Tomorrow

I don’t know what my future will bring . I know it’s midnight and I can’t sleep . I miss hearing Tank snore as I write I’m deeply saddened . I took my progress picture I have a 4 pack even more determined for my Christmas goal for a 6 pack . I’m not even happy with my body yet and I’ve come so far . I think about my future to get through these hard times - sad times of loss this year . Dreaming gets me through the hard days and honestly I don’t know how I’m making it . It’s prayer and faith.

I dream of moving and having my house and being able to burn those candles that smell like vanilla frosting . And having beautiful rugs white fluffy ones and having a pretty house .

I think about not now but later having someone actually love me and not leave me or lie . How sad I’ve been through this to just want someone to be nice to me . To hold me at night and to travel with
To eat healthy foods with , lift weights with and pray with . Seems so simple this life right


Here I am alone healing . People say I’ve wasted my beauty my kindness , my love . Maybe I did and people who didn’t care . But maybe God has plans and paths for a reason I don’t know .

All I know is where I’m headed someday . Right now I know healing is right place for me . Not dating . I’m listening to the sounds of rain on my phone . It’s like memories are a thief to my sleep

They wake me in the middle of the night I’m always tired . I need to find a sleep aid .
Any way I will go to try to find rest I need energy for the gym .

Good night