I lived the past year believing in one thing a love . To find out it was not real . I don’t have words who would ? I don’t think this kind of thing is logical . So all I can do is nothing . Take a long long break from writing and human existence it’s self . How will I ever trust anyone . I’m not even dating nor will I ever . But this ruins my faith in man kind . I learned to love for real from this person then I learned it was not real ? I can’t even think of a lesson I can learn from this . Except it’s his issues because no one in life loves and then does not so deeply . Love is a choice . If we chose to love someone because of the value and love they give it’s not just gone . Something is very wrong and something is a lie . My counselor told me tonight Satan is the author of confusion. . Not the lord . If god was involved we wouldn’t of had such a weird conversation .
So what do I do ? Nothing . Keep praying and moving forward . God is in control of my life every time I pray God shows up . Last night I cried and begged God for an answer on this situation I loved my ex so much I couldn’t take it any more .
God gave me my answer on a silver platter . I just keep thinking of the amazing movie I can only imagine and how it taught me that God can do any miracles .
What a life changer . But my life is in God’s hands . I deserve to be loved the way I love and be valued for all the love I have to give . God is so good in these storms . And nothing makes sense right now and I’m broken and I’m barely walking . But one foot in front of the other and pray for miracles and the will to forgive those who are lost and hurt us .
So I’m leaving my blog for 30 days to focus on healing .
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