Intermission (1)

Rust compiles into pages
Empty glasses write when I no longer can.

Alice grows.
Can no longer chase the rabbit, nor feel the cold wind blow.

Crawling fingerprints break , glass scrapes
I have made it around the bend.

A new story , I have found beyond the stack of cards
The cat sits in his tree .
His grin abounding

They thought I would drowned.
Upside down hallways
Braille letters left in stone.

Wax museums of hearts
Where mine has not been left.

The clock spins forward and back.. forward and back...

Shake hands with the devil, Thanks him for the glass of wine
and say good night.

I escape this time...

The coffin is open, The treasures are far beneath the ocean
The war commander sets sail....

Jesus in one hand , her cigar in the other....

  

Soldiers Will

Drive
the hour glass
Pounding white lines into tears
As he screams .. I whisper ...

God help me...

There's a soldier.

Lost inside me.

Buried under someones memories

I pull over

Black streams to puddles
beauty fades to your fingers

thrown in an ocean
One man's loss
One man's treasure

Blood was spilled for me..
He whispers back...

Half cocked smile
I get back in the car
He says nothing can take my place.

I whisper,
I feel you.

The phone rings...

My stomach
aches,

Voicemail.

Live by clarity.

He screams he never loved me...

God are you there?

He answers..

I love you....

The Crowd

Conquest makes a fisted presence
through broken bone.
I have all these promises
I fight them alone.

funny red lips
empty mirror
closed buttons.

A thousand prayers.

A voice in a thunder storm
where you swear no one knows your name.

And she is standing
against the train.
starving for the chance to start over again.

The beggar asks for her change
but what he does not realize
is that she is more the beggar than he.  

The Scars

There's a door
stained hinge
Pulling me close
How do I close this open window
to every finger print
that brought me too
this quicksand?
I pray in my car ,
no one sees me cry.
As I leave his straight jacket voice
does he hear my prayers.
I look in the mirror ,
I'm not where I once was.
I'm stronger
I'm weaker
Covered in strength and fear.
I fall asleep alone with my lullaby smiling back at me
Generations of mistakes
This door handle full of blood..
A wounded warrior who wouldn't quit.
But there is no one on the other side fighting to grab my finger tips...
She is screaming in the car..
The music plays loud..
How do I make scars laughter again?
How do I make the demons run away?
I pray for my Angels to protect them as they sleep the night away...
I slam the door..
I know God is here..
The radio says.. The lion roars...
Just tryin to erase the tears...
Rusted hinge..Is any one listening?
Do they understand?

Cards (1)

Cards..

Alice pick your part

I keep waiting....

If I could I would get an old GTO

re write every promise in smoke

Watch them fall like ashes one by one...



Scarlett letters bleed into empty promises

The Ace pretends to be a King

I fold........



One hand

I threw the dice

You left the table



The labyrinth we mold out of cards

Gambling dreams

Speaking truth as it leaves your mouth it burns....



How do we believe

When you raped me of everything I knew



I am the devil you never want to face eye to eye

I am the angel who protects under perfect wings

I am the soldier who won a thousand wars



Alice speaks

snow falls

She is laughing

She is swallowed alive



I write a script

I know every word by heart

Ill sing you to sleep

And poison your heart at the same time



An abortion of hope

Cut the heart into pieces

Love rots



My veins run cold

I ask Jesus for advice

He says..

Darling don't believe the lies



My world becomes small

when I thought we were big

I dance at this funeral

You say it's how it was supposed to be

Never felt that way .....when you were holding me.



Trade a secret with me

Ask your heart to be free

I read the Braille on the walls of your trench coat

that used to protect me

Whats it like to have a voice?



I am a Scarlett letter

I am the seine

in your shallow sea.



Never had a chance

Who can contain me?

Straight Jacket

Straight Jacket voice charms the mind
As I sit and stare at the ceiling tonight.

There is no going back this time.
Blame sits on your shelf
In a pornographic world full of hate
It's all a mistake
I was just the cloud of smoke you created

I lay here with a million winning tickets
and you have a million losing ends.

A spine cringes as you enter the room
you have your illusions
I have these gates.

So I toss my cigar in the ocean
Pull the anchor
It's the last you will see of this Commander any way.

Soul Mate

Twisted around metal conclusion
Ripping my bones from your pillow
hiding the pools of blood as I shed tears in the bathtub

hollow drain makes for eyes
I feel the cold inside
Waiting for someone to save me tonight

I see beauty in a picture frame
there never mine.

I reach for your fingers
but your to far away.

I crawl in the dark
searching for the heart
but its never there...

I whisper in the rain
I hear nothing
I wait for the story -

Of souls touching.

Instead...

I hear sirens,

He says, " She isn't breathing."

I say, " Maybe she is....
 

Transformed

The love affair begun
When I was salvaged from death
And He said,

I Am.

I was traded on the black market
lied to and told I was worth the weight
of fools gold.
My bones were trampled down to the soul.

But then from the grave He came
I wear his love on  patches, stitched on my heart

I will sing his anthem
There is nothing in this world that can keep me from the truth


I have a love affair with my Jesus.

If you need to be rescued
all you need is salvation.

The Day We Met

The Day We Met

I held the hand of the desperate boy
with dirty knees
I cut out a paper heart
until you were ready for me

But your valentines box always lied empty

I was a little girl
With skinned arms
my dress was dirty
And my father held my hand

I wanted to cheer you on
with my kiss on your cheek
before the pain begun
before you tried to fill your box with rocks
so love couldn't get in....

I told my father it wasn't to late.
I watched you sit on the play ground alone and sad
And you threw the paper heart away.

I couldn't understand it,
I cried alone in my room
My Father said , not to worry
With Him it will always be ok.

But I want you to know,
the day I gave that heart to you was the day
I gave my heart away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMv4NkSq2tg

Wonderland (1)

Raised inscription tattoo the bone
letter sent by hand shake
echoing the message in guilted button frame

As you hug me on my door step
pretending the bruises made by your voice
don't hurt as much as if they happened by fist,

Tell me , how the story ends
When Alice has come to resurface
she finds solace.

She is not a  martyr .

I am not a friend
I don't fix  broken mirrors

Fly away butter fly!
I am reminded as I stand
I see caterpillars ,

Joker

Prescription tears settle at the bottom of this bathtub

I think of drowning.

Will It separate lie from heart?

I do - from never again?

The throttle screams

down empty streets

as does the empty window pain

my eyes grow tired

another night

caught alone with out you again.

This is when I'm severed from the bone.

when the dot separates from the I.

Nothing makes sense this night.

You are not my wife!

You are not my wife!

I am folded on the floor

one deck of cards

you play a hand

I am less the joker

I was a god

before you came in.

Prescription tears settle at the bottom of the bathroom floor

"It's to late to save her" he say's

but it wasn't his fault !

it wasn't his fault !

he say's

I was out

starting over again.

Formulas

Plastic bottles fill empty promises
rage takes a stance from across the room
I am numb now
sleeping in my bed

hopeless swings across the ocean for a phone call
I listen
static clears
pianos bring peace in the distance

I hear the hollow cries of peach cotton candy
she reminds me not to see this glass as half empty

I hear the sirens in the wake of the storm
I remember it's just angels and devils..

Angels and devils..
We always win at this game of baseball..

Stings- these tears in the rain.
I'm up again to bat.
no one at home.

She cries in our bed.
I sing her every lullabye
to find some sleep tonight.
I find her a kiss , I pray to heaven
As I unravel, short thread
long needle.
I hear him screaming..

I promise love it will be alright..

The Last Journey Ends Here- Dealing With Bipolar Spouse

This family rest in a grave
Tears buried and screaming
Can anyone here me
Through the  miles of his lies
There's the symphony she is playing
Gathering one by one
They wonder what it was ............

I have folded
on this journey

As his hand rest between cotton and determination
His knife slit the soul of this heart
as he sits quietly mocking
black eyes.
My white dress bleeds
 

What is there of a man with no conscience
lining us up one by one
apologizing as he fires the gun one more time.

There is no promise to this story.
As there is nothing

I pray , I pray as he buries us for the last time
My tears drowned the box we lay in
The sorrow is more blue than any rainbow I could imagine.

I can't imagine this evil creeping in.
I hear the symphony play as my ears fall under  water
As I sing my children a lullaby
I tried so hard
I prayed so hard
Save me now
I am drowning.
But there is no one here this time.

And there are no more lullabies.

Quote from her Personal closet -Amy Everett

The light shines through the filthy canvas

paint hasn't been here in years

"I forgot what it feels like to be listed in an art museum," she says.

"You will never be left off the mantal again," he says.

For My son- The Passing

The black hood draws shut at the foot of the room
I close the door
I cant reach you
Im sorry they hurt you.

If you could see
I live for you
I protected you
And Im sorry.
If I could take it all back I would
I would take every suitcase you had
And burn them away.

Every ounce of pain.
SO many hurt us
and walked away.
It wasnt to our measure of worth son


It was their own.



I see you
your earphones are on.
If I could I would rip out my heart and give you my own.
So you would know you are not alone.

If you can please forgive me.
I should have protected us better.
should have never traded beauty for a storm.

Im praying for us while you sleep,
God will get us through the rain.
Just know how much I love you.

And I never meant for you to have so much pain.

Dandelion Threads....

>
> I here the alarm sounding in the distant sunrise
> I should of ran so long ago
> But I stayed.
>
> You asked me to believe
> You cried me to sleep.
> Now I am here standing alone,
> Nothing left but a pillow
>
> I throw questions in the wind
> Along with the anger and broken promises
>
> I blow the dandelion
> Watch it's beauty as you spit in my face
> On this cold rainy day.
>
> Did you know
> I heard the wind long ago
> She tried to take me away from you
> you held on.
> And cut me to peices
>  all at the same time.
> I gave it all
> gave it all
>
> you owned this childs heart
> cut out perfect waiting every night
> I lay here as you spit in her face.
> The only rain left is the rain from her face.
>
> You had to tear her to peices
> til there was nothing left.
> she bent forwards and in half
> wrote a love note in a bottle hoping he would come back.
>
> Every gift , every promise a diamond shattered and carried away by the sea.
> she sings a lullabye so she can sleep.
> watches beauty fade
> and every dream drowned under the weight of the sand and tide
>
> She was on her knees
> she was briused
> she sacrificed everything for you
>
> We both did
> Then he spit in my face.
> washed away with the winter rain
> not sure how long it will last.
>
> But I pray Jesus takes the pain away.
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nATpNWlo-ak&feature=related
>
>

The Great Resolve

Composites slit open stills reeling my veins into your corpse
I can’t keep you alive- I’m drained .
Iris shot from blank gun
I sit on this coffin
You lay on the ground laughing
I sacrifice who I am
You reach for the wrong god.

I pray as I reach for His thorns
I feel His hands they grasp for my own
I know you feel me
You call my name

What is left as you make whole again
But do they see the great sacrafice you have made
That I have bled for thiere mastakes?

I am divided
The beggar claims a martars case.
The wisdom is granted for a wolf in a sheeps cape.
As we wait the trial and jury of his fate.

With nothing left but crowns and thread
Look to the King
To be brought your life again.   

To Change It All..

Life sends clutter that sends an astounding noise that echos through our days that we forget we operate on what we have learned merley from our past and not from our life experience. Or what God has taught us . The back stage has been reborn , the scars renewed and we are now the writers of our very own play. Yet pages of old greif stricken novels hold us back and stain our new pages rendering us from hearing our new loves voices, our childrens cry for us to listen . As we scream in our kitchens, hide in our 9-5 jobs. We forget where dreams come from. We forget that the small hearts that look to us for new moments and new dreams are smoldered by grime and empty side walks. And we remain selfish and full of pride.

I am just a writer, who observes so many children who got lost by the way side. I hear them amoungst friends, they talk about how there parents don't love each other any more, or how they are so busy fighting they don't see them. And there parents say theyr'e children are just fine. These kids are 5, they are 7 maybe 13. And they are smarter than we are. You see there pages have not been torn yet. We havn't had the time to do that . And so soon we forget that are sails arn't broken they have just given up to the storms that rage around us.

I encourage you to become 5, 7 or 13 again. And begin your story again. Walk backstage and re write your play. What would it say? Where would you go? What would your children see? Would you hide? Would you be afraid to love?


Yes I am just a writer. But I encourage you, to open your hearts, your ears and listen. And re write the story again. Before it's to late. .... And throw the old story away. Where it can never be read again.    

Where the strangers Go.

There’s a stain on my glasses

I thought there could be an audience

But God holds on the line.. He said, Girl it’s his ship this time.

There’s a flurry in my belly

And glass instead of wine.

So tell me, What are we fishin for this time.

As the crazy runs out the door

Were left alone once more.

And I know the decision is clear

God holds - he  hands me a line

And I write it down- one last time.

"There isn’t a man that belongs to you with a double mind. "

So I follow the leader that is left

Write one last poem without regret

I hear the frogs

So Lonely in here

And the Dr. says,

What kind of man was that.

Cupid

Broken arrows pile where cupid fell long ago

I sit beneath the tree where time forgot me

To only read A story.

Beggars walk by with nothing to give but pennies.

And I have my cup out for change.

I saw redemption , she wasn’t on her knees

I felt love but it was in a cage.

I saw bravery through a coward

And a fight through broken battle lines.

I am broken

I am commanded

Gun warm

Bruised.

I walk but not alone

Scratched iris but yet not blind.

Looking for the beggar

To give more than his cup.