Some sort of secret

I bandaged my eyes
I cut a heart out
I handed it over
To find it on the floor

The messages punched and deleted

like a time card
Empty
Figuratively speaking

Detriment (1)

Scattered on a cold floor
Suffer chained to a concrete stone
She holds him under the water
Watches him drowned

As I'm left here alone on the bed
I can bring you home from the dead

Wake up
Walk
Like you never fell
The flies gather
Your an easy sell

Left to your own inadequacy
When you can remain whole

Contradiction

Hearts hang on old weatherd hooks
Unattended and alone
Sleeping to the noise of closing doors
And waking to the possibility of hope

12 months walking
12 lost
14 is the number of floors
10 is the number of my steps
Walking out your door

Instagram

It's arbitration time
Jury is out
It's hanging time
Just 365 days but who's the count
I read the lines
Nothing is what sits in perfect picture frames
I'm the stars you wished on
Never collected the grants

In the palm of my hands
She has a black iris
With out you she is dead

Veins run like paint
She sleeps alone
Empty picture frames

Sued

The buttons on my coat are worn
Thread stitch and lace panties
Lips red
Thrown across evening sunset
She's only there for a moment

Sitting in your chair
Afraid to move

Watching her rise and fall
With out your hands

I breathe you in
As you watch from afar
Your favorite sin

Until the dawn takes her again

Dragons

There's a bridge
Your on one side

I'm drowning in the other
I'm dressed in black
Ready for the funeral
I'm screaming
Your eyes looking ahead
Never turning back

I am dressed in night
I watch my light walk away
From me

A million keys breaking
I can't breathe
I sit here naked
I know you see me

Afraid to save me
Afraid of drowning

I am fighting
I am calling your name

You can hear me

Bottles At Sea

When the message came it was blank
Ink wet , smeared between lenses
Her lamp was on lips wet
She thought about it

He pulses under skin
Like heroin

Where You Are Is not my home

There's a stigmatism in the air
I can't quite see you clear
I'm aware you'll never read these lines
I hide behind
There's a coat in the closet
The smell of your shirt and a broken heart in my pocket
Where I saw you through

Now the Night is empty
And everything I see
I see clearly

And everything is nothing with out you
I hold on to my sanity
Keeps the calm from tumbling
But I still feel you

I grab your hand in my dream
I beg you to never let go
I wake up
Sleepy eyed and alone

The worst part is you'll never hear my song

13 th Floor

If you can hear me , speak to me . For your the only one who hears and I'm the only one who's listening .

Behind

Stories are courted in dialated iris
Secrets form in clusters beneath the surface
The light draws dim and fills with puddles ....

It's their in a corner
As it bleeds into everything
It's impossible to forget
Love
This love for you

Shatter

I couldn't recall the good bye 

Or the way you shut the door that night 

How the dominos fell one by one inside never to again be collected 

Just left a mess on the floor in the dark 

I couldn't recall any of it 

The only thing I remember was your light 

Entering the room that night . 

1000 Steps

I haven't forgotten the words of a hero 

That echo down my halls 

I can't find rest as I stare out my window 

Road is long 

Lost somewhere in your eyes 

Never finding home again 

As days turn into cluttered moths 

In a closet 

I sit in your shadow 

Broken heart .

Star necklace

Brush stroke smiles falling from Demons haunt my day 

A razor blade runs blank across my skin 

As I thought of him ... 

The way they walk from my arms into an empty crowd - 

Home is not a passing train , yet I'm left stranded at an old station 

Air full of scotch and last nights intentions 

No love - no star necklace as I fall into the sea , 

A boat so big - yet sails remain small ,

A heavy restitch - a thoughtless good bye 

No there isn't an answer is there ...

Waiting for the 7 o'clock train ... 

Luggage empty 

Private Life

It's December the years sand is running through my hands . I've fought so hard to not fail , to never fall apart . I have integrity and it's never repaid . I'm running in a maze where life wars with pain . 

Why did he walk away ? Why is there a cyst in my brain ? Why has this year been hard ? I pride myself on having all the answers , you know . I'm pretty smart when it comes to people , but today I have no answers . 

I'm climbing steps that are exhausting only to find myself on top of a ladder . 

I know I just need to pray and have faith . 

It's not a mid life crisis you see , it's just my life , I don't take it to seriously but then again , benchmarks do , 

Where do we go from here as tears stream down my face , writing to an audience wondering if you have ever felt the same . I know I'm not where I'm supposed to be , but I also know I've come so far , I'll get there some day 

4 Squares

There's a note left empty on the back door

I kept the t shirt and my hoodie that is left with your scent 

With all the umbrellas telling their stories in the rain 

I'm left alone in pain 

Your good bye a understated cliche 

And my smile you threw away 

Endings

The year closes her eyes 

I tell you , the scars are hidden under miles of broken bones and inked arms . 

She ask's me 

How to begin again 

I tell her time heals most wounds 

As I filter out the hooks and jackets 

Ready to set out amoungst  the rain 

As I kiss him good bye one very last time 

As puddles form beneath her feet 

She Braves the storm again 

Pardons

Archived it says , a thousand secrets 

Inbox flashing empty 

Folders sit under wire rimmed glasses 

Where every smile meets and cars drive by round cemetery track 

Control alt delete 

Sleepless

When I think about it I feel sick and can't sleep ... 

How to Know A Secret

This is the most real excerpt I will ever write . So pay very close attention . I want to say it because it's the most important life story I learned this year . I have thousands of readers here so I want to spill my guts ... 

This is a rare event I know . 

How do I explain it ? Mmmmm.... This just became difficult . I this year learned what true love is . There were no games , no lies ,  it just was . No worries of intentions , no who text or emails first . 

I'm telling you , listen closer ... 

When you open your heart to someone there is no bull shit . It just is , for good or 

Bad . You dig into each other and listen .  

Best friends ... 

If something is less than this , drop it . 

Period -2014

Hydrogen

Smiles crease empty iris 

Crowds shed light on empty conversations 

Nothing is heard 

Talking with nothing said . 

The wall stands tall 

Holding hands through cracks 

I turn , no one looking back 

A mirror 

Just like that .... Disappears