monopoly

The metal coats hang
With frozen smiles
Empty pictures - I stand here
Wait for your imperfect hand shake
Did you notice me in the corner of the room

There's a disguise
I didn't win the race tonight
Stupid girl in red ribbons
Should've known better ,
Never was that girl - sitting in time out

Had a voice
In an empty room
I fought for you to remember
My name

Should've come naturally
Funny I have this audience
All of them here
except you

She was extrodanary
She was never meant for the corner
Come in
Come in

Love Letters (1)

Delicate glass finds its self under the feet 

Of my eyes , I can't see my reflection 

With out you in the horizon . 

I can't write words with out my hero as the subject or look to the sky with out the star - 

And I drive watching the moon 

Wondering if your ever looking back at me 

As the drive feels more and more alone 

It really doesn't matter if I say good bye 

Your written in every line of my life 

Under shattered leaves of fall

The loss and win to lyrics of these songs 

The only problem is 

I can't bring you home . 

Why can't my love be enough 

I'm just a silly girl

White cotton panties 

Warm sun 

My heart beats big for you 

Not the biggest band aid could do 

I just always knew 

Orchestra

Moments sit on finger tips 

Dancing on ideas that seem to fade 

In and out like you 

The frequency resonates 

The band plays - 

I fall asleep to the tune 

I write my own story 

I'm my own orchestrator 

I fall into your sea 

Lost and forgotten 

The Stars won't leave me 

The band plays louder 

Then fades into the distance 

What can I do 

What can I do now 

These moments sit on my fingertips 

Alone 

Waiting for home 

Dungeon (1)

Here I am at the door 

No ones there 

I'm scattered left remaining 

Tasseled hair 

Maybe it's meant to be 

Left alone 

Hand grasping air 

Butterfly bandaid 

Hiding yesterday 

No one looking back at her 

There's a time and a place 

But the clock never seems to be pointing 

In her direction 

What does it take 

To start over 

Do you see me 

Like holes 

In black sky's 

Feel me breathe in you tonight 

Here I am at the door

No ones there 

I'm scattered left remaining 

Crowns

Take me home to my heart . 

Sifted through ashes 

Conquering the wars 

Slaughtered lambs there's something to say for the living 

Something to remember for the lost 

I have a voice 

Lost under glass 

Concrete walls 

Free me from this 

I'm the wolf 

Pacing at the door 

Covered in the lambs tragedy 

So here you have the storm 

I have everything there is to be told 

I'm not an underestimation 

I'm the lullabie

To unanswered prayers 

So listen close 

There's something to be said for the living 

I been sifted through the ashes 

Found wanting 

Made into new beginnings 

Take heart I say 

As the clouds gather 

We will not fall 

I promise you 

We will not fall 

Consolation

If I sent you one last letter 

I would tell you I'm letting you go 

Your the ace missing from my deck 

The best whisky on the shelf 

But I can't hold on to love 

That doesn't love me back 

And I can tell you 

It would be worth waiting forever 

As you live in these over due pages 

With no return answers 

Shadows (1)

Alice commits suicide 

Can't shake the shadow 

She runs one way 

Hearts another 

Kings sit pretty with crowns 

They watch her fall 

It only matters if she's on her knees 

As she band aids the loss of being incomplete 

There's an ace missing from my deck 

There's a storm over head 

Nothing can stop her 

From un becoming what they want her to be 

She looks past the shadow 

Like Peter Pan 

A fairy tale can't save her 

I sit here between words and periods 

In this world alone 

Lost 

Says , Alice 

Searching through every window 

Sea

It's this place

He says . 

Take my hand 

She says . 

Across the wall 

Built against oceans 

I make this boat 

Patch work left wounded 

Stitches and sails unfolded 

It's dark here 

The storm comes from her eyes 

She becomes a light house 

He said I see you 

She said 

Come . 

Lights faltering 

In and out through the haze 

I can be your sun rise 

But as I sit the sun only sets 

Compiled

A letter where words break apart 

The last letter I will

Write 

About how it changed my life 

Something I have to let go 

And can't say good bye 

If I sailed the world to find the darkest ocean 

It could never hear the torture 

Of losing what could never be 

Found again 

I listen in the darkness 

Nothing 

How do I say goodbye 

In this letter I write 

But I can't keep fighting either 

I'm a ghost

Your the sailor 

I see the pictures 

And I'm not your home 

I can't forget 

I can't remember 

Can't say good bye 

Can't say hello either 

So here's your stamp 

I'm home 

I'm not your home 

Writing to say 

I can't let go 

But I have to say good bye 

Midnight

I'm standing in the rain 

I'm not the midnight train 

Waiting at the station 

Coming and going 

Coming 

And 

Going 

Do you see me here 

Wait with me 

Traveling alone 

Never asking me where I'm going 

My suit case full 

Am I not the beauty 

As you cast your stone 

My heart beating on broken tracks 

Dead 

And gone 

A leather cliche 

I'm more than fascinated 

But you can't read this can you 

Or your suitcase would be ready 

I'm more than this 

I'm a kiss 

Hello 

Not just good bye 

The Fall

I feel the leaves of you 

Wrestling under my skin 

It's always fall , in this place 

I sit in the warmth 

Watch trees changing shape 

I can't walk to winter 

Leaving you behind 

I hesitate in every moment 

Trying to find 

A smile in the silence 

Bringing you here 

I'm stepping on keys 

Black and white 

Can you still hear 

The scream of breaking me open 

The smell of home on your fingers 

I lie here now 

Leaves blowing in the wind 

Midnight of winter moving in 

I stay here quiet and alone 

Hoping you will meet me here 

Kalidescope Letter

I see you from the corner of my eye 

I'm displaced in this shadow 

I'm choking on reason 

Living on memory 

Tell me 

Marry me 

Marry me 

As broken fingers get ready for the fall 

Tell me 

Stay with me 

Stay with me 

I don't regret this at all 

I can fight in these songs 

My insides 

Where you live 

You are my blood 

Coursing through this heart 

There is nothing 

To bring you back 

I stand here in the rain 

Singing you songs 

It's cold 

I miss your warm 

It's the death of me 

And I'm ok 

Tell me 

Speak to me 

Speak to me 

I hear you from a thousand miles 

I write in the sand 

Falling from hour glass 

Every moment alone 

There not you 

Thank you 

Broken fingers holding on 

Tell me 

You loved me 

You loved me 

I'm in the rain 

No regret 

Gypsy

There was a moment 

Swallowed in blankets 

Fighting an ocean of tears 

Listening to your words 

Slowly drowning me 

It was that night 

I fell apart 

When I needed you to be the one to fall 

Hand me a cigar 

I'll quietly miss you 

As I drive alone in my car 

If I could push rewind 

Could I change that night 

Maybe you just needed convincing 

I'm not hard to love 

Left with candles and stale cake 

What do I do with this 

I knew you were mine from beginning to end 

I'm no beggar 

When I write these letters 

I wanted you to stay 

Because you wanted too 

But I never fall 

But I did that night 

As you slammed the door 

Now I'm left 

Full of reminders 

Of what I'm looking for 

Panic.

Can you be the shelter 

In my storms - 

Calmly sitting patiently 

I ask you 

Does the crow keep you warm 

Night shifts into a melody 

You hummm secretly 

And I begin to fade into the darkness 

How do I keep your light 

She wondered 

Jupiter

Clean my eyes 

Dilated 

Coveting the picture frame 

Empty glass 

Burning in my fingers 

Bruising my neck 

I lost sleep 

A vacuum of what I used to be 

Confined in this place 

I feel you waking 

Lost and sleeping 

Invisible i am 

Stitched in time 

Metal lense blinds you 

I am black leather handcuffs 

Batting eye lash in temporary libraries 

Filed and put away 

Feel me in the morning 

Under blankets wet 

Picture frames broken 

You wouldn't ever know 

She's a mess 

Blue Prints (1)

Frames sit steady on the shore 

Empty spaces fill today 

Architect hands placed firmly 

Around 

Your eyes 

Reaching deep inside 

Held with so many regrets 

Pacing fast 

With one last breath 

Catch me if you can 

House sits 

Empty 

Blue print hands 

I have the paper 

I have the pen 

Let me burn old pages 

Bonnie and Clyde she said 

Telegraphs

Come tell me how it goes 

The way stories never seem to end 

The way we write them in our heads 

They told me something different 

As a little girl 

I wore a white dress 

Did what I was told 

There's a hundred monsters 

I'm left lacking 

A hundred broken 

Am I breaking 

Or are you out spoken 

A cowards tale is un forgiven 

Like the monsters 

Hiding under my bed 

Below all the victories 

I stand with pride 

So tell me why 

I'm braver than the hero who saved me 

I sit here asking why 

Wondering what you ask yourself 

At night 

Axis

The record shatters against 

All I have faith in 

I don't believe she lies 

I toss medal jacks like marbles 

There's clouds dressing the sky 

Like an open wound 

Counting time 

What can I do . 

I'll run 

To re write but never be undone 

Like needle and the thread 

I won . In the moment 

I found my army 

When you held me 

The day I was a warrior 

Even when I transpired your ghost 

As I let go 

Faith prays 

For you to find me 

Counting clouds one by one 

Delicate

I was born the day you recognized me 

I woke in the glory 

Of the day 

When letters opened , finally read 

The sigh of relief finally met 

If I could say it any better 

Standing in arms 

From across the room 

From across the world 

It's where the cloud met the sky 

Never knew how things felt when they became right 

Like how that line went in the movie 

The last one in this song 

Tell me - 

As you walk in the woods alone 

Am I there folded and hiding there 

Somewhere in the crease of your 

Smile 

Lost 

In the letters finally read the day 

That day 

I hear the music still in every quiet room 

I feel your heart beating left in the quiet 

Of my ear 

I'm asking you 

To come home 

Because when your across the room 

Across the world 

Your near me 

Film

There's a listen in your ear 

And an arrow in your blood 

I gut the belly of your compass 

I search hard 

I breathe every step 

I turn away and find 

You 

Tell me as my movie reels 

Into focus new memory 

Keeps rewinding your iris so clearly 

A vision I see perfectly 

Gleaming into my intention 

Like brandy 

Drunk on your love 

I can't forget you 

I can't erase you 

Like your last letter 

Typed so perfect 

I climb every ladder 

That will take me farther 

But it just leads me closer 

How tell me 

How do you separate 

One 

To 

Two 

I am not a hopeless romantic 

I am not a writer 

I am not a martyr 

I am just here 

Trying not to remember 

The hero 

Who saved me 

So tell me 

How do you walk now 

With my arrow 

Coursing through your perfect heart 

As a reminder 

That I'm here waiting 

Trying to save myself 

Journey

Condolences sent to you 

To the faces that have turned there backs 

I walk the miles plenty 

For David fought Goliath 

And won 

I walk with my head high 

The rest left in picture frames black 

And white 

If you don't believe me 

It's not my job to do all the convincing 

My job isn't to empower the weak 

Moths love the light 

But yet darkness can't live in a lit room 

So please there is no offense 

In your walking away 

From me - 

My audience is the strength 

Of kings 

The hall ways haunt me of lost love

Waiting to come back 

Like Braille and lanterns 

Walking fingers and half hearts 

Wishing memories home 

And for those that we walk hand in hand

They are my home  

Stations (1)

Grazing fingers on pages

Ends of letters that walk along 

Memories following like shadows 

And your remains like ashes 

Pushed into lockets 

Half for you 

Half for me 

I can write a chorus 

About how I hear you whispering still 

Some where in the city lights 

It makes for perfect conversation 

When I'm alone in my bed 

What happens when the chorus ends 

They say love last a life time 

I tried to catch you before the coming train 

I caught your eye as you drifted away 

Pages become history books 

Words become love letters 

And train stations become home 

U turns

Exit door lights up 

Seems like it's revolving 

I'm sitting at the other end wondering 

How explanations turn into thoughts 

Into written words 

Into blank messages 

Faith has me here 

In every window 

Every song 

Losing you best is trying 

To find you again 

Letting go 

Holding on 

All over again 

Crayons (1)

I wrote you a letter today 

Like a coloring book 

Inside and outside the lines I drew 

I crushed the paper a hundred times 

I couldn't quite get the message through 

I knew in your silence 

What you were going through 

The crayons are laying on the floor 

Music streams at midnight 

Not sure where the time went 

But I knew 

I'm left here crumbling paper 

Can't say I'm surprised 

Tried to catch you before midnight 

Before you hid your final good bye 

Under the mat where keys go that wer'e meant to find . 

You know what I mean don't you ?

You knew I had it figured from the beginning 

Should've stayed 

I'm the finish line you see 

Now I'm here left with paper 

Crumbling 

With endings and new beginnings 

38

I write best when I'm not thinking 

Heart guides me best as I'm driving 

Whatever she tells me is the truth 

It's always the truth between you and me 

My voice is all I have 

You will only know me if your listening 

I love deeply but love rarely 

Love never comes easy 

Success only comes when you believe in yourself 

Believing is integrity 

I have a handful of friends but boy 

Do they mean everything 

And to them I'm everything 

They hear me . 

I'm 38 tomorrow 

This past year I've learned to listen to people from the inside 

Things are not black and white 

We live once take nothing for granted 

Let no one take you for granted 

And never let go of love . 

Because true love comes back . 

And most of all make everything count and never do anything you may regret 

Cheers to another year 

Light Houses

Phones type out blank messages 

Neon lights fade into a sunset 

As I drive tonight 

Shadows pasted perfect to the music 

Never fading never staying 

The rocks seem more like empty waves 

I can't stand on a grave 

Sail the seas I say 

Anchors remind me of the light 

Broken on the hill - 

Searching for calm 

Finding only the storm 

I never wanted to be the hero 

Just didn't want to get lost amongst the waves 

The distance is fading faster 

As I read the news paper 

Bets are in 

All or nothing he said 

As I sail alone 

With ghost from home 

Paintings

Contemplate finger prints 

Left on coffee tables 

I watch the crows spread there wings 

Leaving a winter behind 

I am the sunshine 

If you rinse the Braille I left on your heart 

Then friendships aren't made to last 

There's a foggy rainbow 

Telling you , your stories 

Sitting here alone 

With your brush strokes 

I can't remember what you said 

I'm just left with a picture 

Don't let it burn in my hands 

Contemplating finger prints 

Left on glass tables 

Afraid of the coming 

Afraid of the going 

I am the sun shine 

Left with this picture 

Left in your hands 

Spells

Cast a shadow in the well 

Change falls from this pocket 

Wishes fall on empty stars 

Funerals line broken dreams 

With the courage to take a hand 

Sitting still - I'm gonna stand 

I hear you in the distance 

Voices lost on old pages 

Half written ,holding on to every letter 

That was never addressed . 

Lockets separate, 

Golden clasp 

I see you in the window 

Calling my name 

I can't reach you there 

You can't reach me  

Black

Leather panties crawl on the floor 

The devil smiles 

Red harmony typed out 

Calculated hunt , 

Guns drawn at the silver gate 

Betting is it heaven or hell 

Whisper my name 

As I scream 

Love dies in black rose lenses 

Reborn at midnight 

When we have fallen 

Take place 

At the starting line 

Return to my bed 

Can't imagine you out of my head 

Gun re loaded 

Tell me again 

I'm what you always needed 

Like a cigarette

Like a needle dripping heroine 

Carbon

I drive through empty tunnels 

Wind passes through broken spaces 

A hundred hands grab my fingers 

I turn the music up 

Sing the last song I can remember 

The review mirror stays the same 

Funny the way things change 

Funny the way they stay the same 

A hundred hands slipping through 

None holding me 

The miles begin to look the same 

On this drive tonight 

If the Braille was written on your wall 

Could you read it 

And I pass through a crowded room 

Looking for you 

Do you see me 

Fingers touching 

Moving

Telegraphs written gone unread 

A Lonley love song lost in smoke 

A conversation between two now one 

Tell me how does the story end 

You said you figured it best 

I figured I'd wait a little longer 

Little girls always have dreams of castles 

And you were the hero 

If I say good bye today 

If I put a stamp on this letter 

Would I fold your cape and put it away for later 

I sit now in our sunset 

Folding envelope 

Tired of all the nights alone 

Maybe love never dies 

But I can't fight alone . 

So I walk down the path 

The numbers on the house they fall 

One by one 

Eyes black - tears fall 

But you figured it best 

As I drop this letter in the mail 

I'm guessing 

There will be 

No answer 

Sure Things

I can't do it 

I draw words out 

Like spilled paint 

That never dries 

It is you standing there at the edge of every breath I take 

I fight every moment 

But you are there - 

Knocking on every door - 

I look to the sky 

On every night drive 

The Stars guide me home 

Tell me not to forget in faith tonight 

I feel you at home inside my eyes 

Sitting looking out 

I know you want what's best for me 

But you were what made me best 

You see 

Concrete Footprints

Spine falls flat into open wounds 

I call out into the darkness 

Nothing speaking back to me 

Converse untied 

Cold winds and a lost regret 

I can't think of anything else 

I saw you last night 

In a dream 

I saw you in the song I heard on the radio 

Life is fleeting into faded heart beats 

Riding this dream alone 

You tell me to let you go 

What's The Wall

Fall from heaven 

Ashes turn to wings 

Bridges burning in back grounds 

Just to realize pictures never meant a thing 

One brush with the best intentions 

Left me breathing 

As the door closes 

I open the window 

Climbing head first into the sunrise 

From the best night of my life 

I can't apologize he said 

I raise my hands 

I wake up to another tomorrow 

Tell me the secret as I fly 

Will you fall with me 

As ashes turn to wings 

One more memory painted in graffiti 

Burning buildings 

The news comes 

Love is like a bag of marbles 

Falling fast 

Tell me 

If you close the door 

I'll open the windows 

Climbing 

Head first to the sun rise 

Circles

I collect your pictures 

As they fall to the floor 

Like black eyes drawn to sky 

Wondering about the last night 

There's a huge answer 

With question 

How do I go on - 

There's a building 

Tearing it down 

There's a light 

In the tunnel I chase you in 

Shadows left behind 

Sit with me in the moment 

Meet me here in the memory 

When everything was perfect 

No care - 

Now there's no answer 

Tell me how 

With the whisper of good byes 

Left on parchment paper 

Hoping this pen will run out 

But love it never dies 

It lives on 

Ever searching for your light 

Finding shadows instead 

Possibility

Impossibility the moon whispers 

For even the star can't live away from 

Her sun 

Impossible the way 

She runs . 

I press up against a glass wall 

If I could scream aloud 

Fogg up your sky 

Re trace your memory 

Back 

To my kiss 

I would try harder not to ever lose you - 

Bubble gum kiss on your lips 

How does it 

Impossibility 

A boat float 

With out her ocean 

And I guess she just will 

Post War

Collect the stars in rusted necklace 

That's alright 

Carry you around my neck 

That's alright 

Dust the memory off broken dreams 

That's alright 

Find you in the eyes of songs 

That's alright 

Wait for you to come home 

That's alright 

Try to forget you 

That's alright 

Remembering  you 

That's alright too 

Lions

Years erode into paths 

A wrinkled soul hides well to beautiful smile 

Shake my hand years of scars 

Hidden wisdom 

Leaning on bookshelves in the dark 

Travel in silence 

Hear the crowds 

Love absent 

Full of faith 

Miles part 

The only difference now 

Is the ones who chose to hold my hands 

Follow through or fall away - 

There for the memory 

To take my breath away 

Lean on my library 

Open my page 

Courage and faith 

Questionable

Stained memory 

Filtered high , breathing you in

Holding it in tight 

Black widow flight 

Dangling for the devil 

Grinning from my chin 

Tell me why your hell feels like heaven 

I have this glass of whiskey 

You say I'm not fine wine 

Your right - 

I'll tell you darling 

If you come closer 

You will find 

I'm the poison in your veins 

Runs long past tonight 

A heroin you can't fight 

So I whisper in your ear 

When your alone at night 

Tornequete 

Resolve

There's the great unknown 

I hold the finish line 

The race we run unjust I know 

Tell me what it takes to bring you home 

Miles of broken road 

Bending dreams conform 

And I am ready to give up 

To give in 

I look in the window

See your reflection 

I tell myself one more day 

I tell myself no more 

Then I'm reminded 

Your my guardian angel 

And I know this road you travel 

I don't know the words to write 

To bring you back 

But I tell myself to give up 

As I sit in the window and stare 

Just one more day 

One more day 

She says 

Home

Pray for tomorrow but for today , all I want is to be home . Stand in the mirror you look the same just looking for shelter cold and the pain someone to cover safe from the rain , all I want is to be home . 

- foo fighters 

Fear of my heart absence of faith . 

Empty glass 

Eyes full of grace 

I can't change tonight 

But I can promise you will be safe 

There's an open road 

Bent miles of pain 

Stolen from the wreckage 

I know loss I know gains 

Let me fill your glass 

I'll be your whisky tonight 

Best intention you've had all your life 

Rabbit Holes

Lipstick stained pillows 

Hold steady conversations 

Between broken walls and rusted hearts 

No resolution 

Searching dark iris 

In comfortable position 

I get lost in you 

But only for a moment 

If I stay to long 

I fear I won't escape the beauty 

And the beast of you 

So I'll sleep in your shadow tonight 

And rest in your tomorrow 

Lipstick smeared kiss 

Cotton panties 

Spilled on the floor 

Hand cuff caress

Begging 

For another 

Night 

To rest 

In you 

Chaos

Can ghost's be Heros 

Up piano keys her thoughts run

Like his eyes did inside her 

 

She holds on now to the edges 

Where he left her 

As he watches 

Will he save her 

In time 

The Way Home

Show me the way back 

Where broken windows 

Become stained glasses 

 

Where shot glass whiskey memories 

Become the future 

And a kiss good bye 

Becomes hello again 

Against The Light

With the last sail lifted high I'm ready now - yellow card 

The hand rest alone 

Heart paces in a cage 

There's a wolf at the door 

He paces - 

I roll the dice 

And contemplate 

Envite him in 

He can't stay 

I can't breathe 

I'm the wolf too 

I'm lost 

In losing you 

With one hand 

Heart paces 

Missing 

In its cage 

The violins play 

Nothing 

Nothing's the same with out you 

Rogue

I can't feel with out you 

Inside 

Me 

I can't live with out your 

Heart beating 

Feel the way the tide breaks 

Us apart - 

Like a funeral 

Like the way our eyes met 

The way the sun set 

I held your hand 

Fingers printed 

Like sand never parting 

One - 

As we sift through this hour glass 

Nothing hurts like this 

Separated 

How can you part 

One . 

Red Baron

The trouble is counterfeit 

It's all the same 

Left and right 

Counted and found wanting 

Like stale conversation 

Boring plane rides 

I see your Braille 

When you think your hiding well - 

Then there was you 

Soaring higher 

Behind the mask 

It was you all along 

I was never 

Never invisable 

You were a hero

Now I'm left with empty pages 

Waiting for someone to read my story again 

Turning these pages 

The music plays 

Can you hear her 

Tell me can you hear her 

Passed (1)

Climbing through my window pane 

The sky is dark with memory 

Fleeting into the wings of crows 

Scattered like black marbles 

No direction 

No which way to go - 

We painted a sign 

They couldn't read it could they 

I'm here calming the storm 

But the crowd is getting heavy 

As my eyes 

Waiting for something that has left 

What can she do 

Stethoscope engraved on your sleeves 

A sign only I can read 

A song only you could hear . 

But there's nothing 

Wreckage

Feel my heart stop I lift my eyes 

I can't choose when to love 

Or who I am a part of - yellow card 

Deserted dreams 

Are like a dead army 

At war . 

Marching with empty guns 

There's a place I hide 

A grave where I still find us there 

Much alive 

I'm fighting at the edge of a storm 

Nothing is left but my heart 

With weapons down 

I'm screaming 

Can you hear me ? 

I'll fight here in this place 

Hearts cut into pieces 

I blow there ashes 

Falling sand through 

Your broken fingers 

There's a place I hide 

A grave where I still find us their 

Much alive 

I'm here in the rain 

Calling out 

Can you hear me ? 

Acquisition

The quiet things that no one ever knows - The Brand New 

I started a revolution 

In your eyes , I traveled through the room 

In your arms I fell to my death 

I'm the spine holding the broken back 

I'm the Vengence 

Tearing away your clothes 

There's a whisper in the audience 

Can you hear my name 

I'm the rain

I'm your heart

Feel me beating 

Shakespeare

Locks and a safe hanging behind
 favorite paintings
Over fireplaces where I sit and contemplate
Everything we can't remember
And the one thing we can .

I'll sit in your chair you see
Smoke your cigar
There is nothing like me
I'll get in your safe
Beyond the maze
With out you recognizing my face

But you will never mind I'm there
Your paintings a cold museum
Perfect ,

I'm a perfect mess .

I read your Braille the moment
We shook hands .

Now you walk the halls of my museum

I ask you

Do you need a cigarette

Possibility

There's a terrible sadness in the air
Pick me up in your shelter
You told me it's cold inside

But I'm out here in the rain -

There's a fire
I course through your veins

Let her break your sky

The Stars cry
Save me like you did yesterday
Save me like I saved you

You say it's cold outside
But I'm out in the rain

Hear the wolves
Coming closer ?

I know you remember me
I have a fire
It runs through your veins

Goal Post

I reposted from my Agent Orange blog . I want to redirect some of my poetry traffic to my other blog
It's meant to inspire and help reach goals .

Please go to my blog profile and you will find agent orange blog . Thank you .

Foo fighters - ever long is a great song , My friend Phil got me listening to it now it's my turn to get you to listen to it . And as it streams through my head phones I will write today's blog -

I started this blog a year and half ago . I wanted it to encourage others in hope and in love . Sometimes I read back and I encourage myself on the days I forget how strong I am . 

The one thing I always say to any one is keep your integrity and be you . When friends ask for advice I tell them the same. Sometimes in life we get hurt or others will hurt us . But as long as you can look in the mirror and say I have integrity and I'm being true to myself your doing ok . 

Secondly focus on the goals at hand . I have set goals I write them down and crush them . Maybe there are a few I got close that's ok too . You keep pushing keep making new goals . 

Sometimes the higher you get the more heat you get . People don't like to see others accomplishing anything . It doesn't matter how nice you are , or who you are , you can't please the masses . 

Keep your focus on the finish line . You can't win watching the side lines . 

Thirdly - to your friends and enemies give love . This is called character . I mean your going to win right ? All that matters is who's at the end cheering you on . 

It's rough I know . Don't lose your joy , sometimes I do , but I'm reminded God is there , friends are there , and look to some of the great people on your journey 

Never give up !! Follow the rules 

-agent orange 

Game Of Risks

" And you asked me to open up my walls to all of this , but I tried , with fingers broken ," - Scope Of All This Rebuilding

I pause in the storm
The silence is screaming
I break for you -

This is how the story goes

Written in between the lines of these pages

Yet all they want is between half past 11 and midnight

There's something to be said about a story unread

Maybe she's missing some pages ........

Some say there's love

I say there's fairy tales

I say fuck

Maybe I broke this type writer
Maybe I'm invisible

He writes at midnight
He says I'm beautiful
I say he's beautiful

What's your story

We both have our walls he says

Fingers bleeding
It's cold outside
I'll let you in

Alice and the Cat (1)

There's a rain coat rusted and red
I stare at it hiding in the corner
I watch the sun rising through small rain drops

I remember the way your smile changed my eyes
There's a song playing in the distance
I hear you humming from across the ocean

You whisper -
Alice I have not forgotten -

I contemplate the red jacket
As I toss back whisky and regrets
Make me big again
She says ,
To the cat -

Alice was always brave - he said .
But I could argue that .

So here she goes , the cold sets in
And you dare me to pick my sword up again

Because love lives even when love dies -

And that's what you always taught me -

Never giving up -

Heroes

I took a pill this morning
Slip away they say
Make me forget I tell myself
In a mirror -

I forget what love is
Until I see your picture
Then I forget why I'm dead

I cut my day around lost smiles
Take a pill in the pm

Smile fades in the day
The phone rings its him
My emails empty though

I remember you saved me first

Entry

View from the roof top of your iris
Seems clouded .....
I sit and conversate with your demons
They can't hear me right .

I'm screaming at the gate .
I watch you holding hands
With a ghost

I hold hands with the past

I carry this letter
I can't find the author
Signed by you

Panic Room

Funny how a familiar smile becomes forgotten
And a laugh that once saved you
Is lost like a stranger -
On a crowded street in New York -

I fancy the way blankets and fingers crossed us
On Mondays

Or the way the city lights hummed as we drove
On Tuesdays

It's Friday now - and we can't spell our names
I love you / written on a steamed bathroom mirror

Lost when you opened the door to say good bye

It's not supposed to end that way ,

It's not supposed to begin that way either

Asleep

Collateral she says 

Button missing 

Fix me please ? 

I'm not the one she says ..... 

He pleads his case - 

I shake my head 

I'm left here alone 

With graffiti on my walls 

Doesn't quite keep her warm 

Phone is ringing 

"What's the harm , "he says 

"Of course ," he says 

As she waits alone - 

The thing is 

He won't even read this letter 

He's not even brave enough to save me 

Not even brave enough to save himself 

Reverse (1)

I'm not sure why 

She said 

The phone went dead and suddenly 

So suddenly the connection was lost - 

I went over the story 

About the boy 

Doesn't matter does it ? 

How many times we cry ? 

I watch the airplanes fall from the sky 

I hold his picture every night 

But darling 

No ones left holding 

On the phone 

Gambling your last penny 

Drinking your last shot at the bar 

Betting your last smile 

Of this memory 

I'm telling you don't look back 

The cost is left in the wonder 

Your value a broken mirror 

Paid in full with his debts 

So let me tell you about a boy 

The phone went dead suddenly 

So suddenly 

Faces

If It was about the value of this penny 

All the change in your pocket wouldn't do

It's not about me , it was always about what they saw in you - 

I walked around with out a mirror for so long , passing strangers , face planted in the ground 

Back faced into the crowd 

Invisible 

But it was you 

The one you couldn't face 

All along - 

It was your weight I carried 

On the shelf 

I toss the penny in the well 

Staring eye to eye now in the crowd 

Sometimes me 

Sometimes them 

A pocket of change 

Your regret 

Fiths

There's a candle

Half lit 

Ashes breaking in winters Sky 

I put my puffy red lips together 

Blow you a kiss - 

I'm rummaging through band aids 

And blankets - 

How does she hold you 

How does she mend you 

It's all the same dear ...... 

Come sit with me 

Snow flakes falling 

Not one ever the same 

I'll take you for a ride tonight 

Make you believe everything's all right 

To bring you back to life again - 

The wax has become cold 

I search for you under the snow 

I wish I could 

I wish I could 

Change nightmares to dreams 

The Winter Collection

There's a tide coming in 

He said close your eyes 

Follow me girl 

Into the forest we walk 

Blind folded my love 

Eyes wide open - 

Laundry hanging on the line 

Paper clipped heart shapes made of twine 

Tell me Mr sandman , I write fairy tales in sand , washed away by the hands 

Of the unforgiving tide - 

Follow me he says - 

He laughs - 

The forest is cold - 

The crows are screaming 

I ask,"have you heard a word I said?" 

The sun is setting 

The path is narrowing ,

You hold my hand and whisper - 

Trust me - 

I see him , leaving 

And I see him leaving too - 

I remember their suit cases were packed long before you got here . 

And I'm peeking through these cracks 

And I let go of your hand 

Because your fingers 

Are their fingers 

And I'm packed 

The train is waiting you see 

It's always waiting 

Paper mache heart 

Perfectly clipped to your hand 

In place where I once stood 

Tell me Mr sandman , 

How do I write fairy tales 

In pen ? 

With blind fold on 

Eyes closed 

Electrical Conduction (1)

A thousand notes scattered and scarred

Can you die of a broken heart ? 

Electrical problems they say - 

There's a thin line 

As I drive one last mile 

Praying all the way to the grave 

This time I'm alone . 

Hand stitched friendship bracelets 

Gold cross around my neck 

Tattered I am 

Used up 

What will they say ? 

As every dream streams down her face 

I hear the dial tone 

No one left on the phone . 

Can you die from a broken a heart ? 

I read the news this morning 

The pills prescribed are mine . 

Another Song

Picking up hands she says 

As the faceless clock mocks me 

I fear my leader has gone 

And I can't reckon the last time I sailed 

Fearless - 

Can you see the magic ? 

The moment I stepped in to your black picket fences 

I burned them to ashes 

We called it love 

No one understands this rhyme 

Of a locket split and frozen in time 

Conversations running back and forth in our minds 

He heard the music play you see 

Silent in the winter air 

Now left writing fairy tales 

Paper

Old magazine add reads 

Obituaries of torn up pictures 

Left over memories with no finger prints 

No names - 

Contacts embrace dialated lense 

Old tears fill an ocean of pillows 

I rest my head on , only I never sleep 

As I carry on alone 

Walking with regret 

Growing grey and invisible yet invincible isn't the same 

Tell me as I lie here alone 

How will it end 

What will it say 

As the water rises 

And the violins play 

Their  tune drunk

They never understood a word 

They say 

Never understood 

The girl at all - 

Percussion

Hold the cuffs 

Puff out the secrets 

Fuck all that red lipstick 

 

You say your not the one 

I say I am the sun 

I'm everyone's 

The narcissist cup 

Drink me up 

Who can contain me 

In your room 

In your bed 

Tell me your story 

Can you read mine 

Braille at the end of a journey 

I may be your biggest mistake 

Tracks

There's a stethoscope love 

Bound by the train 

I'm roaming on the tracks 

I hear your heart beating 

I'm pacing 

The clock turns half past morning 

And the sunrise reminds me 

As they sit quietly on the outside breathing 

Come in 

Come inside 

The station is busy 

The train passes by 

No one notices 

Me 

The Crack

The pendulum ticks into memories 

Cutting them into flecks 

Spread across a dusty picture frame 

Nothing left 

Empty glass 

I'm aware of circumstances 

I dance alone with consequence 

Certainly I have conversations with notions

I grasp at the final words 

I scream at the ending 

I can't run any more 

I'm lost inside 

I'm found inside you 

Take me apart 

I died in your arms 

I walked into the gas station tonight 

Eyes black streaming 

They don't see the pain 

Of dying 

When you left 

I'm lost inside 

You see 

I'm found inside you -

Winter

Echoes sit boldly in picture frames 

I drive along way from home 

The noise is deafening 

I can see my guardian angel watching me 

Quiet 

Empty chest 

Breathing in and out carefully 

Screaming somewhere in a cold snow 

Miles and miles away - 

How do I go - tell me - how do I go 

Devils And Demi - gods

There's a common fire 

Approaching the midnight ocean 

I see you in the horizon 

It's one more victory 

Before we turn in - 

I can't stand anymore she said 

I can't love he said 

An' we met under the blanket of dawn 

Holding our guns 

With all our strength drawn 

Devil and his Demi - god 

With one last breath 

Against a hundred wars they won 

Bet against us to the last penny lost 

There's a common fire 

Approaching the midnight 

I see you there 

In the horizon 

It's one more victory 

Won 

Before we turn in - 

Flame

The day is half decided 

Dreams run through like heroine 

I can't brush you off - 

It's the needle parted into 

Heart beats - 

Running defeated and half empty 

Tell me the secrets we hold in our hands 

Stretched faith and shot glasses 

Filled with nothing but moments 

As the miles go on like a nightmare 

I can't wake from - 

For every verse is yours 

Like heroine 

Coveting 

All that is mine . 

All I've become 

Is the day 

Half decided . 

Sailors Plight

I'm not quite sure how he got the most important paddle 

I sit here palm on cheek laughing mildly 

To my self alone in my wooden boat 

Over thinking stale conversations , about 

The way you looked so much better on me 

as the sun touches the horizon I'm left a little fuzzy and a little broken 

And your left with that part of me somewhere ,with an extra paddle you see 

So tell me as I'm left mid sentence as its better for you and better for me - when we're left with broken pieces at the hull of the issue 

you were once my captain 

I'm left here softly laughing 

Some how discouraged 

Setting sail 

The Races

You are the hero and the killer 

Puffy red lips dream of kissing you 

    Good night 

No sign of you 

I tell myself in neon intentions nothing's left , as you sink my ship , nuclear she says , something you only see in those books you find in vintage thrift stores - 

And the gentleman come and go as fast as they say hello , they've got no chances 

She watches the horizon and she knows he's not coming back - 

Tell me , what to do with a love like that ? 

The quiet is noise these days , I'm so lost 

I here the music but it's not the same 

You see - it's not the same 

Poetry and love

Poetry is a secret story between you and the paper . No one quite knows her secrets except the pen and the the air that dries her fragments and her lover that hears the lost good byes written for him tonight . 

I say poetry is best written as a lost letter written for her lover to find . But most poetry remains lost . That's why the best poetry is written late at night and the poet is alone . 

No poet will tell you what their poetry means . It's for you to decipher the hieroglyphics of words written for secret soul mates that lay a hundred miles away 

Under all these pages and pages and maybe just maybe you can take these words and cut and paste them into your world like music and sing along with us . 

I write mostly about a love I met a few years ago and said good bye too - 

He is my twin flame my 1111 . I think I write best when I'm loving or falling apart and he has me doing both . And that's just fine I write my best this way . 

I urge you to follow along on my journey and find yours as well 

- war commander 

Conversations

If I could I would write the perfect letter 

To bring you home , 

I would tell you about how I drive home at night I think of you and stare at the moon , wondering if you watch it too . 

I would tell you how I lay in bed dreaming of holding you just one more time 

Wondering if you ever dream it too - 

I also wish I could just once hand stitch every song that reminds me of you , but it would be to many lines and to many words , you see - 

And if I could one last time I would tell you about how confused I was about your note , because good byes never come bye one way conversations between a lock and a key - 

So tell me because I know .... I'm not crazy , and I've been a little around the block , and a girl like me doesn't give love so easy - 

So tell me - when I'm a hundred million light years away do you feel me - ? 

When I tell you I miss you when I'm alone in my bed ? Do you hear me on my drive home at night tell you I love you when I search the moon ? 

And as much as I move on my heart stays back some where with you . 

Maybe you will never read this letter addressed to you . But maybe you will hear me talking to you on my drives home . 

Never Resting

" In this world there's real and make believe , this seems real to me " - 3 Doors Down -

I can't see the other face of the world 

Standing in someone else's life 

Like rusted nails we're  breaking down 

The whisky runs dry - 

I see it written on the wall 

A Braille only you can feel - 

I push in the chair 

Leave 

You have no good bye 

Lost somewhere amongst the crowds 

Is she a face you see past the doubts 

As you run 

She waits alone in the bar - 

There's nothing I can do 

Nothing I can say to make you 

Understand 

She walks slowly to the door 

Do you remember what was left behind 

And I - 

Fall to my knees , 

Like a rusted dream it falls apart 

Braille on the wall 

I'm writing this letter to you 

I know you hear me 

Whisky runs dry 

No good bye 

Don't tell me 

I'm not 

A face in the crowd 

As she leaves the bar 

Letter to You

I'm pressing forward 

But I can't move my heart 

I can't go on with out you - 

And I'm moving 

I'm happy - 

But I'm lost - 

It may sound crazy 

Me writing a letter 

About loving someone so much 

But I'm laying in bed dreaming about you -

Now that I'm alone in my bed 

With a broken heart 

Tell me how does one go on 

Knowing I love you so much . This isn't a poem you see . It's just me and these words laying here in the dark. 

As the tears fall down my face 

11:11 reads on the clock - 

All I wanted to know is if you ever felt 

The same . Do you miss me when I miss you ? You may never see this letter 

Or know - how hard it is to go on with out you 

Are you here ?

Sometimes you wonder when someone lets you go , if it's so hard for me is it hard for them at all ? I can hardly stand it.  Checking my inbox and nothing . You want them to change there mind . I can't chase it anymore . If he loved me at all he would come back - I can't wait either - but in a way i do , in a way I always will - 

Twin flames

If I could tell the story I have 

Locked up in my safe 

Behind the painting over my fireplace 

I'd sit you down 

Eye to eye - tell you how I felt him 

From the inside the moment I layed my eyes on him 

I couldn't explain in it in detail 

All I could tell you is I knew him 

With out ever speaking a word 

With out ever saying our first hello

I fell in his soul / sounds crazy I know 

But there I stood as time as we knew it 

Stood still 

I knew in an instant he was mine forever 

I just had to have faith 

Because faith herself told me / his soul was telling me so 

And they begun a conversation from across a room 

I could barely sit still I didn't even know your name I knew I loved you / more than I ever loved before - 

That's the feeling I had the day I met him 

Written 7-2015

Why It Does Exist

I have a very heavy topic to speak of . Will I ruffle some feathers ? May even lose friends and cause many conversations amongst the  young and the old .This topic is cause for great concern and critism , I will write from my own experience - add in excerpts from doctors , and most of all you may find  your self getting angry , but as you get angry - 

Maybe just maybe you may find I am right . So let me take a moment to put on my head phones , plug in my charger and take you on my journey .

I recently had a conversation with a close girlfriend of mine who said ," Amy , we have many soul mates ". She said ," don't limit yourself ". 

I used to believe this - I used to be a cinic 

I'm not saying she is a cinic . So here me out . I was at work last week , I sparked a conversation they said , " Amy , there is no such thing as a soul mate !" I felt sad inside . But just not long ago I was one of them . So let's start back to the beginning . 

All of these people are married . So keep this thought in mind . 

I want to keep this train going in the right direction so stay with me - 

Before we go further let's look at what a true soul mate is first ok . 

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely open and honest with who we are."

Ah, soulmates. The epitome of love and partnership. In our fast-paced chaotic world, which boasts all sorts of different people, we find ourselves skimming through more relationships than we'd like in order to find that one person who can truly open our locks.

Not just anyone can fulfill you the way your soulmate can. There's a world of a difference between your soulmate, your heart's other half and a life partner -- a person who lacks the elements to mold perfectly to you. Your soulmate makes you feel entirely whole, healed and intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.

Most of us remain in life-partner relationships because we "settle," for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, we may have a real subconscious fear of being alone. And since we're biologically designed to fall in love, it's only natural that we pair up in this world. But we sometimes prolong what are meant to be temporary relationships and mistakenly settle into them for good. There are relationships which must last for a certain period of time to close out a karmic chapter of life, relationships in which we're meant to have children with our partner but not necessarily remain with them, and relationships which are just plain confusing because a melting pot of emotions doesn't allow us to see our predestined path.

from couples who married their childhood loves to people in their retirement years who still struggle with commitment issues. Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes, meaning that we experienced several relationships before finding the person we believe to be our perfect pairing. Whether you're currently married, in a relationship, or contemplating entering a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you know what role this person will play in your life. After all, there's no avoiding the inevitable, often uncomfortable question we must ask ourselves: Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with? Or did I settle too quickly into a relationship with someone who can never complete me?

No matter the category you fit into to, there are several indications which clearly outline a soulmate bond (or a lack of bond) between you and your partner. As you go through this list, think about your partner or potential partner and evaluate whether they meet the soulmate criteria.

So here are the questions : 

1. It's something inside. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It's a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who finsh each other's sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.

4. You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other's imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

5. It's intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you're focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

6. You two against the world. Soulmates often see their relationship as "us against the world." They feel so linked together that they're ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soulmate by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on compromise and unity above all else.

7. You're mentally inseparable. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soulmates.

8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. This means that if you're a man, yes, your woman should make you feel protected, too! Your soulmate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.

9. You can't imagine your life without him (or her). A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can't imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. You look each other in the eye. Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other's eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.

Whether you're designed by the universe to be soulmates or two loving people who have settled for each other's strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours. The beauty of free will is that you can remain in or change any relationship as you see fit. To be with your soulmate is one of the precious treasures of life. And if you feel you've found your heart's other half, I wish you endless days of joy and laughter, and countless nights of deep embrace, unraveling the mysteries of the universe one by one.

Soul mate or twin is something that is true and real . Sometimes like stated above if we marry young or settle its not because we found that spiritual twin connection , sadly it's found later in life it causes confusion . But it doesn't make it less real . This isn't about lust . 

I myself only experienced it once in life . It wasn't even to the person I married . I thought I loved in life until I experienced this . You feel what they feel , you just get them . It truly is a twin flame . 

My point is if you have found it no matter what your circumstance , be happy it's out there  ..... 

Caged Birds

There's 2 sunsets 

One is dressed as the other undresses - 

One is at the east 

The other the west - 

You watch the dawn , 

Wondering how to reach her 

As the stars beg for forgiveness 

You toss and turn under the moon 

One you call home 

One you call your dreams - 

One kisses you good night from across 

The sea 

One falls asleep - 

Churches

If scars had confessions 

They could tell a story 

Of nights full love and whisky 

It was the best thing I could ever remember 

Just as tomorrow reminds us  

Of all the nights missed 

Holding hands 

Slipping fingers past closed doors 

Reaching for one last moment 

Hoping it never passes away 

I don't care about tomorrow 

I just care about today

Because it's one more day

 I smile 

Cuffs

Bullets hail down the hall - 

She laughs finishing her last cigarette 

Could you find her ? 

She's running towards you 

Down the empty streets 

It's dark , I know 

But she slows the rain 

For a kiss good night

As she climbs 

In her get away - car 

Wishing wells

There's a toll he said - 

She asked him how much - 

He said it cost nothin 

I said nothins free darling 

He said my love 

I won't leave 

I sat at the gate 

Dropped my coins in the well 

Took your hand 

Watched him - 

Walk away . 

Seeds

There's a window 

Where your fingers stained clear glass 

There's me 

Watching the reflection of the future 

I can't see - 

Prints staring at me 

I can't see past them 

I see you 

Watching me 

Inbox blinks empty 

My eyes a blank screen 

Every song on the radio

Is a conversation between you 

And 

Me . 

I can't bring it back 

As the sun sets 

I can scream 

But are you listening ? 

Current

You have stolen my heart 

Sitting beneath the sunset 

Counting shapes in the skie 

Searching for the silver lining 

Of living and learning - 

I fall asleep on an empty pillow

Waiting for what the world has for me 

I'm fine 

But 

You have stolen my heart -

Bonnie and Clyde

It's a chase amongst words 

Half wisdoms - and could haves 

Hope weighs heavy on my shoulders 

It's Bonnie - it's Clyde 

I ride in the sunset 

My face in your hands 

I can't convince you - no 

I just wanted to be your home 

Houses

I sit here with a bag of hearts 

Blaming myself -  there's no place like home 

I wasn't prepared to hold hands 

With fingers broken 

Healing in the snow 

Hold me one last time 

As I feel you breathing 

Brick buildings falling away

I sit here 

Head turned to the door 

I can't spell regret 

But this good bye spells your name 

I look away 

I can't change today 

Heart beats to yesterday 

There's no place like home 

Rebuilding is never easy 

I wasn't prepared to hold hands 

With broken fingers 

But what  you couldn't see was my feet 

Safely planted on the ground 

Here to carry 

You 

Now she walks alone 

Bag of hearts broken 

There's more to this 

More to never leaving 

Swords (1)

There's the devil 

Sitting in his bed side manner ..... 

His grin catches the room 

Everything falls like sand slipping 

From an hour glasses throat - 

I turn to him 

He grins - 

We meet again - 

Tell me about the war 

As he tries to hold my hand 

I move past the shadow 

Into the light 

My blood violet 

Iris is an ocean 

I laugh 

As I continue on my path . 

Possibility

Across a broken sky 

Masked in umbrellas 

Lost in a maze - 

Pictures hang on walls 

Losing there gaze 

I search for windows 

It's raining ...... 

Find me here 

In this place 

Where trains they come 

And 

Go 

Where no one can hear me 

Run your fingers across my Braille 

I will watch behind your eyes 

As you keep my heart beating 

Suddenly I can't breathe 

No Good byes- tribute to gage seal who was killed at 15 years old

There's a hole  in the clouds 

Where you picked up my last smile 

Took it to heaven 

Did God realize you forgot 

We need you here 

Does he understand 

That every good night and good morning 

Has been lost in memory 

I can't forget it was yesterday 

When you hugged me 

Laughter catches fire and youre the wind 

Setting happiness to the world 

To the words wer'e left here to remember 

We pray - 

As you watch from above 

Nothing's the same 

The world cries 

Today it's raining .....

Rapid

I collect finger prints 

Like old news papers 

From my hands 

Left un touched 

Un washed - 

Shaken . 

If I turn away 

Will you find the smile 

Lost in the ocean

Separating you 

From 

Me 

I whisper your name 

In a summer rain 

No one sees me there alone 

Dreaming - 

I wrap his jacket around me 

I watch you laughing 

But it's in my sleep 

As I sit here collecting 

Finger prints 

From hands 

Like old news papers 

Shaken - 

Left here alone 

What Is Love

We fit in a box 

No unfinished sentence 

Or period 

No smeared or blank conversation 

We speak with out talking 

We hear with out having to listen 

There's something to be said about magic 

The way it's unfolded 

Two magnets from two ends of the earth 

Collide in one room 

Under a million circumstances 

To only be reminded that they just get it 

As one world becomes two 

Never really becoming one again 

Painted

Tracing circles around tired eyes
Watching an empty sky
I break away

Theirs a filthy canvas I paint
Can you see me hide
the music plays against the stars
as they rust from magnet skies.

Take my hand let me kiss you
even if its pretending
Ill jump from your bridge
Into everything you want to erase

Feel my finger prints
leaving scars -

Call me Eros
as arrows hail from walking dead

theirs nothing I can do
The needle was half way in when you were found ~


I am an addict just like you ......


I lie here counting stars
from with in


as I sit on your blankets
Its cold
a holocaust
sitting in your coffin
As it beats

Tracing circles
Letting me kiss you
Even if its just pretend.

Converge (1)

God gave us graces 

With mercy on her back 

I can't seem to find the road 

That leads back 

There's a mask on the sky tonight 

Hiding her secrets 

As I jot them down 

If I can see you 

Who then sees me 

As I remain in a hollow hand 

Do you understand ? 

Close your eyes 

That's where you will find me 

In the words she never said 

It's a complicated matter 

I'm sure 

As I kiss you good night 

As I find my way home 

I kiss the hearts of sailors 

Of slaves 

Of warriors 

I remain invisible 

As I rest my head 

Will you find me 

In all she left you with 

Wonderland (1)

Alice takes a swallow 

Finds herself smaller 

Reflection hauntingly shattered 

Racing to find the peices that make her 

Big 

Again 

Door handles rusted 

Leading to the hallways 

Where letters read on walls 

Are the arrows of perfection 

In reflections of those hand held 

Compilations she needs so badly 

Now the locks are locked so tightly 

The cat sits smiling 

Of all the love he never quite had 

But I know who has the key 

I'm not the one for reckoning 

I'm also not crazy 

My head is on tightly 

As I swallow it all one more time 

I had it all since the beginning 

Un - certain

Lost diaries hold secrets 

Of letters that will not return to her sender the way they were sent 

Like the way you entered the room 

The way we went 

Swept away like rain in the winter 

Thoughtless mindless 

Torn away 

Like an envelope lost from her stamp 

I have no home no address 

Left the last look 

Of the first love with no hello 

No good bye 

Tell me 

How to live 

Lost . 

Losing

I cross the ocean 

As I lie here staring at the ceiling 

My prison , a funeral holds my hand 

I can't shake her 

She sings me to sleep 

She whispers good morning 

I look past her to find your smile 

I throw on my head phones 

Streaming songs of conversations 

Run muted and shattered like this note 

Words sent under untouched lips 

I wait . 

I feel you listening . 

As I lay here 

I know you hear me . 

Heaven

On the contrary I speak in eternity 

Will you be with me 

Somewhere holding my hand 

Can you chase your fears away 

For a moment 

To hold my hands 

I'm standing now right at the beginning 

Where the world is mocking me 

I wrinkle my nose at there suggestions

That I may not be something made 

Of ashes and queens 

I wait for you ....

To come running 

To catch my smile 

To hold it safely 

Big brown eyes alone 

In the dawn 

Will you be 

My destiny