HappYness

 I couldn’t make it up if I tried . I was promised a bonus at the end of February . Now that I get bonuses I can pay my bills just fine , as I waited eagerly for pay day ( you guessed it no bonus ) 

I fought with HR it didn’t make sense , I wondered what was God teaching me. I been barely holding on with my new job. Pushing and pushing bills until bonus time . Pushing my electric bill to now $700. I refused to get scared I just had faith . 

Why God . When will this season be over . Today was the last day of my eviction . No miracles came in , it was just and is me and God . Nothing else could save me at this point . 

This morning as I grabbed my shoes for work I felt something in the bottom of my shoe , I took it off , there it was a dead lizard ! I screamed . I’m guessing my cats thought it was lovely gift they left me . I’m never wearing my shoes again . 

 Did I mention I had no sleep I was up all night due to a seizure and now I was to go to work with a big fat smile on my face because I’m the opening manager . I have to lead with positivity 

As I drove to work I spoke out loud to God asked him why ? 

I do the run down , of biblical promises . It goes something like this …. Dear God , I try every day to honor you and to be thankful . I don’t drink or smoke or have sex . I try not to sin why are you mad at me ?!! 

Honestly I don’t have an answer except I feel alone and now I’m telling God as I lay here in my bed I’m scared . 

Where do we go ? What happens now ? How am I losing everything when I’ve always been the one to give away everything . 

Tonight I made a decision for my daughters sake to make a nice dinner and watch the pursuit of happiness , that movie hits home 

But now I ask what’s next . If you are reading this pray for us .