 
It's ok 

Old letters 
Still have meaning 

Just like yesterday

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Where All The Boys Went

It's Saturday I'm listening to The Brand New . I haven't written on Agent Orange in a while . It's 8:30 pm . I'm documenting this Saturday night to tell you I thought I had all the answers , maybe I do , maybe I'm not listening . 

This is how I see it , if someone see's your value , they won't risk losing you in their life . Is it that simple ? Is their a grey area ? To me at 38 I don't care about the grey area , I will tell you why , 
Because I know my value , I give 100% maybe I'm not perfect . I'm not . But what I do know is if I see value in you , you will get my 100% and boy that doesn't come easy to give . 

So if you want to be a coward , lost , confused , or whatever else my old collection of black and white cards of horrible friends , lost boyfriends who never wanted to show up and be something different , then here is the door . Because I gave you my all . 

If you want my all , then give me what I'm worth . Because being taken for granted is not on a goal list , not on my dream card , and neither is sitting here writing this . 

Someday I'll get what I'm looking for , maybe some one can step up to the plate , because they know , I do the same 

Wednesday, March 29, 2017


What is it to love a girl
Dressed in candy compromise
Holding my dress up
Can they see my face
Amoungst the crowd
Invisible  to him left like a broken
Child .

They said Anastasia was really a princess
As I look for the trains tracks
If I could get lost
I would get lost in you -

If I showed you my pages
Would you read them
Like your favorite ice cream
Sticky hands

Washes her away
What is it to love a girl
If I presented my funny shaped lips
If gave you paper cut heart

Lived life never knowing
What it's like
To be loved
By you

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Crossing Fingers

I'm chalkboard half erased on this wall
It's me or them
It's you or this game of
Hopscotch and I'm never the win

Cross my fingers
Watch the ocean dress in the morning
I send you a note
Will you check maybe .

Is this the question
As I leave these sentences
One kiss under this tree
Carved out letters for you and me

My converse are always untied
My words are a mess
My lips puffy and red .

Here is my hand .

I'm not quick sand
I watch the fate undress in the evening
Will you kiss me good night

And I'll pass you a note
Say good bye

Half erased chalk
On your drive way
Unread letters , take my hand

It's all I ever heard
It's all I ever wanted

It's midnight now
I'm alone in my bed

Singing you this song
As you sit in your room
Can you hear it