Private Life

It's December the years sand is running through my hands . I've fought so hard to not fail , to never fall apart . I have integrity and it's never repaid . I'm running in a maze where life wars with pain . 

Why did he walk away ? Why is there a cyst in my brain ? Why has this year been hard ? I pride myself on having all the answers , you know . I'm pretty smart when it comes to people , but today I have no answers . 

I'm climbing steps that are exhausting only to find myself on top of a ladder . 

I know I just need to pray and have faith . 

It's not a mid life crisis you see , it's just my life , I don't take it to seriously but then again , benchmarks do , 

Where do we go from here as tears stream down my face , writing to an audience wondering if you have ever felt the same . I know I'm not where I'm supposed to be , but I also know I've come so far , I'll get there some day 

4 Squares

There's a note left empty on the back door

I kept the t shirt and my hoodie that is left with your scent 

With all the umbrellas telling their stories in the rain 

I'm left alone in pain 

Your good bye a understated cliche 

And my smile you threw away 

Endings

The year closes her eyes 

I tell you , the scars are hidden under miles of broken bones and inked arms . 

She ask's me 

How to begin again 

I tell her time heals most wounds 

As I filter out the hooks and jackets 

Ready to set out amoungst  the rain 

As I kiss him good bye one very last time 

As puddles form beneath her feet 

She Braves the storm again 

Pardons

Archived it says , a thousand secrets 

Inbox flashing empty 

Folders sit under wire rimmed glasses 

Where every smile meets and cars drive by round cemetery track 

Control alt delete 

Sleepless

When I think about it I feel sick and can't sleep ... 

How to Know A Secret

This is the most real excerpt I will ever write . So pay very close attention . I want to say it because it's the most important life story I learned this year . I have thousands of readers here so I want to spill my guts ... 

This is a rare event I know . 

How do I explain it ? Mmmmm.... This just became difficult . I this year learned what true love is . There were no games , no lies ,  it just was . No worries of intentions , no who text or emails first . 

I'm telling you , listen closer ... 

When you open your heart to someone there is no bull shit . It just is , for good or 

Bad . You dig into each other and listen .  

Best friends ... 

If something is less than this , drop it . 

Period -2014

Hydrogen

Smiles crease empty iris 

Crowds shed light on empty conversations 

Nothing is heard 

Talking with nothing said . 

The wall stands tall 

Holding hands through cracks 

I turn , no one looking back 

A mirror 

Just like that .... Disappears 

Current

There's a lost ship with no sein 

The current breaks her legs and she mourns 

There is no turning back the tide , you see 

No wind to fill the sail 

I'm washed amongst the sand 

Depleting an hour glass through bloody hands 

I watch the stars 

Making the wish one more time 

North

Justice stands in the middle of broken asphalt 

Tied to nothing yet anchored to tragedy 

Puddles stream on night pillows 

As she breathes you in to sleep 

Run to shelter - an empty room 

Locket tucked around my neck 

There's nothing any one can do now 

I can see for miles 

Scraped knees won't heal . 

Street signs pointing north . 

Muse

She rustles through autumn leaves 

Watches them dying - falling to the floor 

Winter sets in , a quiet death 

A violent war - 

Arrows in the chest 

Only one breath left 

The snow is silent 

She can't wake up 

Black Keys

Body lies in the road 

Flat line and needing a life line 

Her veins black 

Lips red

Snow falls 

Nothing remains 

Stepping through darkness 

Finding light ......

Parachutes

The counter offers my coffee cold 

Eyes lifting from the floor 

Looking to the crowd - strangers turn to water colors , I can't see a single one 

I can't lose the dream . Only lost when I sleep .