Decisions

Today I drove to work , I heard Even Flow by Pearl Jam .  I turned it up and I thought about how angry I was . I thought about how my own reality of my current situation had to settle into acceptance
I was angry as it played out in my mind over and over , as my heart raced my prayer time over I thought how could I pour this into something effective . I knew I could so easily shut down completely forever . I could be that person the person who was so wounded and so angry there was no coming back . You just shut down and become something else . I’ve been that girl before . It led to a hard separation from God and drugs and bad decisions . So as I drove listening to Pearl Jam I decided to put my anger into competition , to get my sad depressed head out of my ass and sell again.
To go harder on my goals , and become even better .

This month I went from number one in sales to dead last . My sadness got the best of me . But not today . I decided this morning God showed me for a reason things and would not take away a good person . I’m not going to let a bad person who hurt me destroy me . I became the person on the Nike commercials and went down to biggest loser . I didn’t belong here for any reason

So today I sold 5 grand on a Wednesday I felt like I was back ! Maybe I’ll never be 100% but all I can do is fight .

Thank you
God .