It’s Winter

Tori Amos has a new Album it’s not my favorite but I’m streaming the song Russia for some reason it’s bringing peace to me in my clouded sky . 

Today is day 5 of my liquid diet . My life was spiraling out of control on every level . Controlling my diet has put me in a different place . Although I feel mostly hungry - most of the time I’m getting used to that feeling . I think with self control I can make the 30 day destination . I made promises to myself in January I need to stay true to myself 

How did I lose myself ? 

1. Was to be my very best physically 

2. Be my best financially 

3. Be in a healthy relationship 

This year I lost my job and my gym membership . My depression spiraled to a suicidal thought process as I lost everything one by one . 

I was making bad decisions . I was not loving myself . It’s October . I’m bound and determined to finish this year the best shape possible and to not let any one treat me badly and make excuses for it . 

I have no idea when I will leave this world I refuse to fill my life with anyone who hurts me or treats me badly . 

We can turn this thing around October 

I have a voice I found her . We can do this alone . 

Let’s go 

- Agent Orange