The Magician

It's like I'm drowning at sea
Hoping that you reach for me
I know you're there, but I can't see
'Cause I'm so drunk off tragic endings
I'm dying to breathe
And all you do is strangle me
Such a beautiful relief
'Cause I'm so drunk off tragic endings
Drunk off tragic endings- Eminem 

It’s a copper wire laying in a bed of water 

It’s my eye lash falling in the winter 

It’s my heart beating in the sewer 

You mock my time served with - you 

Spitting in my face 

As I grab your hand to save you from falling 

You slit my throat as I lean over for a kiss 

Now I pulled the rug 

You thought you were the great magician 

I’m holding these cards 

I throw yours 

Just the joker 

I’m the queen - 

There’s a bed I lay alone in 

But there’s no room 

For murderers 

As my panties lay wet 

Like paint on a wall in church 

I sacrificed for you 

You drove the nail through 

You set me on fire 

You tell me you love me 

As you hang me from the banister 

You think it’s ok 

And every excuse is one last breath 

Leaving 

Old diamonds 

Old dreams 

Shatter in the fire 

You laugh in the darkness 

As you blow away our ashes 

I’ve never seen such a murder scene 

And you say baby ? 

As you disrespect me ? 

So let’s play ring around the rosey

As I laugh at your stupidity 

How can you say you love me 

As I drowned in your sea . 

Painting

There’s something about a picket fence 

I’m always on the wrong side of 

And all the initials you carved on this tree 

Who else’s are carved on your bottles 

As you get lost with out me 

I’m a memory know one seems to hold on to 

Nothing important to do . 

I lay on the grass counting lost peices of sky 

Is everything going to be alright 

No one holding my hand . 

Always alone again 

I gave you paper heart 

Cursive note 

Read I love you 

As it blows 

Away in the wind . 

What’s one more 

One more night 

Forgetting about me . 

As I lie here on the other side of the fence 

Looking in 

Painted picture frames 

I’m never in . 

Sometimes I cry 

Sometimes I drive . 

When am I worth it 

To take my hand

Carve my initials on your heart 

I’ll be the Braille in your soul 

A moment you can’t let go of 

Not tonight 

Not tomorrow 

And I break 

Break this clock 

And all of it’s reminders 

Of you 

Miracle

So last night I was coming home with raigan from riverside Festival of Lights . We were almost home on the back road of Los Alamos road . If you know this road it is dark and windy . As I entered the back road Raigan was sleeping soundly in the back seat .

I checked my rear view mirror and saw what I thought to be a Porsche coming around the corner at about 150 mph

I know cars I love cars I raced cars as a hobby every day . I know what they can and can’t handle . This car passed me so fast I thought they were going to hit me I knew I would die .

They came with In a inch of hitting us . I called 911. I knew this car would not make it with out crashing . As I was speaking to the 911 operator I turned the bend and the vehicle was crashed on the side of the road it’s tail end in the sky and the dash was unseen planted In the earth and I’m pretty sure there were no survivors at this point I was glad I was already on the phone with 911 to get help they came right away .

I’m blessed to be alive . I don’t know what happened to this car I didn’t leave until help arrived . But you never know when something could happen . Thank you for saving us God

Dear Arsonist

The blind are broken 

Setting the world on fire 

Dear arsonist

Watch the ashes fall . 

I trade letters for regret 

Thank the Lord for my salvation 

I see you in my rear view mirror 

Laughing with your matches 

And I can barely breath 

I’m barely breathing 

As I’m escaping 

And there’s a difference 

Between the ones with hearts 

And the ones with none at all 

And there’s a difference 

With the ones with a conscience 

And the ones who pray to the Lord 

And I thank God for my salvation 

As your world is in flames 

And I can’t save you 

As you laugh 

I escape 

I’m barely breathing 

They say 

In the end times man will have no conscience they will steal , kill and destroy . 

Thank you Lord that I am not blind 

I am not lost . 

Thank you for saving me 

Thank you for your grace 

 Dear arsonist 

I leave you behind 

Trading you letters for regret 

So I can breathe again 

Blessings

Your not sure how it started your day but you know how it’s going to go . I leave the house with no money and change in case I need money in my gas tank . I pray to God I’ll make it through the day . My pay checks aren’t quite enough to pay all the bills much less Christmas and I’m relying on God to get me through the month . 

I make it to work and a friend is waiting there for me with a Christmas envelope and mind you I didn’t have food that day or the day before or gas money and I open the envelope to find she blessed me with 80 dollars how does that happen on a Sunday , when you have nothing to make it to pay day . God is good and so is my friend . Thank you friend . She has no idea the blessing you brought this week to my life . 

So Thursday comes along I been driving to Rancho Cucamonga every day for work so that money was gone fast and on my way home Thursday night my gas was on zero and my ex husband told me to stop by that night to get some money early for raigan he would be out of town 

What is the timing on that ? Thank you 

God . 

I sat at work this week with no customers and a man called he was a stranger and told me he loved the lord and the lord told him I was a compassionate person I needed to help people and I was wasting my time at my job . He was right I did have a passion for people . 

God works and this week it’s been every single day . I want to send a message to everyone not to give up hope he hears you , he sees you . And thank you to my friends who have helped I love you !! 

Death Row

The committee calls treason 

Do you understand the charges 

You sowed the noose around your neck 

As I held your hand . 

You whisper dying words 

I love you 

But I don’t understand . 

The jury has no mercy 

Your  always asking for just one more chance . 

Tell me with my lips as I kiss you 

You stab me in the heart 

And I reckon you knew exactly what you were doing at the time . 

Now the funeral plays on 

And you cry ? 

You like to watch me die 

In your crown of glory 

You hide 

Made of ashes 

Slitting the wrist of time . 

What is it you want from the dead 

To kill her once again ? 

Look what you’ve done they said 

Blood falls from her mouth 

Look what you’ve done they said 

You laugh 

It’s Just The Truth

I never believed in true love . Until I fell in love then I was shown that true love does not exist . 

It’s just a lie we sell ourself until we are used , lied to , and left alone . 

Love is not real . Between two people