Cupid

Broken arrows pile where cupid fell long ago

I sit beneath the tree where time forgot me

To only read A story.

Beggars walk by with nothing to give but pennies.

And I have my cup out for change.

I saw redemption , she wasn’t on her knees

I felt love but it was in a cage.

I saw bravery through a coward

And a fight through broken battle lines.

I am broken

I am commanded

Gun warm

Bruised.

I walk but not alone

Scratched iris but yet not blind.

Looking for the beggar

To give more than his cup.  

Tori Amos - Pretty Good Year

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpLCFph9iv4

Life In A 10x7

Found some new material
Layin around in my pocket
Behind some lip gloss
Where my life is packed in that 10x7

you  smack me and smile

No lookin back-

I hide the tears behind yesterdays sunglasses….

It’s me and you kid
Alone again.

This pop star beauty


And no one’s looking back at me
Except this one page mirror glass
Broken in the back seat
As we drive in this get away car you wave good bye to me.

Have you got a clue?
I manage a smile
As I walk room to room
Of a broken home
I once new
I escape from the nursery we called our home




I fall to the floor
Where every tear echo’s
I gather myself together
And I leave the keys.

The Tin Man

Crows circle above

As I trade the tin man ,for whisky and a light.

An Eastwood film , I ride through the night.

The men are dead here

Eyes have no form

Hearts- Gone.

I never belonged in such a place.

A canvas painted amongst such storms.

 

I wrote Broadway

Couldn’t perform

Puppets on strings

I hate Pinocchio.

Tell me where to ride too

Where the land isn’t quite so cold

Tell me where to fly too

Where the truth is told.

Tell me.

As I search beyond this lantern

Filled with sand.

Falling through your mad hands.

A Letter To Grace (1)

Patchwork blankets coat smiles
Tell me about dreams and pink daisies
In a world of black hurricanes and rainbows.

I will sing her a lullaby something about  a  pretty good year

As optimism stings the night air
We suffer alone – Marching with angels clamoring for joy
“We can make it ,”  she says

So I grab her hand and my prayers

Darlin here we go again
Ill build you secret windows and capes if I can.

Can you feel me from inside reaching –

The line is wearing thin
But the storm rides on
You bear my strength in arms
Frustrated by the cold

Eyelashes and freckles
Under layers of flavored ice cream
"If angels can -we can"
She whispers , as we fall asleep.

Bedtime Story

She’s just a tornado with skinned knees

And a pink dress

She has some sort of ship

And a direct line to God

Lines static

She can tell a good story

But the commander is tired and the rain sometimes , it sometimes never stops falling.

She will tell you about the boys and how they are cowards with swords

And maybe just maybe she’ll tell you that the ocean is a grave yard full of their bones..

There’s a girl with those unusual lips and dark brown eyes, and they all say she is beautiful

But she won’t believe you , because those boys.. those boys..

She has a sailor she calls home,

She has grace to keep her calm,

And she fights, yes.

But if there was a lesson to be learned

It’s in the stories she writes

But we are soldiers hand made by Kings

Is there anyone listening… the line is static…   

Over Coming Abuse

I shuffle through torn pages with words smudged , hardly reading material . These excrement’s are what is left of the memories of my life. A mere shadow blown across the distant time and passages as I listen to Finch  - Ender, play on the computer.  I browse back and forth effortlessly through time in no order , but it goes without forgiveness, The hands I held in the moonlight in the ocean ,naked under the moon, and one innocent kiss- you think  could last forever but ends, with one summer.   As I released everything we were in 5 years – I course forward through time… Stretching thin –dragging a broken heart with me.  Years go by. A marriage ends.  To harsh words and a man in a mask.  Left single again.  I quicken now to poetry and patterns.  I remember walking down the streets at night

 praying , As I watched through plate glass windows, manikin faces putting their children to bed. Wondering could this ever be my fate? Is love something someone could hold for me? Is this my possibility? I stroll back as a child a father figure who raped me  . He stole  my worth, but I knew if I believed in God’s word , I wouldn’t have to go through this over and over again. Could someone see the priceless treasures in me?

It’s been 3 years since that day 3 more broken relationships including a marriage.  To a man who yet didn’t see my worth.  I sit here now in front of a computer. Back at square one. Different today then the girl pondering the people behind the glass walls.  If I did see my worth in God’s eyes I wouldn’t of let them walk on me or beat me down.  I am not a victim to them, just to myself.  Believing the lies they told me. When Jesus said ,” you’re ok.     

Ingannatore

I doc my Aces
Bet my odds on sailing the great red sea
Find the Joker
Laughing , I take my seat.

The ribbons worn loosely
Like her knees- but I mind my manners-
Never got me far , except some scars
But you never minded , I mean mended ,
As you kissed me goodnight with intentions
Of painted Kings hanging onto regret.

So I sing a lullaby to grace as she sleeps in the belly of my stomach
And you wish her away
 you scream for us to be washed away!
 
Jokers become reminders
Love letters become filters

As you laugh down an empty hallway-

It’s all my fault!
It’s all my fault!
Girls-
In the bedroom-
In the bathroom-
Alone
Puffy lips
Beautiful eyes
With no one to see her
In the dark

But she wasn’t the victim
You see.

Running the wrist of the king under cold water
Finding her faults
Finding nothing but mazes instead.

If I Could Find My Coat (1)

Trail the blood from eye lid
Sweating salt palms grim,

There was nothing but absence
Signed and chained was for my protection
Broken was the pen
Guilty was the conscience

The jury sits in silence
Penance for the soul that hangs from your shadow
So you can march far from my words
Left void in the rain
But I am stamped and branded in your journey

In the end it will be to late
No turning back
You were to be  the coat on my back

But yet, you tore the buttons- into shreds.

While the funeral procession plays its last song
You call – to make sure that I am ok..

Let me tell you a story about planes
And real Kings.
The phone is silent
He doesn’t understand

No I guess you wouldn’t I said.
To the mad hatter man.

So vedova- he laughs,
As he sentences his own hanging

She wonders –
Why didn’t he love me?

Bonds

Curl up in wonderland with metallic machine guns

Walls painted white, just the way you like them

So we come in for the landing, to see what you see

Tornado spread thin.

So the violin plays from famed lips

Black butterfly window panes

 It’s your house ,

Your taxi.

A world of heaven - your world of nightmares,

I sent you a thousand messages -but they only touch your shores

We can only get so far…

So I’m sailing- heaven can’t live in hell

Funny thing, she says…

Never was a fire.

Some have a mirage broken and bound to their eyes.

So please darlin’

If you make it

The beach is littered by candy heart verse

But we can’t save you

The seas are calm now

Behind me lies the storm

When The Honey Is Gone

There’s a guateen in my pocket

Holding up the storm

There’s gumption in my throat

Makes me say uh mmm….

I tremble in his presence footsteps loud and clear

Tell me Mr. Sandman,
 never thought I would have the strength to leave you…

With a bullet in my brain

Salvation in my brow

Freedom from this prison

You laugh-

I bow.

Puffy lipped girl, lesson learned time and again

New York tells me I’m special

But I needed to believe ...

But I read it from newsstands.

As I wipe those tears with smudged hands

So I turn to my boy ,
 With another broken promise and a pen.

To tell him the devil won again.

I hand him a heart in a locket

Please tell him it’s not his fault

Please tell him I am sorry

So everything runs thin

The piano stops playing

What do you tell the boy who loses dreams….

Because of the monster under the bed.

One Shot - Rain Coat (1)

There’s a famous jacket who toured the world with buttons

What were those buttons?

Brass with those clasps

Hanging on your words in the morning light

Under your shadow

I try to remove with a new dawn
As it gets erased with your sunset eyes
Tell me as I remember you
With your raincoat
I fancy you in my glasses and lip gloss

As it pours down heaven

So maybe if time didn’t have a name
And a stamp
I could wear this dress a little longer

Instead I am here
With tasseled reminders
Of overdue library books
And unrequited looks

An Iris dilated in reform
In search for her soul

But we all know…
This letter will always be lost in the mail…

Page 2010-One Shot (1)

There’s a cigar in my pocket
Conversation in my coffee
A riddle in your mouth
Not sure what it meant.

There is a sun in my sky
And a cloud in my eye
I walk in the slowing of time
Capturing memory
With one step forward

Half steps back.

A smile rots in your pocket
Holding onto it
As tight as you can
Saying goodbye and hello in sentences
I can’t seem to catch.

I sing along to your song
I see it all in the rearview mirror
Unforgiving
And foreseeing

God offers me a light

The Devil pulls my tail

With laughter I fall to my knees
If he only knew

He was the sun in my sky

One step forward
Half back
With a cloud
And A sigh….

Where The Ocean Ends (1)

We have to be big girls

In capes

So please
 close your eyes
 don’t ever leave me…

As I lay here and tell you my secrets

Maybe he will fall asleep

Maybe he won’t

He won’t here us dreaming
If were quiet 
 

Maybe our dreams well make him sweet

But right now we have to pretend

As I hold you close to me

Where pink Lens draws tears

Diluted with ABC”s

Be my confidante

Well be spy’s

I am Alice,

“Nice to meet you”

Don’t worry wer'e safe here

Commander sets sail once again

“We have to be quiet”

She says,

Hide our capes

Your safe with me

Potion

Space between veins and thread
Black ocean
we pool around your feet
Rage sits
As we grant you a smile
One dress
Forgotten
Down

With memory

You never knew

Never knew I was there

As the crows circle for the feast
I am aware.

The needle in one dilated tear.
Empty atmosphere draws a blank stare

From across the room
I am an army fighting for four
Becomes two.

Water runs red.

Sacrafice

One

Stepping on stones
In a crowded room

Can you see my fingers?
raw to the bone

My lips open
Words torn

Can you feel the secret on your neck?

You look out
We are alone

Rage sits
We grant you a smile

One white dress
One memory
Forgotten.

For One Shot -Excused

I shutter in leather eyes lashes

Cuff me to black veins

Fool me into your prison

Cut me in your dungeon

I am the spy




Love me

In heart shaped locket

Keep me in your magazine article

Between news lines and spread

I am muted space




Between cherry red lipstick stains

Drawn in stitched panties

Made of lace.




Reach for me

Beyond wire rimmed lens

Dense imperfection

Music and conversation fades

I am beyond the crowds

In Contempt

Handcuffed to buttons

The way my smile creases your heart.




As I fade back into the distance

You smell me on your fingers.

Confessions Of An Old Sailor

She sits on the bow
Contemplating her treason
Gun held close to her brow
Sweat shop surrogate love
How will we make it through this storm
Compass points somewhere past North
Captain I’m losing you

I know what I wrote
Oh my this sailor might
She just might...........

Hand me my cigar
Where’s Jesus when I need him most

The tide is red and the baron takes flight
I’m grounded
Oh star commander
Russian Roulette was always my favorite game

This time his hand has the trigger finger
I’m on my knees
What a storm
Oh boy
Your quiet today
A thousand miles behind us
Contemplating treason
I hope I don’t regret this........

Finding Alice (1)

I am the prisoner sleeping in the belly of your soul
Lost in the ocean of one Iris
Dialated and unsure of the coming storms

Call me Shameful as I laugh
In your noose

I don't mind the intrusion
How metal rusts roses
How you tend to ignore these conversations.

I wear my umbrella even when it's dry outside.
Only you understand why.

Can you get me back to Alice?
Where everything is clear.

Where door knobs lead you into directions
directly

Im falling down the hole
And Im waiting
To see Beyond the bottom

Between Me and The Devil (1)

I wish I could have my seat at the bar

share my last drink with the devil

tell him how his words come out so much better than mine.



Alice and the rabbit, I will tell him

that’s all we ever are

reaching for stars

coloring them in with paper clips

and cutting them with scissors

slipping them under pillows

letting tears fill our lessons

kissing them good night



sleep tight

in patchwork pajamas

where it began

once upon a time…..



If I could….

begin in the web he spun me in

the one I can’t break through

Coffee runs through the well

pennies run through the holes in my pockets as we say our goodbyes



And you write…

Iris mixers, H20 eyes.

empty and full of life all at the same time

I love you.

I love the letter, torn and scarlett red

marked in the mail addressed now to someone else







Your name is etched in stone

I tried to erase it with my pencil



He saw it in broken eyelashes

worn hugs

with rings around tired hearts



I ask you to let go

you ask me to come closer.



Tell me Mr. Devil

What do you presume?

You say I turn my own grave



web spinning

coughing



Iris …. H20 under a million miles of mask.

If you could, read between the lines,

the devil can.







Coffee and trains,

Devils and stars,

wishing wells and scars.



Scarlett letters and mail.



....Alice.... says kings can wear hats,

Crowns suffer wars.

Armor breaks,

Symphonies trail behind us

in patch work pajamas.

Pardon Me Sir... Conversatating With The Devil.

Pardon me,

Old man

May I share this bench,I dare you to look me in the eye

To look at my Jesus.



Can I talk with you?

For a moment



Bet you couldn't take my hand

You been here all along-

To rape me when I was a child

Alone in my bed.



You were there to tell me lies,

I believed them.



Pardon me Sir,

You stole my family

You crippled my body

You tried to kill me twice.



Your face is old

Your profile strong

You were once beautiful

You had to have it all.



I wanted to tell you

As we sit here now,

Sharing this bench

Like old friends,



When you wanted it all

You were cast from heaven



But you can't have God's promise



You can't have me



As we sit here now

You won't look into my eyes

Because you will see my Jesus



I am here to tell you now

Old man

We sit in a War



In the end

We know who wins.



Pardon Me Sir.