Crashed (1)

 

I am the sun that warms your face 

But you …. Stay cold even on sunny days . 

Rusted palms can’t seem to find home 

The real issue is , I loved you . But I don’t like sitting in the rain . 

It’s possible,  I’m your umbrella , but it can’t rain all the time . 

Maybe I wanted to be your savior and make wounds - scars … 

But you became the anchor . 

You broke my chest . When I wanted to be your rest ….. 

Now I’m a thousand miles away . 

I have no regrets . I just wished you realized you are more than what they left you with . 

2024

 I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions , I typically just go for what I want. I do know that I have dated one person in 6 years , and I have been fine not dating and being pure . I felt the past year God is going to send me a husband. Who ? I don’t know . I prayed for a specific person but it dosent seem to be going quite my way. 

In the mean time I’m continuing to focus on myself to being better so in the best version of myself for when he comes . Also my soul purpose these years I’ve made everything about my relationship with God and what he wants for my life and Raigan’s . That is what I will continue to do let him guide me . I know also I been helping the homeless I know I’m to do more so I will also focus on that this year !!! 

Let’s go 2024. 

Chances

 If you give it all , and they don’t want it , walk away 

You took your chance , you tried your best . But if someone can’t love you , you have to walk away 

U turn

 


You been there all along 
How is that you are not the one 
I’m a simple romantic 
Things never seem to make much sense 

But with you in this chaotic world I am 1 we are 2. 

So what now 
Is it now the road ends 

All these years 
You been 
The only one 

U turn - Amy Everett 

You been there all along

How is that you are not the one

I’m a simple romantic

Things never seem to make much sense

But with you in this chaotic world I am 1 we are 2.

So what now

Is it now the road ends

All these years

You been

The only one

And now I’m

Alone .

Where do I go from here

When nothing makes much sense And now I’m
Alone . 

Where do I go from here 
When nothing makes much sense 

 been there all along 
How is that you are not the one 
I’m a simple romantic 
Things never seem to make much sense 

But with you in this chaotic world I am 1 we are 2. 

So what now 
Is it now the road ends 

All these years 
You been 
The only one 

And now I’m
Alone . 

Where do I go from here 
When nothing makes much sense 

Misplaced

 In a world so certain I feel off these past few weeks, I feel a deep sorrow . I don’t know how to make it reside 

Except just trust in Gods plan for my life someone I love very much moved far away , the thought of never seeing them again has me really broken . 

I pray I can trust the path God has me on and to persevere in that joy . But I think it’s ok to mourn 

Maps

 Have you ever had directions for gps and when your driving the path is laid out before you. You are not certain what will happen along the way , but you can see the road. That’s been life. I been working and focusing on God and my daughter for the most part of this decade

Making it my entire purpose to be as close to Jesus as I possibly can. I haven’t really wanted anything else. 

All I could see was Jesus. The most past few months God has been saying I’m bringing you a husband. I have this vision of when you come to a destination or close it’s a circle of the area where you should be it’s so close. 

God literally said it’s like hearing footsteps coming down a hallway. So he opened my heart and I began to get excited . 

Who God , when ? I have people that I feel are my soul mates a strong connection for years . I would pray is it this person ? 

God is telling me to wait on him. I do know that the person will love God as much as I do. Sometimes we can love someone very much but maybe that person is saying I’m not your person . That has been really hard , sometimes I just break down and cry alone in my room 

As strong as I am every day, putting on a smiling face it’s not easy . It’s heartache. But I have faith . 

I’m here waiting 

For what it’s worth

 I’m in a waiting season . Not a long one I know but waiting. God has taught me to put him first. 

When your looking up at Jesus things are so much clearer. 

You might wonder why I’m writing about this it’s because I know there are many people in my circumstance ready to give up. 

I am waiting for the person who loves God as much as I do 

I am waiting for the person who loves me with every fiber of his being and can pray with me . 

I’m 45. God is saying don’t give up . I haven’t dated anyone. I’m only going to date with a purpose. I’m ready. 

Can you believe I’ve dated 1 person in 6 years.  

I know God is doing a work in my life. I don’t need to go out and hook up with men, or seek validation. 

I know I just need to wait on Jesus . 

Amen 

Burdens

 Satan really attacked me this past few weeks. Is that because a blessing is coming , I had a fallout with a friend that ultimately ended a friendship if you know me you know how forgiving I am so you can guess it was pretty bad . I was scammed out of every single penny I had saved for my Hawaii trip, food and bills. 

I was heavily disappointed by other things. I spent my day off praying out loud in my house. 

I am trusting in God to help me with my enemies, to help me get money I leave Monday and to just answer the questions that have been left undone . It’s a big leap of faith and positivity on my part . 

But really it’s all I have is Jesus . There’s nothing else 

Here I am on my knees waiting on you Lord in all this confusion and war may I keep the peace as you fight these battles and see me through 

Waiting

 

I’m 45, I’ve never had a wedding I never had a ring , I’ve been in the deepest love that brought me to the deepest parts of the ocean I almost drowned there . 

I know what it is to give all that I am for someone I also know that love isn’t always enough. I know that God has to come first , God has taught me so many lessons and I left everything to follow him I call it walking on water in faith 

God saved my life. I been single 6 years. I don’t want a 1 night stand I don’t want to date for fun, I want to date with a purpose . 

I never want to find myself in the ocean again. I’m waiting on God for the right person. About 3 weeks ago God pressed upon my heart that it would be soon. I can wait it will be worth it . God is first . 

I’ve always been an orphan to love,God taught me what true love looked like . 

When it comes it won’t be confusing 

I’ll know , I prayed for a specific sign 

I’m focused on Gods will sharing his word with the homeless and the lost 

Until then maybe soon he will send me the one.

Deep Waters

 I don’t have the answers . I just know I have to trust in God he has taught me that his plan is better and it’s bigger 

He has saved me from hell he saved me from death he freed me from myself and un forgiveness . 

Battles come where the waters are deep but he is the air I breathe . I wish I could get married but I have to wait on God for that too , God is my first love.

I I feel like I’m getting older and weary sometimes I think 

How much longer do I have to wait , but God said to remember Job’s story . I know it’s worth waiting on him . 

Thank you Lord for my blessings , thank you lord for saving me , saving me from myself . 

The Hope

 No matter how hard things have gotten God has blessed me. I went to Hawaii this year I’m going twice ! Last year I couldn’t pay rent. God provided me a new car , and everything I’ve needed through times that were impossible . I was reading over my old blogs of times of struggle crying out to God, in each season he’s teaching me something new . This season is not to worry. I tend to have a big heart and worry so much ! 

I’m learning to give things to God. Lay them at his feet ! 

I don’t need to be rich to be blessed . I just need to be able to pay my bills and be near the ocean ! Thank you God ! 

If you are ever in times of trouble have faith in God he will not go back in his promise be faithful seek him . 

God is not a liar , read his word ! Thank you Lord 

Falling Again (1)

 I’m I’m picking up stars from the ground 

It’s unusual the way I hear it 

Every word - why aren’t you here where you belong . 

I’m carving out our hello with my fingers over and over again . 

Tracing over forever . Don’t leave again . 

I’m sifting through crowds , never settling , always alone . 

We can talk through these conversations as I lay alone in my bed . But I would much rather have you here . 

You’re my anchor and it’s a storm outside . 

And I pray . Don’t let this slip away . 

Love like this only comes once . 

Once when it’s true .  I’m picking up stars from the ground 

It’s unusual the way I hear it 
Every word - why aren’t you here where you belong . 

I’m carving out our hello with my fingers over and over again . 

Tracing over forever . Don’t leave again . 

I’m sifting through crowds , never settling , always alone . 

We can talk through these conversations as I lay alone in my bed . But I would much rather have you here . 

You’re my anchor and it’s a storm outside . 

And I pray . Don’t let this slip away . 

Love like this only comes once . 

Once when it’s true .  I’m picking up stars from the ground 

It’s unusual the way I hear it 

Every word - why aren’t you here where you belong . 

I’m carving out our hello with my fingers over and over again . 

Tracing over forever . Don’t leave again . 

I’m sifting through crowds , never settling , always alone . 

We can talk through these conversations as I lay alone in my bed . But I would much rather have you here . 

You’re my anchor and it’s a storm outside . 

And I pray . Don’t let this slip away . 

Love like this only comes once . 

Once when it’s true . 

 picking up stars from the ground 

It’s unusual the way I hear it 

Every word - why aren’t you here where you belong . I’m picking up stars from the ground 

It’s unusual the way I hear it 

Every word - why aren’t you here where you belong . 

I’m carving out our hello with my fingers over and over again . 

Tracing over forever . Don’t leave again . 

I’m sifting through crowds , never settling , always alone . 

We can talk through these conversations as I lay alone in my bed . But I would much rather have you here . 

You’re my anchor and it’s a storm outside . 

And I pray . Don’t let this slip away . 

Love like this only comes once . 

Once when it’s true . 

I’m carving out our hello with my fingers over and over again . 

Tracing over forever . Don’t leave again . 

I’m sifting through crowds , never settling , always alone . 

We can talk through these conversations as I lay alone in my bed . But I would much rather have you here . 

You’re my anchor and it’s a storm outside . 

And I pray . Don’t let this slip away . 

Love like this only comes once . 

Once when it’s true . 

I’m I’m picking up stars from the ground 

It’s unusual the way I hear it 

Every word - why aren’t you here where you belong . 

I’m picking up stars from the ground 

It’s unusual the way I hear it 

Every word - why aren’t you here where you belong . 

I’m carving out our hello with my fingers over and over again . 

Tracing over forever . Don’t leave again . 

I’m sifting through crowds , never settling , always alone . 

We can talk through these conversations as I lay alone in my bed . But I would much rather have you here . 

You’re my anchor and it’s a storm outside . 

And I pray . Don’t let this slip away . 

Love like this only comes once . 

Once when it’s true . 

I’m carving out our hello with my fingers over and over again . 

Tracing over forever . Don’t leave again . 

I’m sifting through crowds , never settling , always alone . 

We can talk through these conversations as I lay alone in my bed . But I would much rather have you here . 

You’re my anchor and it’s a storm outside . 

And I pray . Don’t let this slip away . 

Love like this only comes once . 

Once when it’s true . 

picking up stars from the ground 

It’s unusual the way I hear it 

Every word - why aren’t you here where you belong . 

I’m carving out our hello with my fingers over and over again . 

Tracing over forever . Don’t leave again . 

I’m sifting through crowds , never settling , always alone . 

We can talk through these conversations as I lay alone in my bed . But I would much rather have you here . 

You’re my anchor and it’s a storm outside . 

And I pray . Don’t let this slip away . 

Love like this only comes once . 

Once when it’s true . 

What To Do

 This week I been dealing with a lot of people all at once in different places , times , spaces , telling me I’m not enough. Or better yet , I basically suck as a human being . It seems to be a theme this week . Also this week I made a decision to be more aggressive in my spiritual walk with the Lord and act more into my calling. 

As I sit here in bed I wonder , what have I done that no one wants to be my friend ? I’m not kind enough , or pretty enough,not smart enough. I’m coming to the conclusion I have nothing to offer!!

Then God reminded me as I laid here feeling very small 

That David felt small to against Goliath, and although I feel like I have 10 Goliath’s this week , it’s not about how small David was or the rock that took Goliath out 

But it’s about how Big God is. I’m something to him 

That’s all that matters .That’s the spiritual battle 

The things I wish I knew

 I wish I knew these facts when I was young , it took me years of pain and healing to learn them. I want to share them hoping it can shed some light …. 

1. A person will rip you to shreds for the mere fact that they don’t believe they are enough . So they will say anything they can to push you away , vomiting there brokenness onto you . 

It’s not your job to prove them wrong or save them. It’s there job to get healed . 

2. Don’t sleep with a man to find worthiness . Don’t act in such a way to get validation through sleeping with someone . If they love you , they will wait . If you don’t believe me , then you probably don’t believe you are enough . That is a fact . You have value . 

3.A broken person will see you as themselves . They will never see you for who you are . They only know their trama . Walk away . 

4.Do not stay with an addict . Unless they are in active recovery . Otherwise you are co dependent . Leave and get healing . They have a first love it will never be you

5.Some of the people in your life who are the most hateful to you are either jealous of you or in love with you so be kind . That’s a hard fact  

6.Never mess with someone in a relationship. Cheating and lying is never true love . It’s all a facade 

7. Do not date just to date . Date to marry . If you date to marry , you will wait . You will value your morals , yourself , and your time . 

8. You are enough . You have to believe that . Always put God first . 

One Step

 One step is what I say when things are over whelming 

I look at in whole , I think I must throw the towel in. I’m way over my head. My friend Tristan used to say one foot in front of the other, that amazing advice has followed me through tough times. 

I’ve had many challenges but the one I want to speak on is health. 2 years ago I was at a size zero. I was proud of myself and I worked hard for my body. 

Hours in the gym made me happy , running 3 times a day , had became an addiction. 

When Covid hit and the gyms closed I kind of freaked out. But I did work outs from home and managed but I felt like I was slipping. 

Pretty soon I wasn’t so strict with my eating. Then I was hired at a new job. Except at this one I sat all day and couldn’t leave for a lunch . My previous job I walked all day and went to the gym on my lunch break dedication - it was and my passion . Then last year my mom passed . I must have been depressed because I lost motivation . 

Fast forward to the long hours at work and 2 years later I gained 40 pounds. How did it happen ? How did I wake up one day and not  recognize myself. 

Who was I ? Where did Amy go. 

I was lost . I knew how to be fit but I didn’t know how to be fit and have my job. 

One day I was scrolling through instagram and I had befriended a health Coach . She had the same values and just seemed like a down to earth beautiful person 

I asked her what her secret was and I started on a plan with her . I was desperate . Being single I can’t hate me and I wouldn’t want to date me . So I put my trust in her.

2.5 months later and lost over 20 pounds . I’m not at my end goal yet but what a relief to be going in that direction.

I just wanted to share my story in case someone who is reading this needs a plan , and I can direct you to my health coach !!! 

Never give up no matter what problems arise and further more never give up on yourself ! 

Bruises (1)

 Bruises 

The strings fumble music escapes 

I don’t believe in happy endings but yet I pray for them 

If I rapped the right words to say 

Would you still go away 

Everything disappears 

No faces familiar anymore 

Yet I see you in my melt downs 

It’s why I stay so strong 

I’m in the dark where the snow falls 

But I remember what it is to be warm 

I call my self an orphan 

A child to the storm 

As you strum along 

I hummmmm ….. 

Can anyone hear the song 

Fingers bend 

Lost hands . 

Do you wear my finger prints . 

-Amy Everett 

Importance

 A few years ago when Raigan and I went to David’s Tent , I was called to bring her . God told me he had something in store for her . 

When we went an hour into the worship these girls from United hill song came through the crowd to give her a word from God . It was amazing . 

One of the things she said was God had her on his right side . I never knew what that meant . The girls also said that Jesus was with raigan when she was alone on the swings due to girls bullying her . I didn’t even know at the time Raigan was going through that!

How sweet is Jesus reaching out to her to say I’m here with you and I love you . He also said she was a leader and she was being raised up for his plan and purpose

It was not until later that I found this verse and it all made sense . 

Psalm 110:1 

The LORD says to my Lord: "Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet." The LORD will extend your mighty scepter from Zion; you will rule in the midst of your enemies. Your troops will be willing on your day of battle.

Sometimes we forget that God is not in the small details of life . But he is . And there he was saying Raigan you are not alone I’m here in the field with you as you swing in your sadness .  Raigan was only 9 years old 

God is love . I need to remember this with my own enemies , deceivers , evil doers . 

God has his hand on us it’s real . 

Conditions of The Heart

 Jesus says you know his people by there fruit . Did you know the Bible states that Satan is the author of confusion . Have you ever been a part of something or dated someone where things just didn’t add up . 

If something is of God you will see Gods fruit in there lives . Always remember that . 

 Version

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.Against such things there is no law.

Dear Jesus

 I remembered this moment I had with the Lord a year or more ago. I was praying as I was driving I remembered thinking how silly I was that when I prayed I always say , “ Dear Jesus “. 

Dear Jesus as I laughed at myself …. Who prays like that I wondered . God do you laugh at me ? I never thought about it but I been praying like this since I was a little girl . 

I said Dear Jesus , and prayed on about the stress of my day . 

Half hour later my mom text me said she had a word for me from the Lord . 

It went like this : 

( Dear Amy , )

I don’t honestly remember the rest I do remember it answered the question I had prayed about that day and it seems silly I know . But it really showed me how much Jesus really loves us . How much he listens to our hearts even if we sound silly he knows how much we love him and he is there to say , Amy I love you too 

I was so thankful for my mom . Devastated when she passed . God had used her often for words of knowledge for myself , I quite wondered who or how could anyone take her place . But God sends others . 

I do miss my mom greatly . But I wanted to share this message so you know your not alone God is always listening . 

Home

 Its been a while since I’ve written on here. But I’m here now. You know when you loved someone it do-sent go away.  You may not know what the future will bring but love does not die . 

I been single so many years . Trying to build a relationship with God and myself . Most importantly guarding my weathered heart . 

I’m not sure it’s up for any heart ache. I’ve had enough and staying safe has worked for me . But …. I don’t want to die without ever knowing someone loved me 

I’ve always felt like I was an orphan to love. It’s been my prayer for God to send me someone . But not just anyone . The one. I’m good with waiting . 

How will I know when he comes ? I imagine it won’t be confusing and it will happen the way God intends it 

But I am 44. So I pray he brings that person soon 

I’m independent and fine being alone . But I know I have a lot to give . I don’t want to re read this at 50 stil be single . Gods plans .