Thoughts

No I wouldn't call this a poem , I'm just a simple girl . Who hides her emotion . And it all came crashing down to a thousand poems and I was ready to show it all for one person , and he said no . Forgive me for being a little angry and maybe I can be understanding , but I am upset because so many questions go unanswered and I was brave . I risked everything , everything I never risked before in my life . For a love I never felt before . For him to hide to run . So forgive me for swearing to much this week , or scrounging for change for my rockstar because I'm not sleeping or sleeping to much . Or crying or not enough or being numb or angry or sad . 

Or playing my music to loud or driving to fast . Or hating you because you left me with no answers , and I'm left here to move on . 

But at least I know I risked it all . Everything , if you only knew how much I risked , what I went through , but you didn't ask , your not here . 

Makes it not worth it ? 

That makes me Angry ...

Now not only do I have to forgive you 

But I have to forgive myself too 

Negative space

I entered into a vast dream 

To try to escape the reality of losing you 

And there you sat on my couch 

I held you again under covers 

And I laughed with you.

I was there connected through time

And space , holding hands 

Vapors of smoke a marage

Of everything I couldn't understand 

Doors I couldn't open 

Words I didn't have to say 

A clock that's fingers never pointed

I sat there in the room when you weren't looking 

I watched you 

In the midst of the crowd 

I took you in

I swallowed you whole 

For all that my dream let me 

Then you got up 

I ran searching 

I searched 

Tears ran down my face 

I found you 

You hugged me so tight 

Said , you made a mistake letting me go 

Then I a woke 

Found my self alone ......

My Letter To Him

Hidden Beauty - written by M.F.

The world is wearing a mask today

She's all dressed up in anxiety and paint

I'm sitting, waiting for the rain

To wash the mind away

And maybe in darkness there's a beauty

Maybe the kind that doesn't fade

And maybe with light comes the duty

To burn 'til the last eyes turn away

But my muse is hiding her face today

She's disguised in the tides that obey cruel fate

Who simply recede, with their fingers at the nape

Of her neck, I confess, there's something forgotten

Something long lost that

Still resides, right where we misplaced it

The sky echoes the sentiment

Thick and thunderous with discontent

Blindingly screaming at split-seconds

Where we trafficked our dreams across these sands

I was there when the fire was lit

Bare and waiting for you to notice

The space in this world where we might fit

A thousand poems into a moment unspoken

I'm still writing them

Still deciphering the impact

Where the sand is glassed and cratered

And charged with your scent

Where my heart was steady and sure

Even if my eyes couldn't see it

But the world is wearing a mask today

Something's somehow different

And I can feel the last few waves

Encroaching upon my skin

And I know in this night, there's beauty

I've tasted it, been regaled with tales

Of how so many have wasted it

I refuse to be the sum of them

Refuse to let the world sink in

I'll be the waves that crash on the rocks

Before I'll be the current running from them

I'll be the rain that frees you from the thought

That any dream should remain hidden

I'll wash away your mask today, show your face

That you'll know you never needed to go

And paint over it.

The I Can

There's a stack of books

Empty pages 

I read line for line 

Empty . 

It tells me everything . 

Run far , as far as you can tell 

I write the story behind your eyes 

As you stare from across the room 

I grab at everything in between 

In desperation 

I throw your library in a fire 

A concentration camp of anger 

Let me re write your story . 

As you kiss me 

This trail of gasoline 

It's everything 

To be afraid 

Of what they always said you couldn't be 

Let me show you the way 

I'll come a thousand miles 

As you stare from across the room 

With all the regrets and I'm sorry's 

Let's make it more 

Re write the story 

You were always meant to be 

Corners

There's words that fall through cracks 

And sounds that no one can find 

And a sheer panick of lost hope 

My stomach aches I feel empty inside 

There is nothing that can save me this time 

I can't love hard enough 

Or hope enough 

Or have faith 

I'm just lost 

With out a song 

No piano plays 

It's just silent 

Endings

He looked me in the eye 

Asked if I was going to cry 

It took everything in me 

Not to fall apart in his arms 

Beg him not to go 

But I knew he wanted to 

So I had to sit in dead silence 

The Great Loss

What can you say about loss 

Beating heart 

Streaming tears 

One love 

One life 

One instant 

Gone 

Death 

The Answer

Telegraphs are written through smiles 

Across cold rooms 

Becoming warm and emptied out places 

 

Made of fabric woven from memory 

Stretched beyond pain and fear 

It interferes with the picture we want to create 

So we wonder how do we cut that away 

There's a time table to death 

A millisecond until it all ends 

I refuse to live life in a coffin 

Every nail bent 

I can tell you the secret 

If you come close 

It's called equal value 

Back and forth 

Continually working at something 

If it's not equal 

Then find fifty plus fifty 

And it ain't ice cream 

If you know what I mean 

Code

I think a writers code 

Is written only for the elite 

Who can read the Braille of the soul of her pen 

And those who can comprehend her 

And seek her 

Get to sleep in the belly of her heart 

Picasso (1)

Writing mends broken beauty 

Like port holes into stained glass windows 

Making ashes to hearts again 

Setting fire to the past 

So let's breathe 

I walk on the water 

Trying not to drowned 

My enemies try to distract me 

Mocking me

I laugh 

There bellies full of guile 

My path may be unsure 

But I'm moving forward

I catch the first train 

To where ever holds my dreams 

If it isn't this 

It will be that 

But it goes on 

It's a canvas 

Life's drawn in 

Wish I could paint it in ahead 

Call me Picasso 

But I'm just the writer instead 

Notes

Strangers pass 

Nodding morning gestures 

I congratulate them with a smile 

Every hello a tourniquet  

For today's wounds 

Chasing Alice (1)

I found my self in wonderland 

Don't want my feet to hit the ground 

Is it real or is it pretend 

No turning back now 

There's a hallway I'm lost in 

Not a door to open 

Not a road to drive on 

I'm running still 

Hold my hand 

I'm upside down 

I'm falling apart 

I'm put together 

I'm sitting at the table 

There's no turning back now 

Hold my hand 

I'm lost 

I'm found 

I'll survive 

I hope your the door 

I climb in 

I hope your the bread 

makes me small 

And down we go 

To chase our dreams 

I found my self in wonderland 

Don't want my feet to hit the ground 

Come with me 

 

Station - love this poem not by me

A moment

I want to be hidden in you 

Where only I can see 

A special place just for me 

I want you to be hidden in me 

Just for you 

Where only  you can see

The Hunt

There's a calm below the surface 

Everything is held together by needles and thread 

I walk amongst a busy crowd 

Yet she's alone and the world is quiet 

I hear them whispering my name 

Which way to go 

I keep moving forward 

I'm not here to convince you 

It's you who should be convincing me 

I'm not chasing the treasure chest 

There's a map 

And an X to the gold I acquire 

It's here for the taking 

If you 

Take it 

So I rest 

And wait 

For your voice 

And your words to bring me home 

To your arms 

And I ask you 

To save me with your smile 

Surprise me 

Hero 

With your devilish smile and your cape 

Christina perri - arms

Xerox

There's the surface we climb on 

Speaking to without explaining 

There's us , just happening 

Like a whisper and a passer passing by 

Waiting for an on coming train

There's just a chance 

One chance 

I'm not a beggar 

I'm just asking you 

Not to say good bye

If anything 

It's your eyes 

Your words 

Your smile 

You 

Me 

Can't be copied 

Grace

I thought about her today 

As cotton candy and peaches 

Conversation runs like Peter Pan 

And the wisdom of important chatter fills the room 

There's a smile in her that hugs my brokenness 

And her song puts my lost dreams to sleep 

Her breath breaks my skin 

And I want to save her from everything 

Intent

There's a fabric between finger prints 

In the dark they lie quiet on your skin 

Scarlet letter drawn in black pen . 

There's a ghost 

Your shadow 

Keeps her alive when your gone . 

Pushing a smile above the surface 

Capturing her grace 

I'm fixated on this canvas 

He is the picture I can't finish . 

I've got every paint . 

There's something to a forest 

You get lost in 

I fall asleep in

It's midnight 

If I could feel it 

If I could hold it 

If I could paint my finger prints 

Down your spine 

Asleep in the fog 

Trying to finish what I started 

 

The date is going to expire 

As she's left on the shelf 

So I write this letter to myself 

Empty pen 

To hold 

Him again 

Secret

We're stretched out soldiers 

Running amongst the city 

I know your secret 

You don't have to tell me 

The tide is getting stronger 

To take me away 

From you 

What you want 

You have to reach for 

We're stretched out soldiers 

One word 

Makes all the difference 

No need to whisper 

Before I'm taken away