Repost - Rain Coat ( because it's a favorite of mine )

There’s a famous jacket who toured the world with buttons

What were those buttons?

Brass with those clasps

Hanging on your words in the morning light

Under your shadow

I try to remove with a new dawn
As it gets erased with your sunset eyes
Tell me as I remember you
With your raincoat
I fancy you in my glasses and lip gloss

As it pours down heaven

So maybe if time didn’t have a name
And a stamp
I could wear this dress a little longer

Instead I am here
With tasseled reminders
Of overdue library books
And unrequited looks

An Iris dilated in reform
In search for her soul

But we all know…
This letter will always be lost in the mail…

Heart Pocket

The radio static is loud
I can't judge the deadly
I can't drive 200 on a road that ends.

Unravel the tread on this old highway
I know nothing that is sane
I know all to well the game.

I get out of the car
I hear still the music playing.

Heart pounding
sweat pouring down my face
everything I once knew fades

The bullet
now racing through these veins.

What happens when you lose control.
What happens when you have an Ace.

Your standing at the edge of a lost road and your begging for more freeway.

I scream

All that I am is swimming

I walk in a room

calmly.

No one knows

I'm lost at sea.

Fuck you

I am the hunter.

Now I am the prey.

Fuck you

I play the game of poker

You are the Ace

Fuck you

for winning.

You took my heart pocket

Stole the key away

Nothing Underneath

I write the storm letters
As laughter drops from black and broken clouds
A conscience is lost behind smoke.

I sit on benchmarks and sleep on silk bed post
cuffed and alone.

Heroes lost and long gone.

Music plays , I stand in a room crowded
and I am alone with you.

Yet you are not here
with me.


Tell me the secret
what do I do with half hearts and broken miles?

I’ve already traveled so far.
I am invisible.

An orphan lost in the snow.
Left alone with only a smile.

The one you gave to me.

My About - old post reposted

Carpe Diem.... Life Is A Stage .. What is your part.. Live without regret..Live loudly..Wish Big...Always accept an invitation.. Always follow your dreams.. Always love like you've never been hurt before.. Always hold onto your Aces..Dance like you drank a little too much..Never let any one tell you who you are.. Always be who you are.. Never let any one yell at you and tell you it's all your fault ... We are here to be loved not misused , abused , or taken for granted.. Never forget to Pray because God never forgets you... I love Italian Food and I love to live dangerously.. I love scary movies and I want to go back packing ... My dream is to see castles in England and to find my prince who can give his heart whole heartedly... I love to write poetry , The ocean is my sanity , I love to smile.. I love my friends they're always there to catch me when I fall .. or when I've been pushed around.. I love my son Austin he is my hero.. My light at the end of every tunnel.. God is my passion he leads me through every dark night.. and every scary battle.. And here I am now.. Loving you ... Loving life for all that it has to give me.. Good and bad.. tears and smiles.. Nights of loneliness and some full of love... Lets all do this ride together.... Here we go. No Regrets...

Rogue wave

Rogue waves (also known as freak waves, monster waves, killer waves, extreme waves, and abnormal waves) are relatively large and spontaneous ocean surface waves that occur far out at sea, and are a threat even to large ships and ocean liners.

Rogue wave - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rogue_wave

- rogue wave is also a savior to me -War-commander 

The Great Wish

The core breaks away
like puzzle pieces and frames
fragmented and frozen
I paste them perfectly on a wish


I scream inside a hallway
no one hears me

They tell me I am special
My eyes are bleeding
the mirror is faltering
pills empty

I win with out wars-
They're expired dates on an empty shelf

Traded and sold

Trying to sell my freedom
in return for chains.

The core,
breaks away.


There is everything in between

I fade to grey
I get everything I want


He has me this time
I'm losing

I'm ripping my soul.
I cant save her

she's half way in
and a thousand steps out from the drowning.

Pasted perfectly
the candles are lit

its not even my fucking birthday
I'm just trying to save the wish
 

Letter Of A Car Salesman

The devil concludes on two shoulders
I sit calmly in the middle
I contend with fools
I listen silently all the while they mock me

I deafen my sanity
the band plays loud
They have no idea I have a PHD in their stupidity
and I spit on there superstar misery.

I am a guide to destination zero
A hero of circumstance
I don't need  validation from the circus
I make the art gallery perform

So tell me
I am now amused
I have my hat on.

Let's just take a shot in the dark
Ill take this chance
my heart hangs on a coat rack
in your closet

I'm sitting in the car
letting you drive.

I've never been the passenger.
Lead me into the road
of laughter and shattered windshields

I'm ready

To break the 9-5
of the demons that haunt my day
and the love that haunts my night

a letter of the car salesman
I don't belong here
take me

for a ride.

Fiction

Stories fill the cracks of this letter
and the canvas has paint left to dry

Left with some to reckon
and more to write

this story has been made into fiction
but the storm was the seine  of my transgression

Rogue wave counts as a savior
and ships get lost to sea

where they go
is between you and me.

I travel this road alone.

A captain of my boat

The rewards are weeping.

Not sinking.
There's a punishment for losing heart
and a strength for taking it.

My wisdoms have caught up with me
Like the tide I no longer sleep.

So this tale is not finished
My audience awaits me

Waiting for the next chapter to be written
An account of a compass and her sea.

I

Winter sets in , while it's warm outside
Thought I could change his mind
Oh sweet girl he says , I just needed to fill some time .

My dress and ribbons run red
I'm late for the dance
And I'm alone
They ask for my hand

The piano plays
There's a hundred boys
But you are not here

Tears run down my face
I'm missing cut out hearts
Left in your pocket yesterday

So

I walk with skinned kness
Thought I could maybe change your mind
Thought maybe you could
Love me

But the piano plays ever so quietly as she cries
Cries Herself to sleep

She puts her helmet back on
Oh dear girl , you were just a smile to me ...

Perfect Storm .

I am packed and understated
eyes full- hands disinagrated
words colored , double lined

If I , could I , bleed onto your pages?

I read empty inboxes
blinking alarms and green lenses
are filed away like cards

I can't think of the words
to rhyme with moving
or changing my life....

I can't find the song

and here is the deleted line.


My sail is torn.
My compass drawn

I am lost in your storm

Will you find me out North
or be my rain.

Warcammander is in concession

I'm shaking
my audience is full
She is smiling at the hurricane

Will we survive this?

No sir we won't.

Eulogy Of My Dying Day . Mary Cimmino - My Beautiful Grandmother

Grandmother,


I can't believe you are gone.

I was just 5 when I sat on your white marble sink and you curled my hair for mass on Sunday morning.

I was just 7 when you took me to Macy's to buy the most beautiful skirt a little girl could dream of.

I was 7 half stealing those delicious cookies out of the cookie jar, and even though you said only one Amers... I know you put them in their for our visit .

When I was 12 and almost died you were there when I got in my terrible accident.

When I was 18 you made sure I went to college.

When I was 20 I remember you were the best grandma to my newly born son Austin,
he played in your crib you set out for him at your house.

Your house was always a home to us grandma . You always made sure we had what we needed and gave us so much love.
you never asked for anything in return as far as I could remember.

When I grew older you told me to find the right man for my children. And I promised I would.

I sit now at your bed side knowing you will pass soon, and your smiling.
Can you imagine dying ?

I can't.

She was not crying.

She was smiling. Just looking at all of us around her. She couldn't say much, but her smile said it all.
As she grasped for words I grabbed her hand and I knew how much you loved me grandma.

I tried to think of a poem to write or a story. But I could not. How could I write about my love for you.

Thank you for loving us in all our flaws, thank you for loving my babies. Thank you for your strength and wisdom.
And most of all thank you for your smile that always entered first in a room.

-Amy

Gaurds

Post a mask over iris
I have you as a ghost
I can't hide
I try

hidden under an army of good byes

I laugh at your hello
and smile at your good night.

I write the story
I scream inside

No one will ever read it
But it's mine.

I love your smile
and that's ok.

because you changed my light
inside dark eyes

It's something worth believing
head in the clouds
Hands in my pocket

with one wish left...

Its what you left me with.

Miles

This is my memoir
I am waiting for the way-
to show me the road I have never seen before

The one I have never traveled
Who can show me?

I sit in the crowd ?

amongst the mundane.

Waiting
Looking for super hero's and Whitman's in the rain.
nothing impresses me.

I've seen it all before.

I play the piano differently
but you have to be able to hear my song
to understand me .

It's midnight
the coffee is cold and my words are long

My lips are puffy and my conversation odd

but I will not search
I just sit here and play the song.

I see you across the way
you have my smile.

Whether you can here me play or not.
I may never know.

But this one's for you kid.
A million miles away and all...

The Story (1)

I crave the numbness of the 9-5
heroin tracks of emotion are left on ring fingers
with nothing left but a gun.

I walk into magazine add but less gloss and more spread
changing the way I read and leaving photograph's instead.

Never got me far I say.

Tell me sir,

If I was beautiful why don't they stay?

I change the station
music plays

I am reminded of your bourbon smile- perfect face
I sob silently

I belong no- where
nothing tames me

yet nothing calls my name -

Alice I say.

Holding picture frame.


You will never know the secret

I will never tell

Unless you find her.

But no one has, have they.

Buried under time,
in the 9-5.

searching for something more.
looking for the No.

Flight (1)

There is a pillow for a cape
she is so brave
she wears a smile
not so beautiful, I say

the boys they line up one by one
but they wont remember her name

"she cry's alone" she says.

She sets the stage
the audience has no idea
the audience has no care

she is the hero for the day
no one here to save her day

cast a funny shaped smile for you
tired and broken framed

She sits alone
Anastasia waits
Like Alice and there is no train

Tell me


What is real?

I have a conversation with the red baron
I dare him to set sail

And I watch him fly far away.

There is trouble

on the horizon

Who will know her name ?

The Rabbit And The Tortoise

Anastasia hides in the pocket of the caged rabbit
the tortoise seems to be winning again

I lose my senses
lipstick smears my day
and the girl asks the rabbit his name

Anastasia answers calmly , "its a secret."

The clock ticks in rhymes as I type out a good bye to a prince

The tears stream from black stained lens
And trust me it is not- non sense

Wire lens frame tells me its time
She prays silently on her drive


Its a cloudy day
I sleep with your picture frame

No one knows my name

An orphan she is
In this rabbit cage

I bet you know his name
But I sent the letter yesterday

I watch him pass me by
I'm losing still

Flawed and incredibly insane

But all the less

Its a cloudy day
And I sleep with your picture frame

Does love at first sight exist ?

Love at first sight ?


If there was a day in my life that I could say completely never made sense I could tell you of this day I met this man . As I write this there is no editing or spell check I apologize . My life has been one race to the next . Always trying to get to the next best thing . Trying to win . Falling down . Sometimes winning sometimes losing , but never really looking up . And yet I have this moment , people speak of where you meet someone and you are in awe of them .. That magical moment you hear about in movies and in books ...

You meet someone and your captured in an instant . You wonder if it exist if it's real ? Never has it happened like this !
Your world is turned upside down . Does this happen once in life ?
If he does not feel the same can it happen again ?
I've been and seen enough to last through a hundred wise men , but never have I felt this .
Maybe this was in my past , maybe last week ...

That I will not share ... The point is .. Can you feel that and they not feel nothing ?

I feel like Carrie Bradshaw right now . I guess the answer lies within the spirit of life and God and whatever life brings us ...

Our next adventure ;)

-Amy Everett

Update :

Follow your heart ;
Not advice of others . Love at first sight is real go with your gut whether it works out or not take the risk it's worth it . It only happens once .

Imagination

Marks bleed over scars
Gold buttons fall on a rainy day

I seek black ink justice

your smile , on my face.

Camera watches iris split lens adjust to seep within I am void here in a dark room

Will you save me from the December's of life’s misery’s?

I can feel this heart on my footprint In my own disguise But can you find me under the fight?

I am speaking to you can you hear me?

Calm beauty falls amongst the shores I can give you life If you let me.

Marks leave scars of once a faded memory.

Tattooed and begging for one more try.

I’m watching waiting for you to come tonight.

Canary Yellow

canary yellow sun
Seen in dismal spots through skeleton walls
Sleeping outside in the  winter
Some how I lost the promise
that lives inside your warmth


Bridges carry me to smiles
crossing straight lines through a void and empty room
Nothing sinking in
Nothing giving in.


Pull me to the inside
Where I can show
the depth of the rainbow hiddin beneath your shadow


Canary yellow sun
shining on dry canvas
As you walk away


The cell is cold.
Carving out the bones.


Sleeping outside in the winter
Some how I lost the promise
that lives in your warmth .




my hands are tied
bleeding glass broken heart
spills.


I wanted to see it all.
Come crashing down.


Nothin is sinking in
Nothin giving in.


I'm losing my smile.
As I watch you walk away


   

Classical

I go through pages of lovers

I am left with the quotations and deleted line .

I erase moments that belong in needle

          thread bear with eyes watching misunderstood

You never read the story line
Under white linen dress innocence lies

I am butterfly
I am justice seeking the fight

The heroine of love long died

I'm bound in train tracks
Roped mistakes
Tamed by the light

Always missing the train
Loving the moment of life

I'm a message in a bottle
Out to sea
I'm a wall broken for you to see 

I'm the voice on the stage at night

To never be subtracted
Or defined

A definition in the key of the piano plays
Depending on the day

You can see me there on that page

Lions

Rose petals worn by perils of thorns

in leather bounding love

in prisons of lost languages and sentences

 

never coming and never amounting

to one result

 

If you could look me in the eye

feel my iris ignite

past the beauty of the deception of your lies

the ones the monsters have told you

the one beauty that  lies in front of you

 

She is screaming

but you can not hear her

 

she knows your name

she is bleeding for you

cut by your walls

 

She sleeps outside

No lullaby's

 

I am inside you looking out

I am your fingers reaching in

 

Waking up the lion

sleeping amongst the  pain.

 

Never grasping together to feel we are one result .................

Cuffed

Cuffed

 

I am the refuge

Feel me

Heroine in your veins pulsing

Quick fantasy poker

Left for Jokers

Call Me Queen

 

Time evaporates like spoiled milk

Expiration date has been met

 

Let me explain

How you can’t escape

I am the god

Come out and play.

 

Tell me darling

Your wrist slit

Veins spilled

 

You can’t run from me

I know every lie

The devil tells me

 

Thought you were friends

Satan tries to taunt me

 

Shackled and bonded to hate

Abusing me

I'm coming

 

 

You can’t break free

I warned you

 

10x7

Found some new material
Layin around in my pocket
Behind some lip gloss
Where my life is packed in that 10x7

you  smack me and smile

No lookin back-

I hide the tears behind yesterdays sunglasses….

It’s me and you kid
Alone again.

This pop star beauty


And no one’s looking back at me
Except this one page mirror glass
Broken in the back seat
As we drive in this get away car you wave good bye to me.

Have you got a clue?
I manage a smile
As I walk room to room
Of a broken home
I once new
I escape from the nursery we called our home




I fall to the floor
Where every tear echo’s
I gather myself together
And I leave the keys.

North

Packed my bags for the holiday

The winter is freezing my judgment
and the rain plays classical on purgatory standard

I breathe one more time
puffy red lips stained with yesterdays bad coffee
Adding some sugar
baking cakes...

The holocaust is over
I say its just the beginning of a rainy-day

I fold and meet her smile half way
a rainbow hiding in a black storm
simple and timeless

I'm traveling by train
no one will find me this time
I'm on my way

The crystal ball was clear
The ocean is empty
a result of laughter missing

Tell me
what does adding and subtracting equal out to be

Ill take my blanket this time

warm weather never fancied me anyway.

Coma

I found you today

The hiding spectacle of broken glass

a shrouded rainbow gone black

 

save me grace take my hand instead

the page is long gone and im dead

 

the challenge is- they left me with the pistol

and - bought bullets instead

go ahead turn the other way!

 

they said I enjoyed it any way

 

Its crack cocaine

its crack cocaine

 

they said I was on drugs

I wasn't

I was on rape

 

But he saved me

and then

they took him away

 

There is no damage in shame

just shame in your blame

 

with your dressed up picture frames

 

I ran for help

 

I ran for help

 

there was only one to save me

 

and you took him away 

Ex- traction

dilated heart tracking the congestion of time

lonely coffee bars can hear the music playing

haunting from the other side

lipstick stains napkins
softening the torture of good byes

the devil watches in compassion
I suffer ye the lies .

a crowd of inventors watch me from heavens sky
They wonder if we can give it one last try.

The phone in my pocket erasing memories as you type.

Dilated infraction , puzzling time.

funerals are promised
eyelash falls as I cry

Black and white balloons shell the future
as they sit in red attire.

I the canvas for the weak and blind
torn pages of open paint
with no picture and with out design.

 The lion hunts me
tells me to rest

but I cant tonight.

Holocaust

Theres a progression of angles and evil thundering in ashes above

The sun cant rise on carousel spinning in black and white Holocaust

the world is breaking iris closed tight

tears scream over the muted piano playing

I can't find the ocean to get me out of here

My ship is cast a shore

I am wilted with no rose

Tell me your secret

I have unveiled the curtain

Its my wonderland

no one else gets in

I sit in this symphony a perfect tragedy

I write

as the war wages on

I see you here

In color

Hearts winning

Devils falling

Fighting to set sail once again

Hide and Seek (1)

Alice finds me in the window (pain)
"The crowd is about to speak," she says
"You talk funny" , I say
"no one understands but you," she says...

The devil has a way of grinning that seems so beautiful.
draws you in and spits you out in the gutter

Alice.
Your dress is like sea foam clouds
funny how you always find the rabbit hole just in time

as we say amen.

will it be alright.

Notes

Your coal burning contrite in my lint pocket

There is something about a cloudy day

missing your sunny perfection

There's a state of assurance as the crowd closes in

The rickety trambone of the homeless man asks me for  change

I am reminded that you are their, waiting

I am here on this street freezing under this cover of winter

Waiting to be saved.

Clever magazine adds don't tell me a thing at midnight

as I change my jeans I am alone instead

 and the jazz music never changes

So I wait for the dawn, Ever coming

Ever promising.

But the message is blank and you left a scar on my leg.

Midnight

Rag doll sits in cinderella glass slipper
Reading the newspaper
ink jet print social communist

unraveling my day like cancer
Theres a drug in my vein
Vengence.
Im reading suicide letters in the obituaries wondering..


Is mine next.


Im pressed up against the glass wall.
On display. A humuliation. A gutter .
Used in black garter. gold kneck tie, spent .

All Alone. Cliche ,


I am reaching.. Screams echo, but nothing.
Walls come crashing down,
Cinderella you were never perfect.

Cinderella it's midnight and no one came
to save you.

Theres no one at your grave tonight.

Intermission (1)

Rust compiles into pages
Empty glasses write when I no longer can.

Alice grows.
Can no longer chase the rabbit, nor feel the cold wind blow.

Crawling fingerprints break , glass scrapes
I have made it around the bend.

A new story , I have found beyond the stack of cards
The cat sits in his tree .
His grin abounding

They thought I would drowned.
Upside down hallways
Braille letters left in stone.

Wax museums of hearts
Where mine has not been left.

The clock spins forward and back.. forward and back...

Shake hands with the devil, Thanks him for the glass of wine
and say good night.

I escape this time...

The coffin is open, The treasures are far beneath the ocean
The war commander sets sail....

Jesus in one hand , her cigar in the other....

  

Soldiers Will

Drive
the hour glass
Pounding white lines into tears
As he screams .. I whisper ...

God help me...

There's a soldier.

Lost inside me.

Buried under someones memories

I pull over

Black streams to puddles
beauty fades to your fingers

thrown in an ocean
One man's loss
One man's treasure

Blood was spilled for me..
He whispers back...

Half cocked smile
I get back in the car
He says nothing can take my place.

I whisper,
I feel you.

The phone rings...

My stomach
aches,

Voicemail.

Live by clarity.

He screams he never loved me...

God are you there?

He answers..

I love you....

The Crowd

Conquest makes a fisted presence
through broken bone.
I have all these promises
I fight them alone.

funny red lips
empty mirror
closed buttons.

A thousand prayers.

A voice in a thunder storm
where you swear no one knows your name.

And she is standing
against the train.
starving for the chance to start over again.

The beggar asks for her change
but what he does not realize
is that she is more the beggar than he.  

The Scars

There's a door
stained hinge
Pulling me close
How do I close this open window
to every finger print
that brought me too
this quicksand?
I pray in my car ,
no one sees me cry.
As I leave his straight jacket voice
does he hear my prayers.
I look in the mirror ,
I'm not where I once was.
I'm stronger
I'm weaker
Covered in strength and fear.
I fall asleep alone with my lullaby smiling back at me
Generations of mistakes
This door handle full of blood..
A wounded warrior who wouldn't quit.
But there is no one on the other side fighting to grab my finger tips...
She is screaming in the car..
The music plays loud..
How do I make scars laughter again?
How do I make the demons run away?
I pray for my Angels to protect them as they sleep the night away...
I slam the door..
I know God is here..
The radio says.. The lion roars...
Just tryin to erase the tears...
Rusted hinge..Is any one listening?
Do they understand?

Cards (1)

Cards..

Alice pick your part

I keep waiting....

If I could I would get an old GTO

re write every promise in smoke

Watch them fall like ashes one by one...



Scarlett letters bleed into empty promises

The Ace pretends to be a King

I fold........



One hand

I threw the dice

You left the table



The labyrinth we mold out of cards

Gambling dreams

Speaking truth as it leaves your mouth it burns....



How do we believe

When you raped me of everything I knew



I am the devil you never want to face eye to eye

I am the angel who protects under perfect wings

I am the soldier who won a thousand wars



Alice speaks

snow falls

She is laughing

She is swallowed alive



I write a script

I know every word by heart

Ill sing you to sleep

And poison your heart at the same time



An abortion of hope

Cut the heart into pieces

Love rots



My veins run cold

I ask Jesus for advice

He says..

Darling don't believe the lies



My world becomes small

when I thought we were big

I dance at this funeral

You say it's how it was supposed to be

Never felt that way .....when you were holding me.



Trade a secret with me

Ask your heart to be free

I read the Braille on the walls of your trench coat

that used to protect me

Whats it like to have a voice?



I am a Scarlett letter

I am the seine

in your shallow sea.



Never had a chance

Who can contain me?

Straight Jacket

Straight Jacket voice charms the mind
As I sit and stare at the ceiling tonight.

There is no going back this time.
Blame sits on your shelf
In a pornographic world full of hate
It's all a mistake
I was just the cloud of smoke you created

I lay here with a million winning tickets
and you have a million losing ends.

A spine cringes as you enter the room
you have your illusions
I have these gates.

So I toss my cigar in the ocean
Pull the anchor
It's the last you will see of this Commander any way.

Soul Mate

Twisted around metal conclusion
Ripping my bones from your pillow
hiding the pools of blood as I shed tears in the bathtub

hollow drain makes for eyes
I feel the cold inside
Waiting for someone to save me tonight

I see beauty in a picture frame
there never mine.

I reach for your fingers
but your to far away.

I crawl in the dark
searching for the heart
but its never there...

I whisper in the rain
I hear nothing
I wait for the story -

Of souls touching.

Instead...

I hear sirens,

He says, " She isn't breathing."

I say, " Maybe she is....
 

Transformed

The love affair begun
When I was salvaged from death
And He said,

I Am.

I was traded on the black market
lied to and told I was worth the weight
of fools gold.
My bones were trampled down to the soul.

But then from the grave He came
I wear his love on  patches, stitched on my heart

I will sing his anthem
There is nothing in this world that can keep me from the truth


I have a love affair with my Jesus.

If you need to be rescued
all you need is salvation.

The Day We Met

The Day We Met

I held the hand of the desperate boy
with dirty knees
I cut out a paper heart
until you were ready for me

But your valentines box always lied empty

I was a little girl
With skinned arms
my dress was dirty
And my father held my hand

I wanted to cheer you on
with my kiss on your cheek
before the pain begun
before you tried to fill your box with rocks
so love couldn't get in....

I told my father it wasn't to late.
I watched you sit on the play ground alone and sad
And you threw the paper heart away.

I couldn't understand it,
I cried alone in my room
My Father said , not to worry
With Him it will always be ok.

But I want you to know,
the day I gave that heart to you was the day
I gave my heart away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMv4NkSq2tg

Wonderland (1)

Raised inscription tattoo the bone
letter sent by hand shake
echoing the message in guilted button frame

As you hug me on my door step
pretending the bruises made by your voice
don't hurt as much as if they happened by fist,

Tell me , how the story ends
When Alice has come to resurface
she finds solace.

She is not a  martyr .

I am not a friend
I don't fix  broken mirrors

Fly away butter fly!
I am reminded as I stand
I see caterpillars ,

Joker

Prescription tears settle at the bottom of this bathtub

I think of drowning.

Will It separate lie from heart?

I do - from never again?

The throttle screams

down empty streets

as does the empty window pain

my eyes grow tired

another night

caught alone with out you again.

This is when I'm severed from the bone.

when the dot separates from the I.

Nothing makes sense this night.

You are not my wife!

You are not my wife!

I am folded on the floor

one deck of cards

you play a hand

I am less the joker

I was a god

before you came in.

Prescription tears settle at the bottom of the bathroom floor

"It's to late to save her" he say's

but it wasn't his fault !

it wasn't his fault !

he say's

I was out

starting over again.

Formulas

Plastic bottles fill empty promises
rage takes a stance from across the room
I am numb now
sleeping in my bed

hopeless swings across the ocean for a phone call
I listen
static clears
pianos bring peace in the distance

I hear the hollow cries of peach cotton candy
she reminds me not to see this glass as half empty

I hear the sirens in the wake of the storm
I remember it's just angels and devils..

Angels and devils..
We always win at this game of baseball..

Stings- these tears in the rain.
I'm up again to bat.
no one at home.

She cries in our bed.
I sing her every lullabye
to find some sleep tonight.
I find her a kiss , I pray to heaven
As I unravel, short thread
long needle.
I hear him screaming..

I promise love it will be alright..

The Last Journey Ends Here- Dealing With Bipolar Spouse

This family rest in a grave
Tears buried and screaming
Can anyone here me
Through the  miles of his lies
There's the symphony she is playing
Gathering one by one
They wonder what it was ............

I have folded
on this journey

As his hand rest between cotton and determination
His knife slit the soul of this heart
as he sits quietly mocking
black eyes.
My white dress bleeds
 

What is there of a man with no conscience
lining us up one by one
apologizing as he fires the gun one more time.

There is no promise to this story.
As there is nothing

I pray , I pray as he buries us for the last time
My tears drowned the box we lay in
The sorrow is more blue than any rainbow I could imagine.

I can't imagine this evil creeping in.
I hear the symphony play as my ears fall under  water
As I sing my children a lullaby
I tried so hard
I prayed so hard
Save me now
I am drowning.
But there is no one here this time.

And there are no more lullabies.

Quote from her Personal closet -Amy Everett

The light shines through the filthy canvas

paint hasn't been here in years

"I forgot what it feels like to be listed in an art museum," she says.

"You will never be left off the mantal again," he says.

For My son- The Passing

The black hood draws shut at the foot of the room
I close the door
I cant reach you
Im sorry they hurt you.

If you could see
I live for you
I protected you
And Im sorry.
If I could take it all back I would
I would take every suitcase you had
And burn them away.

Every ounce of pain.
SO many hurt us
and walked away.
It wasnt to our measure of worth son


It was their own.



I see you
your earphones are on.
If I could I would rip out my heart and give you my own.
So you would know you are not alone.

If you can please forgive me.
I should have protected us better.
should have never traded beauty for a storm.

Im praying for us while you sleep,
God will get us through the rain.
Just know how much I love you.

And I never meant for you to have so much pain.

Dandelion Threads....

>
> I here the alarm sounding in the distant sunrise
> I should of ran so long ago
> But I stayed.
>
> You asked me to believe
> You cried me to sleep.
> Now I am here standing alone,
> Nothing left but a pillow
>
> I throw questions in the wind
> Along with the anger and broken promises
>
> I blow the dandelion
> Watch it's beauty as you spit in my face
> On this cold rainy day.
>
> Did you know
> I heard the wind long ago
> She tried to take me away from you
> you held on.
> And cut me to peices
>  all at the same time.
> I gave it all
> gave it all
>
> you owned this childs heart
> cut out perfect waiting every night
> I lay here as you spit in her face.
> The only rain left is the rain from her face.
>
> You had to tear her to peices
> til there was nothing left.
> she bent forwards and in half
> wrote a love note in a bottle hoping he would come back.
>
> Every gift , every promise a diamond shattered and carried away by the sea.
> she sings a lullabye so she can sleep.
> watches beauty fade
> and every dream drowned under the weight of the sand and tide
>
> She was on her knees
> she was briused
> she sacrificed everything for you
>
> We both did
> Then he spit in my face.
> washed away with the winter rain
> not sure how long it will last.
>
> But I pray Jesus takes the pain away.
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nATpNWlo-ak&feature=related
>
>

The Great Resolve

Composites slit open stills reeling my veins into your corpse
I can’t keep you alive- I’m drained .
Iris shot from blank gun
I sit on this coffin
You lay on the ground laughing
I sacrifice who I am
You reach for the wrong god.

I pray as I reach for His thorns
I feel His hands they grasp for my own
I know you feel me
You call my name

What is left as you make whole again
But do they see the great sacrafice you have made
That I have bled for thiere mastakes?

I am divided
The beggar claims a martars case.
The wisdom is granted for a wolf in a sheeps cape.
As we wait the trial and jury of his fate.

With nothing left but crowns and thread
Look to the King
To be brought your life again.   

To Change It All..

Life sends clutter that sends an astounding noise that echos through our days that we forget we operate on what we have learned merley from our past and not from our life experience. Or what God has taught us . The back stage has been reborn , the scars renewed and we are now the writers of our very own play. Yet pages of old greif stricken novels hold us back and stain our new pages rendering us from hearing our new loves voices, our childrens cry for us to listen . As we scream in our kitchens, hide in our 9-5 jobs. We forget where dreams come from. We forget that the small hearts that look to us for new moments and new dreams are smoldered by grime and empty side walks. And we remain selfish and full of pride.

I am just a writer, who observes so many children who got lost by the way side. I hear them amoungst friends, they talk about how there parents don't love each other any more, or how they are so busy fighting they don't see them. And there parents say theyr'e children are just fine. These kids are 5, they are 7 maybe 13. And they are smarter than we are. You see there pages have not been torn yet. We havn't had the time to do that . And so soon we forget that are sails arn't broken they have just given up to the storms that rage around us.

I encourage you to become 5, 7 or 13 again. And begin your story again. Walk backstage and re write your play. What would it say? Where would you go? What would your children see? Would you hide? Would you be afraid to love?


Yes I am just a writer. But I encourage you, to open your hearts, your ears and listen. And re write the story again. Before it's to late. .... And throw the old story away. Where it can never be read again.    

Where the strangers Go.

There’s a stain on my glasses

I thought there could be an audience

But God holds on the line.. He said, Girl it’s his ship this time.

There’s a flurry in my belly

And glass instead of wine.

So tell me, What are we fishin for this time.

As the crazy runs out the door

Were left alone once more.

And I know the decision is clear

God holds - he  hands me a line

And I write it down- one last time.

"There isn’t a man that belongs to you with a double mind. "

So I follow the leader that is left

Write one last poem without regret

I hear the frogs

So Lonely in here

And the Dr. says,

What kind of man was that.

Cupid

Broken arrows pile where cupid fell long ago

I sit beneath the tree where time forgot me

To only read A story.

Beggars walk by with nothing to give but pennies.

And I have my cup out for change.

I saw redemption , she wasn’t on her knees

I felt love but it was in a cage.

I saw bravery through a coward

And a fight through broken battle lines.

I am broken

I am commanded

Gun warm

Bruised.

I walk but not alone

Scratched iris but yet not blind.

Looking for the beggar

To give more than his cup.  

Tori Amos - Pretty Good Year

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpLCFph9iv4

Life In A 10x7

Found some new material
Layin around in my pocket
Behind some lip gloss
Where my life is packed in that 10x7

you  smack me and smile

No lookin back-

I hide the tears behind yesterdays sunglasses….

It’s me and you kid
Alone again.

This pop star beauty


And no one’s looking back at me
Except this one page mirror glass
Broken in the back seat
As we drive in this get away car you wave good bye to me.

Have you got a clue?
I manage a smile
As I walk room to room
Of a broken home
I once new
I escape from the nursery we called our home




I fall to the floor
Where every tear echo’s
I gather myself together
And I leave the keys.

The Tin Man

Crows circle above

As I trade the tin man ,for whisky and a light.

An Eastwood film , I ride through the night.

The men are dead here

Eyes have no form

Hearts- Gone.

I never belonged in such a place.

A canvas painted amongst such storms.

 

I wrote Broadway

Couldn’t perform

Puppets on strings

I hate Pinocchio.

Tell me where to ride too

Where the land isn’t quite so cold

Tell me where to fly too

Where the truth is told.

Tell me.

As I search beyond this lantern

Filled with sand.

Falling through your mad hands.

A Letter To Grace (1)

Patchwork blankets coat smiles
Tell me about dreams and pink daisies
In a world of black hurricanes and rainbows.

I will sing her a lullaby something about  a  pretty good year

As optimism stings the night air
We suffer alone – Marching with angels clamoring for joy
“We can make it ,”  she says

So I grab her hand and my prayers

Darlin here we go again
Ill build you secret windows and capes if I can.

Can you feel me from inside reaching –

The line is wearing thin
But the storm rides on
You bear my strength in arms
Frustrated by the cold

Eyelashes and freckles
Under layers of flavored ice cream
"If angels can -we can"
She whispers , as we fall asleep.

Bedtime Story

She’s just a tornado with skinned knees

And a pink dress

She has some sort of ship

And a direct line to God

Lines static

She can tell a good story

But the commander is tired and the rain sometimes , it sometimes never stops falling.

She will tell you about the boys and how they are cowards with swords

And maybe just maybe she’ll tell you that the ocean is a grave yard full of their bones..

There’s a girl with those unusual lips and dark brown eyes, and they all say she is beautiful

But she won’t believe you , because those boys.. those boys..

She has a sailor she calls home,

She has grace to keep her calm,

And she fights, yes.

But if there was a lesson to be learned

It’s in the stories she writes

But we are soldiers hand made by Kings

Is there anyone listening… the line is static…   

Over Coming Abuse

I shuffle through torn pages with words smudged , hardly reading material . These excrement’s are what is left of the memories of my life. A mere shadow blown across the distant time and passages as I listen to Finch  - Ender, play on the computer.  I browse back and forth effortlessly through time in no order , but it goes without forgiveness, The hands I held in the moonlight in the ocean ,naked under the moon, and one innocent kiss- you think  could last forever but ends, with one summer.   As I released everything we were in 5 years – I course forward through time… Stretching thin –dragging a broken heart with me.  Years go by. A marriage ends.  To harsh words and a man in a mask.  Left single again.  I quicken now to poetry and patterns.  I remember walking down the streets at night

 praying , As I watched through plate glass windows, manikin faces putting their children to bed. Wondering could this ever be my fate? Is love something someone could hold for me? Is this my possibility? I stroll back as a child a father figure who raped me  . He stole  my worth, but I knew if I believed in God’s word , I wouldn’t have to go through this over and over again. Could someone see the priceless treasures in me?

It’s been 3 years since that day 3 more broken relationships including a marriage.  To a man who yet didn’t see my worth.  I sit here now in front of a computer. Back at square one. Different today then the girl pondering the people behind the glass walls.  If I did see my worth in God’s eyes I wouldn’t of let them walk on me or beat me down.  I am not a victim to them, just to myself.  Believing the lies they told me. When Jesus said ,” you’re ok.     

Ingannatore

I doc my Aces
Bet my odds on sailing the great red sea
Find the Joker
Laughing , I take my seat.

The ribbons worn loosely
Like her knees- but I mind my manners-
Never got me far , except some scars
But you never minded , I mean mended ,
As you kissed me goodnight with intentions
Of painted Kings hanging onto regret.

So I sing a lullaby to grace as she sleeps in the belly of my stomach
And you wish her away
 you scream for us to be washed away!
 
Jokers become reminders
Love letters become filters

As you laugh down an empty hallway-

It’s all my fault!
It’s all my fault!
Girls-
In the bedroom-
In the bathroom-
Alone
Puffy lips
Beautiful eyes
With no one to see her
In the dark

But she wasn’t the victim
You see.

Running the wrist of the king under cold water
Finding her faults
Finding nothing but mazes instead.

If I Could Find My Coat (1)

Trail the blood from eye lid
Sweating salt palms grim,

There was nothing but absence
Signed and chained was for my protection
Broken was the pen
Guilty was the conscience

The jury sits in silence
Penance for the soul that hangs from your shadow
So you can march far from my words
Left void in the rain
But I am stamped and branded in your journey

In the end it will be to late
No turning back
You were to be  the coat on my back

But yet, you tore the buttons- into shreds.

While the funeral procession plays its last song
You call – to make sure that I am ok..

Let me tell you a story about planes
And real Kings.
The phone is silent
He doesn’t understand

No I guess you wouldn’t I said.
To the mad hatter man.

So vedova- he laughs,
As he sentences his own hanging

She wonders –
Why didn’t he love me?

Bonds

Curl up in wonderland with metallic machine guns

Walls painted white, just the way you like them

So we come in for the landing, to see what you see

Tornado spread thin.

So the violin plays from famed lips

Black butterfly window panes

 It’s your house ,

Your taxi.

A world of heaven - your world of nightmares,

I sent you a thousand messages -but they only touch your shores

We can only get so far…

So I’m sailing- heaven can’t live in hell

Funny thing, she says…

Never was a fire.

Some have a mirage broken and bound to their eyes.

So please darlin’

If you make it

The beach is littered by candy heart verse

But we can’t save you

The seas are calm now

Behind me lies the storm

When The Honey Is Gone

There’s a guateen in my pocket

Holding up the storm

There’s gumption in my throat

Makes me say uh mmm….

I tremble in his presence footsteps loud and clear

Tell me Mr. Sandman,
 never thought I would have the strength to leave you…

With a bullet in my brain

Salvation in my brow

Freedom from this prison

You laugh-

I bow.

Puffy lipped girl, lesson learned time and again

New York tells me I’m special

But I needed to believe ...

But I read it from newsstands.

As I wipe those tears with smudged hands

So I turn to my boy ,
 With another broken promise and a pen.

To tell him the devil won again.

I hand him a heart in a locket

Please tell him it’s not his fault

Please tell him I am sorry

So everything runs thin

The piano stops playing

What do you tell the boy who loses dreams….

Because of the monster under the bed.

One Shot - Rain Coat (1)

There’s a famous jacket who toured the world with buttons

What were those buttons?

Brass with those clasps

Hanging on your words in the morning light

Under your shadow

I try to remove with a new dawn
As it gets erased with your sunset eyes
Tell me as I remember you
With your raincoat
I fancy you in my glasses and lip gloss

As it pours down heaven

So maybe if time didn’t have a name
And a stamp
I could wear this dress a little longer

Instead I am here
With tasseled reminders
Of overdue library books
And unrequited looks

An Iris dilated in reform
In search for her soul

But we all know…
This letter will always be lost in the mail…

Page 2010-One Shot (1)

There’s a cigar in my pocket
Conversation in my coffee
A riddle in your mouth
Not sure what it meant.

There is a sun in my sky
And a cloud in my eye
I walk in the slowing of time
Capturing memory
With one step forward

Half steps back.

A smile rots in your pocket
Holding onto it
As tight as you can
Saying goodbye and hello in sentences
I can’t seem to catch.

I sing along to your song
I see it all in the rearview mirror
Unforgiving
And foreseeing

God offers me a light

The Devil pulls my tail

With laughter I fall to my knees
If he only knew

He was the sun in my sky

One step forward
Half back
With a cloud
And A sigh….

Where The Ocean Ends (1)

We have to be big girls

In capes

So please
 close your eyes
 don’t ever leave me…

As I lay here and tell you my secrets

Maybe he will fall asleep

Maybe he won’t

He won’t here us dreaming
If were quiet 
 

Maybe our dreams well make him sweet

But right now we have to pretend

As I hold you close to me

Where pink Lens draws tears

Diluted with ABC”s

Be my confidante

Well be spy’s

I am Alice,

“Nice to meet you”

Don’t worry wer'e safe here

Commander sets sail once again

“We have to be quiet”

She says,

Hide our capes

Your safe with me

Potion

Space between veins and thread
Black ocean
we pool around your feet
Rage sits
As we grant you a smile
One dress
Forgotten
Down

With memory

You never knew

Never knew I was there

As the crows circle for the feast
I am aware.

The needle in one dilated tear.
Empty atmosphere draws a blank stare

From across the room
I am an army fighting for four
Becomes two.

Water runs red.

Sacrafice

One

Stepping on stones
In a crowded room

Can you see my fingers?
raw to the bone

My lips open
Words torn

Can you feel the secret on your neck?

You look out
We are alone

Rage sits
We grant you a smile

One white dress
One memory
Forgotten.

For One Shot -Excused

I shutter in leather eyes lashes

Cuff me to black veins

Fool me into your prison

Cut me in your dungeon

I am the spy




Love me

In heart shaped locket

Keep me in your magazine article

Between news lines and spread

I am muted space




Between cherry red lipstick stains

Drawn in stitched panties

Made of lace.




Reach for me

Beyond wire rimmed lens

Dense imperfection

Music and conversation fades

I am beyond the crowds

In Contempt

Handcuffed to buttons

The way my smile creases your heart.




As I fade back into the distance

You smell me on your fingers.