Sunday, August 5, 2018

When God Speaks

I was a great girlfriend . I wondered what I did wrong . I spent months trying to be as beautiful as possible for when he was better , I wanted him to be proud of me as I was proud of him . I thought of us like Carey Heart and Pink . The pretty couple who got through it all because of love . How on earth does someone fight for you so hard and then leave in a moment . I guess it happens all the time right . Husbands leave there wives , these things happen I guess . I never thought it would ever happen to us . As I climbed in my car on my lunch I heard our song he gave me Never let go . Fuck me . Today I sold 12k amazing when I felt like I been punched in the soul . I can’t be a victim anymore not that I was . It’s just I been waiting for him . Loyal to my love all this time because he asked me a million times to not let go . I believe in true love . I know it was real maybe it’s buried in his anger and confusion . God was right only God can reach him not me . I can love him with every ounce but it’s not my love he needs right now . 

The song shattered I listen to god said we reject his love when we’re broken . I rejected gods love without even knowing it because I was broken . My ex rejects mine to . That’s ok . I was there but I can’t wait anymore .  He let me go . It’s now in gods hands and actually always has been . 

God told me not to worry . I’ll work on forgiveness . Give this pain to god . As I cried in the car today I realized I needed to give this to god too . 

In pain and forgiveness we walk forward in Gods army . 

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