42 and Single

I know how I got here, it’s been a long road. I invested my all in people that took it no where, sucked who I was dry left me for dead. I been single for well  about 2 years that’s my choice I wanted to . 

Now that my healing is coming to a close I’m missing something. I feel it inside . Apart of me I never cared about before . I haven’t been looking for anyone I hate ( hate ) when people say when your not looking it comes because I’m not a looker and I’m here alone . I never get hit on ever I’m certainly not going to date online. I begin to wonder am I all wrong for every guy ? 

I search any room I’m in I go un noticed. I’m usually fine that but as time now passes I’m wondering will I always be invisible? Is it just not yet my time ? I’ve never been a dater per say I’m to old to waste my time . 

I’m old fashioned I guess I think when it’s here it will come.  But I just don’t think anyone’s coming . I wanted to be married by 42. But my focus is still the same gym, God, daughter , but there is no one outside of that. 

All I can do is pray . That someone will see me . 

Someday right .