It’s Sunday I feel mentally exahsted . Even though with God I know my future has a hope and purpose sometimes I still get sad . I’m independent I don’t need to date or have a boyfriend it’s just how I am . I would rather wait for the perfect person then any person but this is not my dilemma . The thing that worries me is half my life is over and I’ve never been proposed to never had a wedding or a honey moon and I’ve never had anyone truly love me . I’ve given myself to selfish people who walk on me and left me like I meant nothing after they promised the world . If I took a look in the mirror and asked myself how I wasted so many years and Gaines if I valued myself I wouodnt of stayed in one sided relationships . Me giving them taking . Them blaming me for there problems . I’m 40 and alone . I’m afraid to die with no one loving me at all . No one grabbing my neck and kissing my forehead for no reason or no one to make decisions with , no one to fight and make up with and no one taking the time to get to know who I am . I’m tired of people saying , well you have your kids because that’s just not the same .
This isn’t about needing to be with anyone it’s just about never being loved
I felt this years ago . I feel it now . I’m alone . It’s not the loneliness that bothers me it’s that no one knows me and no one loves me for it .
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