True

It’s the grave we bury our heads in
As we pledge allegiance to whatever the crowd says
Am I enough
Was I ever enough to stand here
If I ever was the one to scream in the dark
I would say an indecision
Is no decision at all

It’s a violent love
The kind you don’t heal from
You stay somewhere
In the center of time .

I begin to get the feeling I’m a ghost
As I burn old letters but that’s not enough is it
I have a cape to
So why can’t I fly away from here

I sit in imagination
I thrive here
A place for the broken
But I’m healing here

It’s reckless
As the black touches my lips
As my dreams lie silent

I know you hear me
Screaming

But you are stuck in the night
Some say it happens only once

That’s why I’m here
It’s a violent love
The kind you can’t come back from

42 .

Well last year I prayed that I would become so close to Jesus that nothing could shake my faith . I wanted to strip sin away ( even though no one was sinless  obviously ) I knew following him with all my heart and trying not to sin was the only way to be as close to him as possible and learning his word and seeking him so I did. I want to do what it takes no distractions . I have not dated I don’t go out , and I don’t regret how I’ve spent the past year .

I will spend 42 in quarantine my birthday is in a few weeks . I’m also waiting on a call to see if I have cancer . I called today they didn’t have results yet . She said she would call if something was wrong
The office called tonight after hours at 7 pm I missed it some how and no message

It’s at this point no worry arose with in and at this point I realized God brought me here to this unshakable faith . I’m not afraid I have Jesus and Jesus saved me through death a hundred times he saved me from losing the love of my life and healed me from heart break he healed me from so many things I feel like a bionic woman so here we are almost 42.

I can’t die . I need to get married and know what it feels like for someone to actually love me and I know I’m called to do missionary work and I’m not done being a mom .

God has made me David and this world is Goliath .

I decided this year to rent a cabin for my birthday in big bear since the past few years my birthday has been pretty disappointing and ... I’ll invite my son and my sister.

A good relax is what I need right now . But over all I just need to keep my health going . Cheers to another year !