The Reason

 I think when you finally love someone in a way you couldn’t explain to someone else. The perfect love in that the relationship it’s self was far from perfect but the love was unconditional. I fought with more then what I ever had. I escaped barely alive. It didn’t work out but I sacrificed everything to make it work. It’s not the come and go love but it was the soul mate kind of love. Where you ultimately give everything of ones self even put all that you are aside for someone else. To love to forgive to die to yourself. 

To even lose them is beside the point. But I’m losing was a death in it’s self to spend time in mourning. It’s all of this is why I’m single. It’s all of this is why I wait on God for healing , for the next step, comes so cautiously. 

I grabbed my fathers hand ( Jesus ) told him I won’t let go and I promised Jesus I would trust him in guidance . You can’t replace a shattered soul with on line dating or just any come and go prospect . 

It’s up to the king of kings now.once you’ve gone through the pain , you learn to give your heart to God for protecting and it’s up to him now who gets it next or maybe it will stay with him but at least I know it’s safe: 

For now we are healing and chasing After Jesus. So even though I wish so much to be married or to have that void filled. I also know what it takes to fill it. So if someone ask why I’m single this is why , it’s up to Jesus . Because that’s where we’re at . Thank you Lord for grabbing my hand when I needed it the most . And being the man I needed and giving an orphan to love , and bringing her love when she had none