It’s been a month since it all happened and still last night I had this awful nightmare. I used to hold on to the love I had knowing in the end we would be together now I’m left with this pain I can’t shake or make sense of . How do I do it I have no idea . My sister said I would feel fine if I knew my worth that’s not true I know my worth it does not discount that the person you loved hurts you in just about every way imaginable and walks away with a care. The people left in the wreckage with the big loving hearts just wanted love seems simple right . But maybe I chose someone who couldn’t love not even himself . I gave more then I ever had to make it work . I lay here now with a much new changing life I created through great strength and determination and a lot of faith in the Lord. I’m going run a marathon, I’m changing stores as of Monday and I’m moving hopefully soon but I know this is God’s plan . That’s the only thing I do know is that gods plan and purpose happen and if he wanted God to and me he would’ve sought help together .
Here I am alone . Figuring out how to heal . Praying a lot trying to find some kind of peace and joy
I have no desire to be with any man . None . Maybe I’m depressed maybe I know my focus needs to be on God and healing . Amen
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