Not A Note .

Last year at this exact time I had a six pack and I was dreaming of marrying my ex boyfriend. An ex that was not there for me and my point is last year I was where I wanted to be physically but not mentally. I was in a dark place it took anything to make me cry , bullies took advantage of it. I was at my very best and at my very worst  all at the same time.I was fragile and so broken .

I wanted to be better and different but I didn’t know how. It’s not that I’m not a survivor or strong I just was so heart broken I was not surviving it was not from one man it was a hundred past hurts of old friends or family or all of it hitting me at once . It was taking the time to find self love and value and knowing I was enough.

I got the flu in December I was sick for a few months missed gym time . Then this now here I am , I lost my six pack and I’m trying to get it back but mentally I’m better .

So where would I rather be ? A six pack and broken or better and ten pounds heavier . I’m trying to find the balance it’s taken some time , some time alone . I see people partying and families but it’s taken a lot of healing for me and prayer to learn and to grow . I’m coming back better and stronger then I was last year . I’m attaching my picture from last year . Hopefully I’ll have the best Christmas ever and right back where I was and smiling on the inside !