through broken bone.
I have all these promises
I fight them alone.
funny red lips
empty mirror
closed buttons.
A thousand prayers.
A voice in a thunder storm
where you swear no one knows your name.
And she is standing
against the train.
starving for the chance to start over again.
The beggar asks for her change
but what he does not realize
is that she is more the beggar than he.
this starts with a bang straight away...ugh...the hitting...the 1000 prayers and voice in the thunder go really well together...i find it interesting the turn to 3rd person in the last bit...maybe distancing yourself from her? or is she another person?
ReplyDeleteShe has just come through the hardest of times . But she is poor. But she goes out and puts her best foot forward even though she had a divorce, loss of job, and tries to make it work. But the homeless man always ask her for change and what he didn't realize he has more than she.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been following and enjoying your blog for a while now and would like to invite you to visit and perhaps follow me back. Sorry I took so long for the invitation
ReplyDeleteyep, i got that amy...the transition i was pointing out before is from i to she as you progress...and nice to see this at OLN as well...thanks for the second read...
ReplyDeleteAwe .. Lol. Thanks I never got chance to post :)
ReplyDeletename, train, rain. I sense this as a song. blues I guess. It sounds like she is really down. We just never know who is who, eh. who's hurting tho they may seem to have much. Nice job showing that.
ReplyDeletegivers and takers in this world... would be nice if each could wear the others shoes once in a while
ReplyDeleteOftentimes, what we see on the surface is not the reality beneath. Very nice write!
ReplyDeletehttp://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/a-promis-comes/
a strong poem. i like how you use naming here and turn it around. what's in a name? sure, he's the beggar but she is the poorer one.
ReplyDelete