Logic

It’s 9:20 . Today I was off . I finally went to 3 days off what a blessing ! I get to be with my daughter and ..... train more and .... make money . Thank you Jesus . I worked my ass off to get where I am today with the added blessing of carefully making sure I let God guide me in my path .

This blog is kind of an over look an over see if you will . I remember when I was 8 I thought where will I be when I’m old , married ? Have a house ? I also remember at 21 going to school full time making 100k a year on my own raising my son by myself .

But here I am by myself . Life serves us some pretty harsh disappointments . What I do know is I love the mountains . What I do know is I’m proud of what I can accomplish even when I feel like I can’t move I move mountains any way . I love that before I thought I wasn’t ever good enough but the reality is the world is full of beautiful woman every where and someone will love me because I have something they love that those woman don’t offer . I feel strong . I feel so connected with God he shows me exactly what others intentions are even when it breaks my heart because God knows what I deserve , a man who loves him . Thank you Lord . And I’m glad even in these hard times that even though I don’t understand I don’t have to I know God is in control .

I love the ocean and I love going to Barnes and Noble on my lunch break . And today I prayed with Raigan in my car , she asked if my ex boyfriend would ever come back and it’s sad to me when the world lets us down and I told her that but I told her God won’t and there is power in that , Amen

So we prayed right there I parked in the street to our God for our future and Raigan said she kept her fingers crossed so God will listen , I told her darlin don’t worry he listens you can believe that .

So here we are at 40 . Sitting in my room listening to my bulldog snore . My heart it hurts in an emotional sense . But we are doing well right . My 8 year old self I can say I’m not where I thought I would be but I’m going where God has called me and there really is no other place we should be . I signed up to volenteer at a homeless shelter .

May God bless and heal this little family we need it . Our hearts our weary lord

But we are your children . May you guide our path . You are the lamp unto our feet
And that you have been.

Good night .