Resurface

See past white linen sheet
Bare past sunlight
Drowning under water
I left the message their
In that bottle
Did you see it ?

I pause the dice black table
I fall in the lake
It's night and I'm cold

I'm lost
Under blankets bare alone
Did you hear me
Under water

It was so dark
I can't see you
Can't feel you

When I touch
You touch me

Inbox

Blue scatters like empty and lost footprints
Running down my buttons , turning my round eyes
Black , desperate in their attempt to find you -
Bring you home even if it's just tonight ,

There is a word for letting go
Like a hand torn away in the crowd
Like the child who lost his mother

The sky can't shine
With out the stars
Stars can't shine with out the sun .

a universe taken away
you are the stars
You are the sun
You are , you are .......

Blue scatters like marbles on the bath tub floor
I cry alone as the water falls .....
I sink slowly
Memories just a telegraph away
Saved .

Cold War

I almost died once , the only thing I needed to know was if you loved me . For me taking my last breath my heart wrenching in pain as I laid in the ER , my son crying next to me . Do you ever wonder what those people think ? At this moment I knew . What I always knew . We were like the movie big fish . One of my favorite movies . I wrote you that night in case I didn't wake up in the morning . I got no reply . This was last year today . Something that will always pain me . Twin flame I believe you are . Do you know what that is ? I try to let go but the deepest part of me holds on . Could you answer the question if you ever read this ? What does a soul do split in half I've never known what love can do until I felt the pain of your absence . Until I knew your presence . Your the king in this world full of fakes and pretenders . And no one loves me like you did .

Here We Go

It's 12 am . You think by now this would become a walk in the park , some. Tragic error I'm used to  the same old drill over and over . But as I watch my heart monitor once again go from 74 to 110 I know what's coming . Epilepsy sucks . I take my heart medicine it's not working . And im stuck wondering will I end up in the hospital tonight ? I don't want sympathy , it wouldn't even do epilepsy any good . Your alone in it . When it happens a fear strikes you , that can't be controlled . Will I die tonight ? Is all I will imagine . No one knows what it's like to feel that way unless you've almost died,that's the only way I can explain what a seizure is like . No cure . I only have mine at night . My days I try to fill with joy because my nights are full of terror . Maybe I'll get some sleep . Maybe I should blog more about epilepsy . So more people become aware .

love

Slip my fingers past my agony
There's white cotton caution tape
And I'm breathing you in my dreams .......

Grab my neck
Soldiers are marching in the desert
The devil dances on my shoulder
I walk the streets with the stars

I leave you here
I leave you there ......

I'm all grown up
My lip sticks red
Follow all the rules
Forget about love they said .....

Meet the pretty rich boys at midnight
Let them use you up and spit you out instead .....

Kneeling on the ground
Soldiers fighting at half past 1
Faith calls your name

Life hurts you said
But we chose who hurts us
And my decision was made

Alone in my bed
He's all grown up
Love is in a box
Red lip stick on

Midway

It's deafening here
I hear your message clear
Static builds in lines empty
I color in old books of hearts and initials
Crumbled and lost beneath a bed

So I manage to take the train
Another way
Another day

I walk boldly away
But I'm lying if I didn't say
My heart at the station is where it stays

A friend once told me
You can't quiet mad love
So instead it's scattered in ryhmns
In letters

I can go
You say please let go

It's like breaking gold .
So here I go

Twin Flame Love

Twin flame love exist. If you do not know what it is or understand it you may not have found it yet. Twin flame love is spiritual. It's not on a physical level. It is rare, you will feel like you know everything about them when you meet them, you will know when you see them, you will hear them when they are not there. Look up twin flame meeting, I have met mine have you ?

Waiting Between

The farther I go 

The closer i come back to you 

Like a broken compass 

It's arrow always pointing 

Always suggesting 

But never doubting . 

I find myself searching 

Lost sometimes . 

Never when I come to terms with 

The arrow . 

I've never been so sure about anything in my life 

And every time I turn my back to say good bye 

Something tells me , no this way . 

How can I be so wrong ? 

I feel you in my soul . 

Am I wrong ? 

I watch the compass now alone 

Wondering if you watch it too 

Night

Soldier grieves the war
Black rose lined the left side of her finger
Thorns absent - heart oxegyn.
Spilled into your lungs like paint
Hung in your living room mantel

I'm haunted by perfect love
Skeleton key - subsides under
Paint brush

I breathe .

Grieving soldier
I can fight alone
She can fight with out you here
The death of me , is life with out you
Marching on
Piano screaming in the dark
Forgotten .
Like the winter .

Purge

It was leather and the fog followed her
Buckled under the loss even now
The coroner  asked her
Every decision is calculated
Even in decision

There's a message in your pocket
Still
She held on to it all these years
Clutched on cold table
Withered , the man was curious

I searched the clock
It was empty , no numbers , no faces
I couldn't remember how the day went
How I got here

I put my hand on my chest
I asked for the answer
Clutching old paper
Everything's a message
The paper was blank
The coroner read it loud

The table was cold
Ravens black .

Paper Mache

I'm not sure how the sky grew so dark
How the stars lost there light
Or how the music became so silent

I just know that roads are always connected
Even when they seem so divided
Maybe you read these letters addressed to you
That sit in my mail box empty
Read by my wire rimmed lense
Crafted by paper clipped heart instead
I keep in this locket perfect with your vintage
Letters I keep warm with whisky trying to forget
The way I can't stop
Loving
You

monopoly

The metal coats hang
With frozen smiles
Empty pictures - I stand here
Wait for your imperfect hand shake
Did you notice me in the corner of the room

There's a disguise
I didn't win the race tonight
Stupid girl in red ribbons
Should've known better ,
Never was that girl - sitting in time out

Had a voice
In an empty room
I fought for you to remember
My name

Should've come naturally
Funny I have this audience
All of them here
except you

She was extrodanary
She was never meant for the corner
Come in
Come in

Love Letters

Delicate glass finds its self under the feet 

Of my eyes , I can't see my reflection 

With out you in the horizon . 

I can't write words with out my hero as the subject or look to the sky with out the star - 

And I drive watching the moon 

Wondering if your ever looking back at me 

As the drive feels more and more alone 

It really doesn't matter if I say good bye 

Your written in every line of my life 

Under shattered leaves of fall

The loss and win to lyrics of these songs 

The only problem is 

I can't bring you home . 

Why can't my love be enough 

I'm just a silly girl

White cotton panties 

Warm sun 

My heart beats big for you 

Not the biggest band aid could do 

I just always knew 

Orchestra

Moments sit on finger tips 

Dancing on ideas that seem to fade 

In and out like you 

The frequency resonates 

The band plays - 

I fall asleep to the tune 

I write my own story 

I'm my own orchestrator 

I fall into your sea 

Lost and forgotten 

The Stars won't leave me 

The band plays louder 

Then fades into the distance 

What can I do 

What can I do now 

These moments sit on my fingertips 

Alone 

Waiting for home 

Dungeon

Here I am at the door 

No ones there 

I'm scattered left remaining 

Tasseled hair 

Maybe it's meant to be 

Left alone 

Hand grasping air 

Butterfly bandaid 

Hiding yesterday 

No one looking back at her 

There's a time and a place 

But the clock never seems to be pointing 

In her direction 

What does it take 

To start over 

Do you see me 

Like holes 

In black sky's 

Feel me breathe in you tonight 

Here I am at the door

No ones there 

I'm scattered left remaining 

Crowns

Take me home to my heart . 

Sifted through ashes 

Conquering the wars 

Slaughtered lambs there's something to say for the living 

Something to remember for the lost 

I have a voice 

Lost under glass 

Concrete walls 

Free me from this 

I'm the wolf 

Pacing at the door 

Covered in the lambs tragedy 

So here you have the storm 

I have everything there is to be told 

I'm not an underestimation 

I'm the lullabie

To unanswered prayers 

So listen close 

There's something to be said for the living 

I been sifted through the ashes 

Found wanting 

Made into new beginnings 

Take heart I say 

As the clouds gather 

We will not fall 

I promise you 

We will not fall 

Consolation

If I sent you one last letter 

I would tell you I'm letting you go 

Your the ace missing from my deck 

The best whisky on the shelf 

But I can't hold on to love 

That doesn't love me back 

And I can tell you 

It would be worth waiting forever 

As you live in these over due pages 

With no return answers 

Shadows

Alice commits suicide 

Can't shake the shadow 

She runs one way 

Hearts another 

Kings sit pretty with crowns 

They watch her fall 

It only matters if she's on her knees 

As she band aids the loss of being incomplete 

There's an ace missing from my deck 

There's a storm over head 

Nothing can stop her 

From un becoming what they want her to be 

She looks past the shadow 

Like Peter Pan 

A fairy tale can't save her 

I sit here between words and periods 

In this world alone 

Lost 

Says , Alice 

Searching through every window 

Sea

It's this place

He says . 

Take my hand 

She says . 

Across the wall 

Built against oceans 

I make this boat 

Patch work left wounded 

Stitches and sails unfolded 

It's dark here 

The storm comes from her eyes 

She becomes a light house 

He said I see you 

She said 

Come . 

Lights faltering 

In and out through the haze 

I can be your sun rise 

But as I sit the sun only sets 

Compiled

A letter where words break apart 

The last letter I will

Write 

About how it changed my life 

Something I have to let go 

And can't say good bye 

If I sailed the world to find the darkest ocean 

It could never hear the torture 

Of losing what could never be 

Found again 

I listen in the darkness 

Nothing 

How do I say goodbye 

In this letter I write 

But I can't keep fighting either 

I'm a ghost

Your the sailor 

I see the pictures 

And I'm not your home 

I can't forget 

I can't remember 

Can't say good bye 

Can't say hello either 

So here's your stamp 

I'm home 

I'm not your home 

Writing to say 

I can't let go 

But I have to say good bye 

Midnight

I'm standing in the rain 

I'm not the midnight train 

Waiting at the station 

Coming and going 

Coming 

And 

Going 

Do you see me here 

Wait with me 

Traveling alone 

Never asking me where I'm going 

My suit case full 

Am I not the beauty 

As you cast your stone 

My heart beating on broken tracks 

Dead 

And gone 

A leather cliche 

I'm more than fascinated 

But you can't read this can you 

Or your suitcase would be ready 

I'm more than this 

I'm a kiss 

Hello 

Not just good bye 

The Fall

I feel the leaves of you 

Wrestling under my skin 

It's always fall , in this place 

I sit in the warmth 

Watch trees changing shape 

I can't walk to winter 

Leaving you behind 

I hesitate in every moment 

Trying to find 

A smile in the silence 

Bringing you here 

I'm stepping on keys 

Black and white 

Can you still hear 

The scream of breaking me open 

The smell of home on your fingers 

I lie here now 

Leaves blowing in the wind 

Midnight of winter moving in 

I stay here quiet and alone 

Hoping you will meet me here 

Kalidescope Letter

I see you from the corner of my eye 

I'm displaced in this shadow 

I'm choking on reason 

Living on memory 

Tell me 

Marry me 

Marry me 

As broken fingers get ready for the fall 

Tell me 

Stay with me 

Stay with me 

I don't regret this at all 

I can fight in these songs 

My insides 

Where you live 

You are my blood 

Coursing through this heart 

There is nothing 

To bring you back 

I stand here in the rain 

Singing you songs 

It's cold 

I miss your warm 

It's the death of me 

And I'm ok 

Tell me 

Speak to me 

Speak to me 

I hear you from a thousand miles 

I write in the sand 

Falling from hour glass 

Every moment alone 

There not you 

Thank you 

Broken fingers holding on 

Tell me 

You loved me 

You loved me 

I'm in the rain 

No regret 

Gypsy

There was a moment 

Swallowed in blankets 

Fighting an ocean of tears 

Listening to your words 

Slowly drowning me 

It was that night 

I fell apart 

When I needed you to be the one to fall 

Hand me a cigar 

I'll quietly miss you 

As I drive alone in my car 

If I could push rewind 

Could I change that night 

Maybe you just needed convincing 

I'm not hard to love 

Left with candles and stale cake 

What do I do with this 

I knew you were mine from beginning to end 

I'm no beggar 

When I write these letters 

I wanted you to stay 

Because you wanted too 

But I never fall 

But I did that night 

As you slammed the door 

Now I'm left 

Full of reminders 

Of what I'm looking for 

Panic.

Can you be the shelter 

In my storms - 

Calmly sitting patiently 

I ask you 

Does the crow keep you warm 

Night shifts into a melody 

You hummm secretly 

And I begin to fade into the darkness 

How do I keep your light 

She wondered 

Jupiter

Clean my eyes 

Dilated 

Coveting the picture frame 

Empty glass 

Burning in my fingers 

Bruising my neck 

I lost sleep 

A vacuum of what I used to be 

Confined in this place 

I feel you waking 

Lost and sleeping 

Invisible i am 

Stitched in time 

Metal lense blinds you 

I am black leather handcuffs 

Batting eye lash in temporary libraries 

Filed and put away 

Feel me in the morning 

Under blankets wet 

Picture frames broken 

You wouldn't ever know 

She's a mess 

Blue Prints

Frames sit steady on the shore 

Empty spaces fill today 

Architect hands placed firmly 

Around 

Your eyes 

Reaching deep inside 

Held with so many regrets 

Pacing fast 

With one last breath 

Catch me if you can 

House sits 

Empty 

Blue print hands 

I have the paper 

I have the pen 

Let me burn old pages 

Bonnie and Clyde she said 

Telegraphs

Come tell me how it goes 

The way stories never seem to end 

The way we write them in our heads 

They told me something different 

As a little girl 

I wore a white dress 

Did what I was told 

There's a hundred monsters 

I'm left lacking 

A hundred broken 

Am I breaking 

Or are you out spoken 

A cowards tale is un forgiven 

Like the monsters 

Hiding under my bed 

Below all the victories 

I stand with pride 

So tell me why 

I'm braver than the hero who saved me 

I sit here asking why 

Wondering what you ask yourself 

At night 

Axis

The record shatters against 

All I have faith in 

I don't believe she lies 

I toss medal jacks like marbles 

There's clouds dressing the sky 

Like an open wound 

Counting time 

What can I do . 

I'll run 

To re write but never be undone 

Like needle and the thread 

I won . In the moment 

I found my army 

When you held me 

The day I was a warrior 

Even when I transpired your ghost 

As I let go 

Faith prays 

For you to find me 

Counting clouds one by one 

Delicate

I was born the day you recognized me 

I woke in the glory 

Of the day 

When letters opened , finally read 

The sigh of relief finally met 

If I could say it any better 

Standing in arms 

From across the room 

From across the world 

It's where the cloud met the sky 

Never knew how things felt when they became right 

Like how that line went in the movie 

The last one in this song 

Tell me - 

As you walk in the woods alone 

Am I there folded and hiding there 

Somewhere in the crease of your 

Smile 

Lost 

In the letters finally read the day 

That day 

I hear the music still in every quiet room 

I feel your heart beating left in the quiet 

Of my ear 

I'm asking you 

To come home 

Because when your across the room 

Across the world 

Your near me 

Film

There's a listen in your ear 

And an arrow in your blood 

I gut the belly of your compass 

I search hard 

I breathe every step 

I turn away and find 

You 

Tell me as my movie reels 

Into focus new memory 

Keeps rewinding your iris so clearly 

A vision I see perfectly 

Gleaming into my intention 

Like brandy 

Drunk on your love 

I can't forget you 

I can't erase you 

Like your last letter 

Typed so perfect 

I climb every ladder 

That will take me farther 

But it just leads me closer 

How tell me 

How do you separate 

One 

To 

Two 

I am not a hopeless romantic 

I am not a writer 

I am not a martyr 

I am just here 

Trying not to remember 

The hero 

Who saved me 

So tell me 

How do you walk now 

With my arrow 

Coursing through your perfect heart 

As a reminder 

That I'm here waiting 

Trying to save myself 

Journey

Condolences sent to you 

To the faces that have turned there backs 

I walk the miles plenty 

For David fought Goliath 

And won 

I walk with my head high 

The rest left in picture frames black 

And white 

If you don't believe me 

It's not my job to do all the convincing 

My job isn't to empower the weak 

Moths love the light 

But yet darkness can't live in a lit room 

So please there is no offense 

In your walking away 

From me - 

My audience is the strength 

Of kings 

The hall ways haunt me of lost love

Waiting to come back 

Like Braille and lanterns 

Walking fingers and half hearts 

Wishing memories home 

And for those that we walk hand in hand

They are my home  

Stations

Grazing fingers on pages

Ends of letters that walk along 

Memories following like shadows 

And your remains like ashes 

Pushed into lockets 

Half for you 

Half for me 

I can write a chorus 

About how I hear you whispering still 

Some where in the city lights 

It makes for perfect conversation 

When I'm alone in my bed 

What happens when the chorus ends 

They say love last a life time 

I tried to catch you before the coming train 

I caught your eye as you drifted away 

Pages become history books 

Words become love letters 

And train stations become home 

U turns

Exit door lights up 

Seems like it's revolving 

I'm sitting at the other end wondering 

How explanations turn into thoughts 

Into written words 

Into blank messages 

Faith has me here 

In every window 

Every song 

Losing you best is trying 

To find you again 

Letting go 

Holding on 

All over again 

Crayons

I wrote you a letter today 

Like a coloring book 

Inside and outside the lines I drew 

I crushed the paper a hundred times 

I couldn't quite get the message through 

I knew in your silence 

What you were going through 

The crayons are laying on the floor 

Music streams at midnight 

Not sure where the time went 

But I knew 

I'm left here crumbling paper 

Can't say I'm surprised 

Tried to catch you before midnight 

Before you hid your final good bye 

Under the mat where keys go that wer'e meant to find . 

You know what I mean don't you ?

You knew I had it figured from the beginning 

Should've stayed 

I'm the finish line you see 

Now I'm here left with paper 

Crumbling 

With endings and new beginnings 

38

I write best when I'm not thinking 

Heart guides me best as I'm driving 

Whatever she tells me is the truth 

It's always the truth between you and me 

My voice is all I have 

You will only know me if your listening 

I love deeply but love rarely 

Love never comes easy 

Success only comes when you believe in yourself 

Believing is integrity 

I have a handful of friends but boy 

Do they mean everything 

And to them I'm everything 

They hear me . 

I'm 38 tomorrow 

This past year I've learned to listen to people from the inside 

Things are not black and white 

We live once take nothing for granted 

Let no one take you for granted 

And never let go of love . 

Because true love comes back . 

And most of all make everything count and never do anything you may regret 

Cheers to another year 

Light Houses

Phones type out blank messages 

Neon lights fade into a sunset 

As I drive tonight 

Shadows pasted perfect to the music 

Never fading never staying 

The rocks seem more like empty waves 

I can't stand on a grave 

Sail the seas I say 

Anchors remind me of the light 

Broken on the hill - 

Searching for calm 

Finding only the storm 

I never wanted to be the hero 

Just didn't want to get lost amongst the waves 

The distance is fading faster 

As I read the news paper 

Bets are in 

All or nothing he said 

As I sail alone 

With ghost from home 

Paintings

Contemplate finger prints 

Left on coffee tables 

I watch the crows spread there wings 

Leaving a winter behind 

I am the sunshine 

If you rinse the Braille I left on your heart 

Then friendships aren't made to last 

There's a foggy rainbow 

Telling you , your stories 

Sitting here alone 

With your brush strokes 

I can't remember what you said 

I'm just left with a picture 

Don't let it burn in my hands 

Contemplating finger prints 

Left on glass tables 

Afraid of the coming 

Afraid of the going 

I am the sun shine 

Left with this picture 

Left in your hands 

Spells

Cast a shadow in the well 

Change falls from this pocket 

Wishes fall on empty stars 

Funerals line broken dreams 

With the courage to take a hand 

Sitting still - I'm gonna stand 

I hear you in the distance 

Voices lost on old pages 

Half written ,holding on to every letter 

That was never addressed . 

Lockets separate, 

Golden clasp 

I see you in the window 

Calling my name 

I can't reach you there 

You can't reach me  

Black

Leather panties crawl on the floor 

The devil smiles 

Red harmony typed out 

Calculated hunt , 

Guns drawn at the silver gate 

Betting is it heaven or hell 

Whisper my name 

As I scream 

Love dies in black rose lenses 

Reborn at midnight 

When we have fallen 

Take place 

At the starting line 

Return to my bed 

Can't imagine you out of my head 

Gun re loaded 

Tell me again 

I'm what you always needed 

Like a cigarette

Like a needle dripping heroine 

Carbon

I drive through empty tunnels 

Wind passes through broken spaces 

A hundred hands grab my fingers 

I turn the music up 

Sing the last song I can remember 

The review mirror stays the same 

Funny the way things change 

Funny the way they stay the same 

A hundred hands slipping through 

None holding me 

The miles begin to look the same 

On this drive tonight 

If the Braille was written on your wall 

Could you read it 

And I pass through a crowded room 

Looking for you 

Do you see me 

Fingers touching 

Moving

Telegraphs written gone unread 

A Lonley love song lost in smoke 

A conversation between two now one 

Tell me how does the story end 

You said you figured it best 

I figured I'd wait a little longer 

Little girls always have dreams of castles 

And you were the hero 

If I say good bye today 

If I put a stamp on this letter 

Would I fold your cape and put it away for later 

I sit now in our sunset 

Folding envelope 

Tired of all the nights alone 

Maybe love never dies 

But I can't fight alone . 

So I walk down the path 

The numbers on the house they fall 

One by one 

Eyes black - tears fall 

But you figured it best 

As I drop this letter in the mail 

I'm guessing 

There will be 

No answer 

Sure Things

I can't do it 

I draw words out 

Like spilled paint 

That never dries 

It is you standing there at the edge of every breath I take 

I fight every moment 

But you are there - 

Knocking on every door - 

I look to the sky 

On every night drive 

The Stars guide me home 

Tell me not to forget in faith tonight 

I feel you at home inside my eyes 

Sitting looking out 

I know you want what's best for me 

But you were what made me best 

You see 

Concrete Footprints

Spine falls flat into open wounds 

I call out into the darkness 

Nothing speaking back to me 

Converse untied 

Cold winds and a lost regret 

I can't think of anything else 

I saw you last night 

In a dream 

I saw you in the song I heard on the radio 

Life is fleeting into faded heart beats 

Riding this dream alone 

You tell me to let you go 

What's The Wall

Fall from heaven 

Ashes turn to wings 

Bridges burning in back grounds 

Just to realize pictures never meant a thing 

One brush with the best intentions 

Left me breathing 

As the door closes 

I open the window 

Climbing head first into the sunrise 

From the best night of my life 

I can't apologize he said 

I raise my hands 

I wake up to another tomorrow 

Tell me the secret as I fly 

Will you fall with me 

As ashes turn to wings 

One more memory painted in graffiti 

Burning buildings 

The news comes 

Love is like a bag of marbles 

Falling fast 

Tell me 

If you close the door 

I'll open the windows 

Climbing 

Head first to the sun rise 

Circles

I collect your pictures 

As they fall to the floor 

Like black eyes drawn to sky 

Wondering about the last night 

There's a huge answer 

With question 

How do I go on - 

There's a building 

Tearing it down 

There's a light 

In the tunnel I chase you in 

Shadows left behind 

Sit with me in the moment 

Meet me here in the memory 

When everything was perfect 

No care - 

Now there's no answer 

Tell me how 

With the whisper of good byes 

Left on parchment paper 

Hoping this pen will run out 

But love it never dies 

It lives on 

Ever searching for your light 

Finding shadows instead 

Possibility

Impossibility the moon whispers 

For even the star can't live away from 

Her sun 

Impossible the way 

She runs . 

I press up against a glass wall 

If I could scream aloud 

Fogg up your sky 

Re trace your memory 

Back 

To my kiss 

I would try harder not to ever lose you - 

Bubble gum kiss on your lips 

How does it 

Impossibility 

A boat float 

With out her ocean 

And I guess she just will 

Post War

Collect the stars in rusted necklace 

That's alright 

Carry you around my neck 

That's alright 

Dust the memory off broken dreams 

That's alright 

Find you in the eyes of songs 

That's alright 

Wait for you to come home 

That's alright 

Try to forget you 

That's alright 

Remembering  you 

That's alright too 

Lions

Years erode into paths 

A wrinkled soul hides well to beautiful smile 

Shake my hand years of scars 

Hidden wisdom 

Leaning on bookshelves in the dark 

Travel in silence 

Hear the crowds 

Love absent 

Full of faith 

Miles part 

The only difference now 

Is the ones who chose to hold my hands 

Follow through or fall away - 

There for the memory 

To take my breath away 

Lean on my library 

Open my page 

Courage and faith 

Questionable

Stained memory 

Filtered high , breathing you in

Holding it in tight 

Black widow flight 

Dangling for the devil 

Grinning from my chin 

Tell me why your hell feels like heaven 

I have this glass of whiskey 

You say I'm not fine wine 

Your right - 

I'll tell you darling 

If you come closer 

You will find 

I'm the poison in your veins 

Runs long past tonight 

A heroin you can't fight 

So I whisper in your ear 

When your alone at night 

Tornequete 

Resolve

There's the great unknown 

I hold the finish line 

The race we run unjust I know 

Tell me what it takes to bring you home 

Miles of broken road 

Bending dreams conform 

And I am ready to give up 

To give in 

I look in the window

See your reflection 

I tell myself one more day 

I tell myself no more 

Then I'm reminded 

Your my guardian angel 

And I know this road you travel 

I don't know the words to write 

To bring you back 

But I tell myself to give up 

As I sit in the window and stare 

Just one more day 

One more day 

She says 

Home

Pray for tomorrow but for today , all I want is to be home . Stand in the mirror you look the same just looking for shelter cold and the pain someone to cover safe from the rain , all I want is to be home . 

- foo fighters 

Fear of my heart absence of faith . 

Empty glass 

Eyes full of grace 

I can't change tonight 

But I can promise you will be safe 

There's an open road 

Bent miles of pain 

Stolen from the wreckage 

I know loss I know gains 

Let me fill your glass 

I'll be your whisky tonight 

Best intention you've had all your life 

Rabbit Holes

Lipstick stained pillows 

Hold steady conversations 

Between broken walls and rusted hearts 

No resolution 

Searching dark iris 

In comfortable position 

I get lost in you 

But only for a moment 

If I stay to long 

I fear I won't escape the beauty 

And the beast of you 

So I'll sleep in your shadow tonight 

And rest in your tomorrow 

Lipstick smeared kiss 

Cotton panties 

Spilled on the floor 

Hand cuff caress

Begging 

For another 

Night 

To rest 

In you 

Chaos

Can ghost's be Heros 

Up piano keys her thoughts run

Like his eyes did inside her 

 

She holds on now to the edges 

Where he left her 

As he watches 

Will he save her 

In time 

The Way Home

Show me the way back 

Where broken windows 

Become stained glasses 

 

Where shot glass whiskey memories 

Become the future 

And a kiss good bye 

Becomes hello again 

Against The Light

With the last sail lifted high I'm ready now - yellow card 

The hand rest alone 

Heart paces in a cage 

There's a wolf at the door 

He paces - 

I roll the dice 

And contemplate 

Envite him in 

He can't stay 

I can't breathe 

I'm the wolf too 

I'm lost 

In losing you 

With one hand 

Heart paces 

Missing 

In its cage 

The violins play 

Nothing 

Nothing's the same with out you 

Rogue

I can't feel with out you 

Inside 

Me 

I can't live with out your 

Heart beating 

Feel the way the tide breaks 

Us apart - 

Like a funeral 

Like the way our eyes met 

The way the sun set 

I held your hand 

Fingers printed 

Like sand never parting 

One - 

As we sift through this hour glass 

Nothing hurts like this 

Separated 

How can you part 

One . 

Red Baron

The trouble is counterfeit 

It's all the same 

Left and right 

Counted and found wanting 

Like stale conversation 

Boring plane rides 

I see your Braille 

When you think your hiding well - 

Then there was you 

Soaring higher 

Behind the mask 

It was you all along 

I was never 

Never invisable 

You were a hero

Now I'm left with empty pages 

Waiting for someone to read my story again 

Turning these pages 

The music plays 

Can you hear her 

Tell me can you hear her 

Passed

Climbing through my window pane 

The sky is dark with memory 

Fleeting into the wings of crows 

Scattered like black marbles 

No direction 

No which way to go - 

We painted a sign 

They couldn't read it could they 

I'm here calming the storm 

But the crowd is getting heavy 

As my eyes 

Waiting for something that has left 

What can she do 

Stethoscope engraved on your sleeves 

A sign only I can read 

A song only you could hear . 

But there's nothing 

Wreckage

Feel my heart stop I lift my eyes 

I can't choose when to love 

Or who I am a part of - yellow card 

Deserted dreams 

Are like a dead army 

At war . 

Marching with empty guns 

There's a place I hide 

A grave where I still find us there 

Much alive 

I'm fighting at the edge of a storm 

Nothing is left but my heart 

With weapons down 

I'm screaming 

Can you hear me ? 

I'll fight here in this place 

Hearts cut into pieces 

I blow there ashes 

Falling sand through 

Your broken fingers 

There's a place I hide 

A grave where I still find us their 

Much alive 

I'm here in the rain 

Calling out 

Can you hear me ? 

Acquisition

The quiet things that no one ever knows - The Brand New 

I started a revolution 

In your eyes , I traveled through the room 

In your arms I fell to my death 

I'm the spine holding the broken back 

I'm the Vengence 

Tearing away your clothes 

There's a whisper in the audience 

Can you hear my name 

I'm the rain

I'm your heart

Feel me beating 

Shakespeare

Locks and a safe hanging behind
 favorite paintings
Over fireplaces where I sit and contemplate
Everything we can't remember
And the one thing we can .

I'll sit in your chair you see
Smoke your cigar
There is nothing like me
I'll get in your safe
Beyond the maze
With out you recognizing my face

But you will never mind I'm there
Your paintings a cold museum
Perfect ,

I'm a perfect mess .

I read your Braille the moment
We shook hands .

Now you walk the halls of my museum

I ask you

Do you need a cigarette

Possibility

There's a terrible sadness in the air
Pick me up in your shelter
You told me it's cold inside

But I'm out here in the rain -

There's a fire
I course through your veins

Let her break your sky

The Stars cry
Save me like you did yesterday
Save me like I saved you

You say it's cold outside
But I'm out in the rain

Hear the wolves
Coming closer ?

I know you remember me
I have a fire
It runs through your veins

Goal Post

I reposted from my Agent Orange blog . I want to redirect some of my poetry traffic to my other blog
It's meant to inspire and help reach goals .

Please go to my blog profile and you will find agent orange blog . Thank you .

Foo fighters - ever long is a great song , My friend Phil got me listening to it now it's my turn to get you to listen to it . And as it streams through my head phones I will write today's blog -

I started this blog a year and half ago . I wanted it to encourage others in hope and in love . Sometimes I read back and I encourage myself on the days I forget how strong I am . 

The one thing I always say to any one is keep your integrity and be you . When friends ask for advice I tell them the same. Sometimes in life we get hurt or others will hurt us . But as long as you can look in the mirror and say I have integrity and I'm being true to myself your doing ok . 

Secondly focus on the goals at hand . I have set goals I write them down and crush them . Maybe there are a few I got close that's ok too . You keep pushing keep making new goals . 

Sometimes the higher you get the more heat you get . People don't like to see others accomplishing anything . It doesn't matter how nice you are , or who you are , you can't please the masses . 

Keep your focus on the finish line . You can't win watching the side lines . 

Thirdly - to your friends and enemies give love . This is called character . I mean your going to win right ? All that matters is who's at the end cheering you on . 

It's rough I know . Don't lose your joy , sometimes I do , but I'm reminded God is there , friends are there , and look to some of the great people on your journey 

Never give up !! Follow the rules 

-agent orange 

Game Of Risks

" And you asked me to open up my walls to all of this , but I tried , with fingers broken ," - Scope Of All This Rebuilding

I pause in the storm
The silence is screaming
I break for you -

This is how the story goes

Written in between the lines of these pages

Yet all they want is between half past 11 and midnight

There's something to be said about a story unread

Maybe she's missing some pages ........

Some say there's love

I say there's fairy tales

I say fuck

Maybe I broke this type writer
Maybe I'm invisible

He writes at midnight
He says I'm beautiful
I say he's beautiful

What's your story

We both have our walls he says

Fingers bleeding
It's cold outside
I'll let you in

Alice and the Cat

There's a rain coat rusted and red
I stare at it hiding in the corner
I watch the sun rising through small rain drops

I remember the way your smile changed my eyes
There's a song playing in the distance
I hear you humming from across the ocean

You whisper -
Alice I have not forgotten -

I contemplate the red jacket
As I toss back whisky and regrets
Make me big again
She says ,
To the cat -

Alice was always brave - he said .
But I could argue that .

So here she goes , the cold sets in
And you dare me to pick my sword up again

Because love lives even when love dies -

And that's what you always taught me -

Never giving up -

Heroes

I took a pill this morning
Slip away they say
Make me forget I tell myself
In a mirror -

I forget what love is
Until I see your picture
Then I forget why I'm dead

I cut my day around lost smiles
Take a pill in the pm

Smile fades in the day
The phone rings its him
My emails empty though

I remember you saved me first

Entry

View from the roof top of your iris
Seems clouded .....
I sit and conversate with your demons
They can't hear me right .

I'm screaming at the gate .
I watch you holding hands
With a ghost

I hold hands with the past

I carry this letter
I can't find the author
Signed by you

Panic Room

Funny how a familiar smile becomes forgotten
And a laugh that once saved you
Is lost like a stranger -
On a crowded street in New York -

I fancy the way blankets and fingers crossed us
On Mondays

Or the way the city lights hummed as we drove
On Tuesdays

It's Friday now - and we can't spell our names
I love you / written on a steamed bathroom mirror

Lost when you opened the door to say good bye

It's not supposed to end that way ,

It's not supposed to begin that way either

Asleep

Collateral she says 

Button missing 

Fix me please ? 

I'm not the one she says ..... 

He pleads his case - 

I shake my head 

I'm left here alone 

With graffiti on my walls 

Doesn't quite keep her warm 

Phone is ringing 

"What's the harm , "he says 

"Of course ," he says 

As she waits alone - 

The thing is 

He won't even read this letter 

He's not even brave enough to save me 

Not even brave enough to save himself 

Reverse

I'm not sure why 

She said 

The phone went dead and suddenly 

So suddenly the connection was lost - 

I went over the story 

About the boy 

Doesn't matter does it ? 

How many times we cry ? 

I watch the airplanes fall from the sky 

I hold his picture every night 

But darling 

No ones left holding 

On the phone 

Gambling your last penny 

Drinking your last shot at the bar 

Betting your last smile 

Of this memory 

I'm telling you don't look back 

The cost is left in the wonder 

Your value a broken mirror 

Paid in full with his debts 

So let me tell you about a boy 

The phone went dead suddenly 

So suddenly 

Faces

If It was about the value of this penny 

All the change in your pocket wouldn't do

It's not about me , it was always about what they saw in you - 

I walked around with out a mirror for so long , passing strangers , face planted in the ground 

Back faced into the crowd 

Invisible 

But it was you 

The one you couldn't face 

All along - 

It was your weight I carried 

On the shelf 

I toss the penny in the well 

Staring eye to eye now in the crowd 

Sometimes me 

Sometimes them 

A pocket of change 

Your regret 

Fiths

There's a candle

Half lit 

Ashes breaking in winters Sky 

I put my puffy red lips together 

Blow you a kiss - 

I'm rummaging through band aids 

And blankets - 

How does she hold you 

How does she mend you 

It's all the same dear ...... 

Come sit with me 

Snow flakes falling 

Not one ever the same 

I'll take you for a ride tonight 

Make you believe everything's all right 

To bring you back to life again - 

The wax has become cold 

I search for you under the snow 

I wish I could 

I wish I could 

Change nightmares to dreams