Ode To The Hiding

It’s Monday morning another day off . I’m so tired . I vowed to take a nap today . 12 hour shifts plus gym plus running plus stress = exahsted . I’m not lazy I just sit here thinking of everything I can be doing . My bulldog needs a bath , gym , pack food prep , it never ends . Just one nap , I deserve one nap . I got approved for my boob job I’m so happy about this if things go my way by Christmas I’ll be at a goal weight I’ve never hit before and have my boobs . I vowed this year will be my year , and it will be ! I’ve had the hardest year one can come by , but I proved to myself I am no victim I’m one bad ass bitch . No foot can hold me down . I’m working on all aspects of my life as well as healing and pouring my love into my self , my Childeren and God .


It’s been hard work , hard deep sorrowful and rewarding work that I know is an ongoing process but I feel good and even on my sad days I have peace . Only because of my relationship with God and trusting him with my future outcome and doing what is right by him .  I have peace . I don’t chase the world I chase God . And I will never be in relationship with anyone who is not the same .

But my focus right now is me healing . Through counseling and mentor ship I’m learning and growing . I’m 40 . I wanted to be married by now . Wake up to a love and have that life , but I need not to put a time line on my future I was told . This is hard . So I just take life day by day focus on my goals and pray . God is good .

I know myself I can’t take a nap ! Maybe I’ll write a poem and do house work . Today is arm day , my arms are not losing inches in 3 months !! Every other body part is . I train eveything the same so I think I may join boxing ?

Any way this is my Monday Diary . Have a great day !