Threads

It’s 8:30 on a Friday night I’m off early because I’m in the top 3 of eveything in the store . I’m going to the gym . I try to survive my day and as I walk out the door I’m crying it’s called grieving . I ask myself why ? He never grieved me . That’s what breaks my heart makes me sick inside and logically makes no sense . You can’t love someone so deeply and not care and leave them and just forget them
I tell people the story they are speechless . To the normal world it’s cruel and senseless . I don’t know how to shake it off besides to tell myself this person never really cared . Get a hold of yourself Amy this is your reality . It seems like a bad movie a fucked up movie . But I remembered a similar time when someone put me through a horrible time like this it was my divorce. He was bipolar . People with personality disorders people who are lost with out God with out direction just hurt you . Because who with morals causes pain to those who love them ? And those they love ?

Satan is the author of confusion the Bible says . All I know is God does not want a life of someone harming me over and over with no conscience . So here I am grieving my future what I thought it was going to be and I thought he truly loved me . I watch couples they don’t appreciate each other . He always told me our love was special we never got sick of each other we were  meant to be together forever . But in an instant he was gone and jumped into something with someone else ? Wasted no time . It’s so fucked who could process how someone could do it .

So how do we process it ? How do we forgive God ? How do we let go of the pain that is so deep I can’t move ? Maybe a lot of prayer ?

I’m off to the gym now . Going to make my goals . I am strong .