Saturday, May 12, 2018

Dear Diary for 40

May 12 2018. 

Dear Diary . 

It’s 7 pm on a Saturday . I just got home from work . I decided today to do a benchmark journal for where I will be one year from now . And where I am since one year ago exactly . 

Joy filled my heart today , as I drove to work I realized last year at this time I had no job . I was depressed and hated myself . None of my goals were getting accomplished not one . This was not like me at all . I had lost every single thing I worked hard for and was in a dark place and ashamed . 

This year I’m in a great job and it might take time but my finances will get back on track , I’m getting my body back , my faith and trust in God are in the right place , my love life I think is getting healthier or is on a healthy path . We’re both getting healthy hopefully we find each other again as a whole . This part has been hardest for me . But once again god is in control of our lives . All I can do is pray for what belongs in my life will be in my life .  I feel better inside and out like I’m getting back to myself and better . I’m turning 40 this month and boy has the past year been hard but I’m not going down with out a fight . 

I’ll look my best this year . Make the most this year . And love unconditionally this year . I pray by 2019 I’ll actually be able to say everything turned out alright . In my times of sadness God has brought me amazing friends to support me . God is good in times of sadness . This is my bench mark of complete health emotional and physical . And to keep it going and to stay strong . 

Even when it’s really hard . Boy we’ve come so far and that in its self is a blessing . 

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