Today I mailed his stuff back . In all honesty I could’ve thrown it away the way he threw us away . But my sweet Raigan said , “ mom do the right thing .” Even though she was upset to kids are more forgiving so I did it . I drove to the mail center in tears and mailed it . Larry an addict who I work with who is married but is so nice to me said / All he did was prove he cares about no one .
I think what deeply hurts me is throwing away all the promises and our future . But that person is gone . He is a facade of what I once knew a cold mask . All I know is it’s in God’s hands and I don’t know now how to heal . I’ve battled so many things in my life I’ve over come even rape . But not a thing like this .
I think no matter what I’ll carry this for the very rest of my life . It makes me sad . But there is nothing I can do about it . I’m just blessed it didn’t harden me or make me bitter I just became sad and shocked . It’s an evil world out there all we can do is pray for those who hurt us and pray God heals us all .
Today I ate banana cake as I cried . Today as I let him go I determined that it was ok .
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