Catastrophe (1)

What is it to love a girl
Dressed in candy compromise
Holding my dress up
Can they see my face
Amoungst the crowd
Invisible  to him left like a broken
Child .

They said Anastasia was really a princess
As I look for the trains tracks
If I could get lost
I would get lost in you -

If I showed you my pages
Would you read them
Like your favorite ice cream
Sticky hands

Washes her away
What is it to love a girl
If I presented my funny shaped lips
If gave you paper cut heart

Lived life never knowing
What it's like
To be loved
By you

Crossing Fingers

I'm chalkboard half erased on this wall
It's me or them
It's you or this game of
Hopscotch and I'm never the win

Cross my fingers
Watch the ocean dress in the morning
I send you a note
Will you check maybe .

Is this the question
As I leave these sentences
One kiss under this tree
Carved out letters for you and me

My converse are always untied
My words are a mess
My lips puffy and red .

Here is my hand .

I'm not quick sand
I watch the fate undress in the evening
Will you kiss me good night

And I'll pass you a note
Say good bye

Half erased chalk
On your drive way
Unread letters , take my hand

It's all I ever heard
It's all I ever wanted

It's midnight now
I'm alone in my bed

Singing you this song
As you sit in your room
Can you hear it

Will (1)

Alice places her key behind the painting
Her fingers are torn
A split iris falls like rain as he passes through thoughts
Like a door way , haunted
Lost in a nightmare
Her heart beats in locket
Half to you
Half to me

Fate puts her dress on
I am the funeral now
Winter sets in .

You can't save her
She's invisible
The rain is falling
They walk by

The clock her hands are dirty
I see you
In my reflection
I see you in this song

A composer with nothing left
An empty audience

Dear Alice
Can you find your way back
Will he be waiting at the bottom ?

Connect

You sit under my pillow
Kiss me good night
Smeared on your memory
Erased by the morning .

Tell me where do I linger
On your lips in the evening
I'm the tomorrow
I'm yesterday .

More than white panties
More than warm embrace

I'm the wolf in the corner
I'm the girl in the shadow
I'm the heart in your fingers

Listen to the music as it plays ....
I'm the black widow
I'm the angel

Love me
Leave me
Either way

I'm not a game

Tell u ride

It's cold outside 

But warm inside your inbox 

Where one last message beats 

To the sound of the song playing 

On the winter air 

Maybe just maybe 

You won't find your pencil or your pen 

But the message still stands 

 Initials carved in old trees
Held together by its roots
And the courage
To hold on to dreams 

Maybe At All

Maybe if I was there where you were
You would've seen that I could've been the star in a dark sky
There's an ambition in the way light enters a dark room
And a fear of figuring out what went wrong
So the chills that run down your spine are better spent in your room alone
I'm better in the sky
Where I'm warm
Tell me friend , how did I fall from your ceiling broken and white
The one you draw dreams from
I wanted to be part of the clouds
That hang on your ceiling fan

But the story goes and goes again
As the chill runs down your spine
You would rather feel alone in your bed ....

Twin Flames

If I could tell the story I have 

Locked up in my safe 

Behind the painting over my fireplace 

I'd sit you down 

Eye to eye - tell you how I felt him 

From the inside the moment I layed my eyes on him 

I couldn't explain in it in detail 

All I could tell you is I knew him 

With out ever speaking a word 

With out ever saying our first hello

I fell in his soul / sounds crazy I know 

But there I stood as time as we knew it 

Stood still 

I knew in an instant he was mine forever 

I just had to have faith 

Because faith herself told me / his soul was telling me so 

And they begun a conversation from across a room 

I could barely sit still I didn't even know your name I knew I loved you / more than I ever loved before - 

That's the feeling I had the day I met him 

Mad (1)

Alice seems fitting
As she feels misplaced
Amoungst the daisies and the fences
She looks at the window panes
Seems nothing is left

Alice tell me the story
About how mad this love is
That far beyond time
It still exist

There could be an answer
He's looking through my window
I saw him yesterday
Sitting down below

I beg him in
Without speaking

Tell the devil
I'm here , and his lines
Run under my fingertips

So Alice
I wait at the door
The moon is hanging
By half nails and consequence

Tell me about this love
The kind you find under petals
Like the lost rain that  lingers in
The morning

And I will tell you
I remember the leaving
And the very first day I met you

Still

I saw you there in the snow
It's been half past 12
For a while , and it's cold

Do you know how the blizzard
Feels

I heard this song about a dirt road
Saw a stranger in my dreams
You knew the Braille on the wall
You carry a copy in your wallet

I sit outside
I waited .

You left it on the ground
Didn't you
The key to every note
To the piano

You begged me to play
Now sits at this funeral today

It was .
As the numbers fall
Bear no meaning
No rest
Contemplated death

I see you in the snow
But did you know
What my blizzard was like
As I sit missing hands
Missing piano   And key

The cross road came
I took the path that left you behind

You sit
In winter

Lost

Hurricanes

I wait between grey pages nothing's the same
No ones really here , I'm alone in the eye of the winds
No one reaching back for her hand

I run across oceans searching
No hope no faith no glory
Dress torn ripped
Sword fallen
You ask , have you given up yet ?

My eyes are black
My chest empty
No heart left beating ......

I rise above the storm
But will you rise with me
As the waves are as high as the eye can see

I stand here alone
The answer is bleak , hollow , void
Black smudges this paper grey
As I write
Not this storm
Will take her away

What's Real

I'm listening to the song vengance . I feel like I have something important to share I hope I do not lose my train of thought . I hope I don't lose you in it .
We are made up of energy , an electrical current just like an outlet if you will and the plug . Once two people are connected there is an energy coursing through . You can't stop it . It's something you feel all the time . You need two parts for it to be whole . People wonder about their twin flame or soul mate I will tell you , anyone who is not flowing with your energy is not your twin or soul mate , there in it for some other reason . It's so simple . There's no questions . It just happens . They don't want it to stop . I see so many articles , how to get him to love me ? How to get him to call ? If your reading those then move on !! Energy is real . It's another persons music only you can hear .

Also if your chasing emotion your probably dealing with an emotionally unavailable person
Just move on . Never chase after an emotion .

It's not about dating or friendship - trust me -

Agent Orange

Romantic poetry

Polaroid tells dark secret
Left on a corner of parchment on some napkin you drew my name on with yours circled in hearts
Long and lost forgotten
Left with stains of old lips and coffee from rainy days
Found on a floor -

You fell in love that night
Where were you that night

I'm a lost dream held by faith
I'm a ship wagering a mighty sea

Crumbling your paper between wrinkled fingers
This is where I begin again

My lips are heavy
Scars hidden under picture frames tired and bound by your song

As you sit in the diner
Still
Writing us on useless pieces of paper

Desolate

Paragraphs left un read
Fingers left naked and bruised
There's a story you read to me at bed time
Where the wind met the sun
Wasn't a cloud in sight
The fingers stitching sails
Peddling memory
And hearts -

Faith was the master
The captain
The rogue tore us apart

I set my sail now alone
With no answer
Black seas

I watch for the light
Forgiving through the darkness
Sending messages in a bottle
Teaching me to come home

I've hit every storm
I'm screaming
Lost in some open window

Do you see me
Do you hear me
In the song

Only I can hear
Playing out in the darkness

Paragraphs left un read
Alone here in this bed
Tell me how the story ends

Camouflage

light reflects oil canvas
She kisses the dead of winter

There seems tou be a keeper
Holding words in the palms of hands
As fingers break and houses thirst to be castles

Tell me , how do I find the secrets
Locked behind safes - on your wall .

I dress up in the dead of power
Finding only the coward
Losing his key in the blizzard

I run home -

Tiny boats sail across picture frames
No ones home tonight
She's invisible

I make every conversation into letters
As they disengage

I paint

Dear Alice (1)

Alice isn't breathing
She's lost in a sleep
Down the path she goes
Every road fluttering eye lashes
She runs.

Alice is in a coma
She can't forget
Her heart beats out of her chest
Like a drum

He is lost amougst the roses
She says
As she lies there dead .


Some say it's a tragedy
Losing everything all at once
I thought he heard me
She said

She lays there
Her hero lost in a grave of unforgotten
The cemetery holds one

Alice can't move
Does he move with out Alice

Maybe the forgotten grave is the bed she lies in

Resurface

See past white linen sheet
Bare past sunlight
Drowning under water
I left the message their
In that bottle
Did you see it ?

I pause the dice black table
I fall in the lake
It's night and I'm cold

I'm lost
Under blankets bare alone
Did you hear me
Under water

It was so dark
I can't see you
Can't feel you

When I touch
You touch me

Inbox (1)

Blue scatters like empty and lost footprints
Running down my buttons , turning my round eyes
Black , desperate in their attempt to find you -
Bring you home even if it's just tonight ,

There is a word for letting go
Like a hand torn away in the crowd
Like the child who lost his mother

The sky can't shine
With out the stars
Stars can't shine with out the sun .

a universe taken away
you are the stars
You are the sun
You are , you are .......

Blue scatters like marbles on the bath tub floor
I cry alone as the water falls .....
I sink slowly
Memories just a telegraph away
Saved .

Cold War

I almost died once , the only thing I needed to know was if you loved me . For me taking my last breath my heart wrenching in pain as I laid in the ER , my son crying next to me . Do you ever wonder what those people think ? At this moment I knew . What I always knew . We were like the movie big fish . One of my favorite movies . I wrote you that night in case I didn't wake up in the morning . I got no reply . This was last year today . Something that will always pain me . Twin flame I believe you are . Do you know what that is ? I try to let go but the deepest part of me holds on . Could you answer the question if you ever read this ? What does a soul do split in half I've never known what love can do until I felt the pain of your absence . Until I knew your presence . Your the king in this world full of fakes and pretenders . And no one loves me like you did .

Here We Go

It's 12 am . You think by now this would become a walk in the park , some. Tragic error I'm used to  the same old drill over and over . But as I watch my heart monitor once again go from 74 to 110 I know what's coming . Epilepsy sucks . I take my heart medicine it's not working . And im stuck wondering will I end up in the hospital tonight ? I don't want sympathy , it wouldn't even do epilepsy any good . Your alone in it . When it happens a fear strikes you , that can't be controlled . Will I die tonight ? Is all I will imagine . No one knows what it's like to feel that way unless you've almost died,that's the only way I can explain what a seizure is like . No cure . I only have mine at night . My days I try to fill with joy because my nights are full of terror . Maybe I'll get some sleep . Maybe I should blog more about epilepsy . So more people become aware .

love

Slip my fingers past my agony
There's white cotton caution tape
And I'm breathing you in my dreams .......

Grab my neck
Soldiers are marching in the desert
The devil dances on my shoulder
I walk the streets with the stars

I leave you here
I leave you there ......

I'm all grown up
My lip sticks red
Follow all the rules
Forget about love they said .....

Meet the pretty rich boys at midnight
Let them use you up and spit you out instead .....

Kneeling on the ground
Soldiers fighting at half past 1
Faith calls your name

Life hurts you said
But we chose who hurts us
And my decision was made

Alone in my bed
He's all grown up
Love is in a box
Red lip stick on