Friday, December 9, 2016

Here We Go

It's 12 am . You think by now this would become a walk in the park , some. Tragic error I'm used to , the same old drill over and over . But as I watch my heart monitor once again go from 74 to 110 I know what's coming . Epilepsy sucks . I take my heart medicine it's not working . And im stuck wondering will I end up in the hospital tonight ? I don't want sympathy , it wouldn't even do epilepsy any good . Your alone in it . When it happens a fear strikes you , that can't be controlled . Will I die tonight ? Is all I will imagine . No one knows what it's like to feel that way unless you've almost died,that's the only way I can explain what a seuzure is like . No cure . I only have mine at night . My data I try to fill with joy because my nights are full of terror . Maybe I'll get some sleep . Maybe I should blog more about epilepsy . So more people become aware .

Saturday, December 3, 2016


Slip my fingers past my agony
There's white cotton caution tape
And I'm breathing you in my dreams .......

Grab my neck
Soldiers are marching in the desert
The devil dances on my shoulder
I walk the streets with the stars

I leave you here
I leave you there ......

I'm all grown up
My lip sticks red
Follow all the rules
Forget about love they said .....

Meet the pretty rich boys at midnight
Let them use you up and spit you out instead .....

Kneeling on the ground
Soldiers fighting at half past 1
Faith calls your name

Life hurts you said
But we chose who hurts us
And my decision was made

Alone in my bed
He's all grown up
Love is in a box
Red lip stick on

Sunday, November 20, 2016


It's deafening here
I hear your message clear
Static builds in lines empty
I color in old books of hearts and initials
Crumbled and lost beneath a bed

So I manage to take the train
Another way
Another day

I walk boldly away
But I'm lying if I didn't say
My heart at the station is where it stays

A friend once told me
You can't quiet mad love
So instead it's scattered in ryhmns
In letters

I can go
You say please let go

It's like breaking gold .
So here I go

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Twin Flame Love

Twin flame love exist. If you do not know what it is or understand it you may not have found it yet. Twin flame love is spiritual. It's not on a physical level. It is rare, you will feel like you know everything about them when you meet them, you will know when you see them, you will hear them when they are not there. Look up twin flame meeting, I have met mine have you ?

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Waiting Between

The farther I go 
The closer i come back to you 
Like a broken compass 
It's arrow always pointing 
Always suggesting 
But never doubting . 

I find myself searching 
Lost sometimes . 
Never when I come to terms with 
The arrow . 

I've never been so sure about anything in my life 
And every time I turn my back to say good bye 
Something tells me , no this way . 
How can I be so wrong ? 
I feel you in my soul . 
Am I wrong ? 

I watch the compass now alone 
Wondering if you watch it too 

Friday, October 28, 2016


Soldier grieves the war
Black rose lined the left side of her finger
Thorns absent - heart oxegyn.
Spilled into your lungs like paint
Hung in your living room mantel

I'm haunted by perfect love
Skeleton key - subsides under
Paint brush

I breathe .

Grieving soldier
I can fight alone
She can fight with out you here
The death of me , is life with out you
Marching on
Piano screaming in the dark
Forgotten .
Like the winter .

Thursday, October 20, 2016


It was leather and the fog followed her
Buckled under the loss even now
The coroner  asked her
Every decision is calculated
Even in decision

There's a message in your pocket
She held on to it all these years
Clutched on cold table
Withered , the man was curious

I searched the clock
It was empty , no numbers , no faces
I couldn't remember how the day went
How I got here

I put my hand on my chest
I asked for the answer
Clutching old paper
Everything's a message
The paper was blank
The coroner read it loud

The table was cold
Ravens black .