Wednesday, September 30, 2015

The Races

You are the hero and the killer 
Puffy red lips dream of kissing you 
    Good night 

No sign of you 

I tell myself in neon intentions nothing's left , as you sink my ship , nuclear she says , something you only see in those books you find in vintage thrift stores - 



And the gentleman come and go as fast as they say hello , they've got no chances 

She watches the horizon and she knows he's not coming back - 

Tell me , what to do with a love like that ? 
The quiet is noise these days , I'm so lost 
I here the music but it's not the same 

You see - it's not the same 

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Poetry and love

Poetry is a secret story between you and the paper . No one quite knows her secrets except the pen and the the air that dries her fragments and her lover that hears the lost good byes written for him tonight . 

I say poetry is best written as a lost letter written for her lover to find . But most poetry remains lost . That's why the best poetry is written late at night and the poet is alone . 

No poet will tell you what their poetry means . It's for you to decipher the hieroglyphics of words written for secret soul mates that lay a hundred miles away 
Under all these pages and pages and maybe just maybe you can take these words and cut and paste them into your world like music and sing along with us . 

I write mostly about a love I met a few years ago and said good bye too - 

He is my twin flame my 1111 . I think I write best when I'm loving or falling apart and he has me doing both . And that's just fine I write my best this way . 

I urge you to follow along on my journey and find yours as well 

- war commander 

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Conversations

If I could I would write the perfect letter 
To bring you home , 
I would tell you about how I drive home at night I think of you and stare at the moon , wondering if you watch it too . 

I would tell you how I lay in bed dreaming of holding you just one more time 
Wondering if you ever dream it too - 

I also wish I could just once hand stitch every song that reminds me of you , but it would be to many lines and to many words , you see - 

And if I could one last time I would tell you about how confused I was about your note , because good byes never come bye one way conversations between a lock and a key - 

So tell me because I know .... I'm not crazy , and I've been a little around the block , and a girl like me doesn't give love so easy - 
So tell me - when I'm a hundred million light years away do you feel me - ? 

When I tell you I miss you when I'm alone in my bed ? Do you hear me on my drive home at night tell you I love you when I search the moon ? 

And as much as I move on my heart stays back some where with you . 

Maybe you will never read this letter addressed to you . But maybe you will hear me talking to you on my drives home . 


Thursday, August 20, 2015

Never Resting

" In this world there's real and make believe , this seems real to me " - 3 Doors Down -


I can't see the other face of the world 
Standing in someone else's life 
Like rusted nails we're  breaking down 

The whisky runs dry - 
I see it written on the wall 
A Braille only you can feel - 

I push in the chair 
Leave 
You have no good bye 
Lost somewhere amongst the crowds 

Is she a face you see past the doubts 
As you run 
She waits alone in the bar - 

There's nothing I can do 
Nothing I can say to make you 
Understand 

She walks slowly to the door 
Do you remember what was left behind 

And I - 
Fall to my knees , 
Like a rusted dream it falls apart 

Braille on the wall 
I'm writing this letter to you 
I know you hear me 

Whisky runs dry 
No good bye 
Don't tell me 
I'm not 
A face in the crowd 

As she leaves the bar 

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Letter to You

I'm pressing forward 
But I can't move my heart 
I can't go on with out you - 

And I'm moving 
I'm happy - 

But I'm lost - 
It may sound crazy 
Me writing a letter 
About loving someone so much 
But I'm laying in bed dreaming about you -
Now that I'm alone in my bed 
With a broken heart 
Tell me how does one go on 
Knowing I love you so much . This isn't a poem you see . It's just me and these words laying here in the dark. 

As the tears fall down my face 
11:11 reads on the clock - 

All I wanted to know is if you ever felt 
The same . Do you miss me when I miss you ? You may never see this letter 
Or know - how hard it is to go on with out you 

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Are you here ?

Sometimes you wonder when someone lets you go , if it's so hard for me is it hard for them at all ? I can hardly stand it.  Checking my inbox and nothing . You want them to change there mind . I can't chase it anymore . If he loved me at all he would come back - I can't wait either - but in a way i do , in a way I always will - 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Twin flames

If I could tell the story I have 
Locked up in my safe 
Behind the painting over my fireplace 
I'd sit you down 
Eye to eye - tell you how I felt him 
From the inside the moment I layed my eyes on him 
I couldn't explain in it in detail 
All I could tell you is I knew him 
With out ever speaking a word 
With out ever saying our first hello

I fell in his soul / sounds crazy I know 
But there I stood as time as we knew it 
Stood still 
I knew in an instant he was mine forever 
I just had to have faith 
Because faith herself told me / his soul was telling me so 
And they begun a conversation from across a room 

I could barely sit still I didn't even know your name I knew I loved you / more than I ever loved before - 

That's the feeling I had the day I met him 
Written 7-2015

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Why It Does Exist

I have a very heavy topic to speak of . Will I ruffle some feathers ? May even lose friends and cause many conversations amongst the  young and the old .This topic is cause for great concern and critism , I will write from my own experience - add in excerpts from doctors , and most of all you may find  your self getting angry , but as you get angry - 

Maybe just maybe you may find I am right . So let me take a moment to put on my head phones , plug in my charger and take you on my journey .

I recently had a conversation with a close girlfriend of mine who said ," Amy , we have many soul mates ". She said ," don't limit yourself ". 

I used to believe this - I used to be a cinic 
I'm not saying she is a cinic . So here me out . I was at work last week , I sparked a conversation they said , " Amy , there is no such thing as a soul mate !" I felt sad inside . But just not long ago I was one of them . So let's start back to the beginning . 

All of these people are married . So keep this thought in mind . 
I want to keep this train going in the right direction so stay with me - 

Before we go further let's look at what a true soul mate is first ok . 

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely open and honest with who we are."

Ah, soulmates. The epitome of love and partnership. In our fast-paced chaotic world, which boasts all sorts of different people, we find ourselves skimming through more relationships than we'd like in order to find that one person who can truly open our locks.

Not just anyone can fulfill you the way your soulmate can. There's a world of a difference between your soulmate, your heart's other half and a life partner -- a person who lacks the elements to mold perfectly to you. Your soulmate makes you feel entirely whole, healed and intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.

Most of us remain in life-partner relationships because we "settle," for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, we may have a real subconscious fear of being alone. And since we're biologically designed to fall in love, it's only natural that we pair up in this world. But we sometimes prolong what are meant to be temporary relationships and mistakenly settle into them for good. There are relationships which must last for a certain period of time to close out a karmic chapter of life, relationships in which we're meant to have children with our partner but not necessarily remain with them, and relationships which are just plain confusing because a melting pot of emotions doesn't allow us to see our predestined path.

from couples who married their childhood loves to people in their retirement years who still struggle with commitment issues. Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes, meaning that we experienced several relationships before finding the person we believe to be our perfect pairing. Whether you're currently married, in a relationship, or contemplating entering a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you know what role this person will play in your life. After all, there's no avoiding the inevitable, often uncomfortable question we must ask ourselves: Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with? Or did I settle too quickly into a relationship with someone who can never complete me?

No matter the category you fit into to, there are several indications which clearly outline a soulmate bond (or a lack of bond) between you and your partner. As you go through this list, think about your partner or potential partner and evaluate whether they meet the soulmate criteria.


So here are the questions : 

1. It's something inside. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It's a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who finsh each other's sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.

4. You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other's imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

5. It's intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you're focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

6. You two against the world. Soulmates often see their relationship as "us against the world." They feel so linked together that they're ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soulmate by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on compromise and unity above all else.

7. You're mentally inseparable. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soulmates.

8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. This means that if you're a man, yes, your woman should make you feel protected, too! Your soulmate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.

9. You can't imagine your life without him (or her). A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can't imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. You look each other in the eye. Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other's eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.

Whether you're designed by the universe to be soulmates or two loving people who have settled for each other's strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours. The beauty of free will is that you can remain in or change any relationship as you see fit. To be with your soulmate is one of the precious treasures of life. And if you feel you've found your heart's other half, I wish you endless days of joy and laughter, and countless nights of deep embrace, unraveling the mysteries of the universe one by one.


Soul mate or twin is something that is true and real . Sometimes like stated above if we marry young or settle its not because we found that spiritual twin connection , sadly it's found later in life it causes confusion . But it doesn't make it less real . This isn't about lust . 

I myself only experienced it once in life . It wasn't even to the person I married . I thought I loved in life until I experienced this . You feel what they feel , you just get them . It truly is a twin flame . 

My point is if you have found it no matter what your circumstance , be happy it's out there  ..... 

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Caged Birds

There's 2 sunsets 
One is dressed as the other undresses - 

One is at the east 
The other the west - 

You watch the dawn , 
Wondering how to reach her 
As the stars beg for forgiveness 
You toss and turn under the moon 
One you call home 
One you call your dreams - 
One kisses you good night from across 
The sea 
One falls asleep - 

Churches

If scars had confessions 
They could tell a story 
Of nights full love and whisky 

It was the best thing I could ever remember 
Just as tomorrow reminds us  
Of all the nights missed 
Holding hands 
Slipping fingers past closed doors 
Reaching for one last moment 
Hoping it never passes away 

I don't care about tomorrow 
I just care about today
Because it's one more day
 I smile 

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Cuffs

Bullets hail down the hall - 
She laughs finishing her last cigarette 
Could you find her ? 

She's running towards you 
Down the empty streets 
It's dark , I know 
But she slows the rain 
For a kiss good night

As she climbs 


In her get away - car 

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Wishing wells

There's a toll he said - 
She asked him how much - 

He said it cost nothin 
I said nothins free darling 

He said my love 
I won't leave 

I sat at the gate 
Dropped my coins in the well 

Took your hand 

Watched him - 

Walk away . 

Monday, June 29, 2015

Seeds

There's a window 
Where your fingers stained clear glass 

There's me 
Watching the reflection of the future 
I can't see - 

Prints staring at me 
I can't see past them 

I see you 
Watching me 

Inbox blinks empty 
My eyes a blank screen 

Every song on the radio
Is a conversation between you 
And 
Me . 

I can't bring it back 
As the sun sets 

I can scream 
But are you listening ? 


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Current

You have stolen my heart 

Sitting beneath the sunset 
Counting shapes in the skie 
Searching for the silver lining 
Of living and learning - 

I fall asleep on an empty pillow
Waiting for what the world has for me 
I'm fine 

But 
You have stolen my heart -

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Bonnie and Clyde

It's a chase amongst words 
Half wisdoms - and could haves 
Hope weighs heavy on my shoulders 

It's Bonnie - it's Clyde 

I ride in the sunset 
My face in your hands 
I can't convince you - no 
I just wanted to be your home 

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Houses

I sit here with a bag of hearts 
Blaming myself -  there's no place like home 

I wasn't prepared to hold hands 
With fingers broken 

Healing in the snow 
Hold me one last time 
As I feel you breathing 

Brick buildings falling away

I sit here 
Head turned to the door 
I can't spell regret 
But this good bye spells your name 

I look away 
I can't change today 
Heart beats to yesterday 

There's no place like home 
Rebuilding is never easy 

I wasn't prepared to hold hands 
With broken fingers 

But what  you couldn't see was my feet 
Safely planted on the ground 

Here to carry 
You 

Now she walks alone 
Bag of hearts broken 

There's more to this 
More to never leaving 

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Swords (1)

There's the devil 
Sitting in his bed side manner ..... 

His grin catches the room 
Everything falls like sand slipping 
From an hour glasses throat - 

I turn to him 
He grins - 

We meet again - 
Tell me about the war 
As he tries to hold my hand 

I move past the shadow 
Into the light 

My blood violet 
Iris is an ocean 

I laugh 

As I continue on my path . 

Monday, June 15, 2015

Possibility

Across a broken sky 
Masked in umbrellas 

Lost in a maze - 
Pictures hang on walls 
Losing there gaze 

I search for windows 
It's raining ...... 

Find me here 
In this place 
Where trains they come 
And 
Go 

Where no one can hear me 
Run your fingers across my Braille 

I will watch behind your eyes 
As you keep my heart beating 

Suddenly I can't breathe 

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

No Good byes- tribute to gage seal who was killed at 15 years old

There's a hole  in the clouds 
Where you picked up my last smile 
Took it to heaven 

Did God realize you forgot 
We need you here 
Does he understand 

That every good night and good morning 
Has been lost in memory 

I can't forget it was yesterday 
When you hugged me 

Laughter catches fire and youre the wind 
Setting happiness to the world 
To the words wer'e left here to remember 

We pray - 

As you watch from above 
Nothing's the same 

The world cries 
Today it's raining .....

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Rapid

I collect finger prints 
Like old news papers 
From my hands 
Left un touched 
Un washed - 

Shaken . 

If I turn away 
Will you find the smile 
Lost in the ocean
Separating you 
From 
Me 

I whisper your name 
In a summer rain 
No one sees me there alone 

Dreaming - 

I wrap his jacket around me 
I watch you laughing 
But it's in my sleep 

As I sit here collecting 
Finger prints 
From hands 
Like old news papers 

Shaken - 

Left here alone