Monday morning 9 am and I’m laying on my new bed and my new bedding I bought.It’s my day off and I’m exahsted. So mentally exahsted and physically exahsted I broke down in tears in the middle of work yesterday . They began to stream down my face as I told myself to stop - I said Amy your ok - Amy don’t be a pussy - Amy get a hold of yourself ! I’m used to always consistently being a top salesman the past few weeks I been subpar . My mental state is a mess . I’m better then this . I was hanging on a thread last night when my customer after an hour of helping them grabbed another sales associate they worked with prior.So now we had to split the sale . My mental state for needing sales my frustration and being tired just completely said it’s enough Amy . My eyes began to water . Me making money and doing well is my pride and my source of income . I had so many things falling apart at once it was like a perfect storm . I just looked up in my mind I prayed God help me .
I love my job . I love it so much but last night I couldn’t wait to get into my daughters arms and just go to bed . So here I am today drinking coffee and need to get ready for the gym.My body is sore and tired but I have to go .
I make notes to myself in my calander on my phone in the future that say : you did it Amy I know you did ! You hit your goals good job !!! I know you worked hard ! I know your feeling better .
My biggest note is on Christmas morning.Christmas being my favorite holiday ! I love the cold weather the smell of Christmas trees . But this year will mark the end of the roughest year yet . But I want to know I made it in every goal I ever had that I finished this year in spite of loss I gained myself and all my dreams . I’m closer to God then ever .
Christmas morning calander note :
Amy you did it ! You accomplished your goals ! Your healing and you worked hard I’m proud of you! You were brave this year and got through a war and came out better !!!
Today you can rest and have a cheat meal lol
Love me .
Don’t ever give up .
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