Winter

The cold stains her fingers as she holds what's left of her heart
Sleeping under the stars captured in a necklace dangling in the snow

What she has left of wishes is fading in the cold winter
As she patches the broken mirror together she sees his reflection ....

Yet she can't reach him .

The Crown

Blue stains the walls of her eyes 

Never leaving imprinted iris , a blooming heart photographing fingerprints on fragile soul stitched together 

Like shadows and untouched puzzles never knowing the picture only loving the color and the time spent together building kolidiscopes and sky scrapers 

May I write a fairy tale , where you rescue me ? 

The man in the puzzle is you and the girl you ask for is me , and you find that missing peice on the floor , 

And there you are looking back at me .

A dear diary

It's Friday night , there are two days left to leaving Audi . It's very emotional . For reasons that I'm saying good bye to much more than my job . I cried all the way home tonight . I don't do very many "dear diaries ". 

Transition - means : you see friends rise and you see friends fall . Also I feel him near me , I wish he would just write , but that's another story . 

There has been tremendous love and pain this year . The most extreme of both and so here I am alone on Friday night writing to all of you . I have made huge changes and I'm proud of myself . I don't feel them yet , but I've made them . I feel the hard part of change , but I know soon the reward will soon come . I have to be positive . Thank you to all my loved ones the ones who are here and proved to stand by my side ... Until next time 

Amy 

Comings and Goings

History goes black 
ink spilled in elementary notes and unused grammar of I love you , destined for hearts asleep on pillows that could never imagine the tears that fall for you , 

On lined notebook scribbles , waiting at the store , empty inbox, filled to the brim is four chambers of your smile and everything I could give , 

Of your beauty , the beauty of your flaws, your home was in me , if I captured a moment , I would take one last picture to hold your smile again . 

There's no other love . as this pen runs dry 

Love Song

I'll never get used to losing you

The Wake

I play  in the snow , keys stained by broken souls fallen on black and white porcelain ashes , foot steps crowd an empty dream as I wipe rusted drawn eyes 

It's left here in print with no proof of existence as the snow falls my brass buttons freeze , pink lips open in disbelief 

In the memory of this funeral procession

Of the final moment when I stood eye to eye  in front of you searching every moment 

To find one to grasp your heart so you would stay 

But you looked into my eyes

Then you looked away 

Compromise

There's a cost to sitting out the war

Nothing gained , losing everything with out ever holding on 

Regret echos the empty drive and the smell of  rotting defeat as the glass sits empty 

For another night left to rusted chairs sitting in a cold bar 

Speaking so clearly , and it's to late 

Waisted gains 

To return tomorrow knowing you will come home wanting 

Letting Go

It's that corner in the day , you live

I sit with you still , where I used to hold your hand 

Now I'm grasping your fingers 

Letting go is all of me , I'm screaming and begging for your ghost not to go 

A shadow of what remains , a vision that steals my soul , 

With you it was  real , I have to stop looking in your direction . Your not coming around and I know , 

The tears fall , as many as the miles you rest your head away and I can't , I sit here in the corner of the day , searching for your eyes , to tell me it will be all right 

Down to hands and fingers  , I look down and cry . 

The Passing

Grace takes my hand , another dawn follows me in her sleep 

Still he is not here and the days remain hollow 

The light stands still at the end of the tunnel and all I have is fate and faith 

And a little girls dreams I hold onto with notes crumpled and old . 

I keep them in a safe box beneath my lungs locked away . Waiting for eternity's hoping for his return 

Maybe another day

Negative space compiles over Picasso's best canvas torn down in a rage 

I converge to the road I drive aimless 

There's your eyes I center my gravity 

Nothing is everything lost now in broken days 

I wait at the door and nothing 

Faith sleeps with her mask on and I'm pounding down her door . Is anyone listening ?

I carry you in my smile , in the song and in every peice I give away and hold on to 

I can't seem to move . I can't seem to breathe you see . 

You are the lungs I used under the ocean 

The heart I used to find joy 

There is nothing apart from my day with out you 

As I let go I hold on , as I wait a little longer  

Island

I've tried all the alleys and the roads 

Something is coming at a cost 

I just can't shake the way you broke me 

Hammered me down to the floor 

Tell me since your long gone how your the only one who found the way 

Through the maze 

Left me standing here 

It isn't right 

You stranded her here , at this private sea 

A cast away 

I'm dead with out you its just a matter of time and it's ok 

No one you see ever found it , 

Held my hand walked the distance 

As I sit here now alone watching the current 

Will it ever bring you back to me ? 

Because there's no way back with out you , 

I've never been here . 

City lights

Composition of life extends her arms 

I ask her to talk 

She lights a cigarette , says honey I can't bring him back .... 

There's a hum to the city air it's cold and I'm Empty 

I walk under the lights , they whisper something about the night , I can't hear a word they say 

As I run out of breath I wonder where my home is .

And I write an obituary for the memories in my head , all the words I write never seem to be as great as the smile you left on my heart so I throw it in the trash instead 

I beg the stars to bring you back 

I beg this place I write for you to come home 

As I grieve 

As I walk these streets lost with out you 

There's nothing left I can do 

Nothing left to say 

You n me

Carry you with me in a song 

Shadow

Tide comes in , steals the dawn from my broken hands 

The tears stream and their used for your benifit , 

I walk the places we have been , and it corners the thoughts in my head . 

I can't get away . As far as you ran , 

It's midnight and I'm trying to sleep 

 

I'm waiting 

No ones looking back at me . I can't sleep

Snares

There's a broken sidewalk 

I trace the lines carefully , 

Cautious is the lions den 

Pacing back and forth for the lamb 

As he tries to pretend he is a King 

Crowns don't have to try to be made of gold 

As you come up a filthy penny . 

#enemies

Pages

I lay here on stage , 

Audience quiet , I hang my coat 

Toss the piano away . 

I'm alone , in a crowded room 

Remembering yesterday . 

Don't

Don't leave me here , I'm in love with an addiction , and I can't imagine this time while your gone , it's defeating me and she's in tears . 

There's a dream in the sky 

And only you could take me their 

Now I'm dancing alone in the night 

Dreaming you will meet me here 

So I wait in the dawn 

Across broken asphalt 

Watching for you to come and save me 

So listen here my love 

Don't leave me here . 

17 Days South

I'm sinking like a stone in the sea - The Brand New 

Half Past Midnight

The record plays over and over 

Same song same good byes , 

The story should've never been 

Written that way - 

I sit with the endings , the fabric of torn sheets 

Fingerprints smudged as they walk out 

Away 

From 

Me 

There's a pillow I lie on 

Where my dreams are asleep 

It's not what I had written 

It blows away in an empty wind 

I run fast to replace it 

Nothing seems as real 

There's always the consequence 

To risking the last kiss , captured in every poem that followed to the moment 

I'm lead to believe there is an untold story 

Of chasing dreams 

If he asked , " I found my self breathing in your breath , the marrow of the heart that pounded in her chest , grasping for his soul to come clean , " 

As he 

Escaped 

From 

Me 

I'm left with the story 

Of an empty midnight street 

Windows

The path is broken limbs on winter roses 

Sullen , black and have record of coursing vains that imprint 

Foot steps in callused snow 

She grieves the dawn , so she loses sleep 

Knowing it's another day your gone